# Answer without thinking: how much do your parents love you?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answer-without-thinking-how-much-do-your-parents-love-you/635555>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [September 22, 2012, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answer-without-thinking-how-much-do-your-parents-love-you/635555 "2012-09-22T23:38:24Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 3\
**Page:** 4

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**Author:** ![Corcaigh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Corcaigh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corcaigh)\
**Post date:** [September 24, 2012, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answer-without-thinking-how-much-do-your-parents-love-you/635555/61 "2012-09-24T11:58:07Z")

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I have a Narcissistic Mother, she only loves herself. She now has [lewey body] dementia and tolerates my presence better, and she’s demonstrated her anger towards me in front of other people (something she previously only did in private)

As for my late father, I’m not sure. Once upon a time I’d have said he disliked me intensely, now that I know what NPD is, I’m not so sure. He may have been so scared of my mother that his behaviour towards me wasn’t particularly loving. I also know that she treated him badly all through their marriage, and I will never understand why he didn’t divorce her. Perhaps he wanted to, but in those days it was unheard of for a father to be given custody of the children…?

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**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\
**Post date:** [September 24, 2012, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answer-without-thinking-how-much-do-your-parents-love-you/635555/62 "2012-09-24T12:48:48Z")

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> [@Shagnasty](#):
>
> Once you decide to create another person, you need to be prepared to back that up with responsibilities and emotions until you one of you dies.

Every parent needs to read and understand this.

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**Author:** ![Imago](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/85e7bf/32.png) [@Imago](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Imago)\
**Post date:** [September 25, 2012, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answer-without-thinking-how-much-do-your-parents-love-you/635555/63 "2012-09-25T21:34:22Z")

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> [@Simple\_Linctus](#):
>
> So what? The whole point about love is that it’s irrational. And murder is not going to increase because of parents not turning their kids in because it’s very rare indeed for the parents to actually do so, so we don’t have to start complicated worries about significant damage to society.
> 
> Out of interest does your answer change if there is a death penalty? Would you report a child to be killed?

I didn’t say murder would increase, I said that in a hypothetical society where nobody put aside their feelings for the sake of their community, every time there was a murder entire families would be pitted against law enforcement.

If there is a death penalty for all murders regardless of motive, I will not turn in a stranger who is not a remorseless killer or a dangerous psychopath. If I somehow magically know they aren’t a monster, they get to live. But a parent or child of mine who has murdered an innocent person with no remorse? Of course I’m turning them in. Nobody should waste love on a complete monster.

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