# Answering questions in songs **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 25, 2006, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256 "2006-05-25T23:40:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2006, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/1 "2006-05-25T23:40:21Z")
Prompted by, when hearing the Beatles line “Will you still need me… will you still feed me… when I’m sixty-four?”, my (mental) answer of “[Nope](http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060517/ap_en_mu/people_mccartney)”. How many rhetorical questions in songs can we answer here on the Straight Dope? Of course, Douglas Adams tells us that the answer to “How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man?” is “42”. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2006, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/2 "2006-05-25T23:45:13Z")
“Does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight? If mother says don’t chew it do you swallow it in spite? Can you catch it on your tonsils and heave it left and right? Does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight?” Yes, No, No, Yes. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2006, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/3 "2006-05-25T23:48:26Z")
“Whoooooooo are you?” Me. “Who, who, who, who?” Still me. “Whoooooooo are you?” Me again. “Who, who, who, who?” Jesus, haven’t you gotten it through your thick skull? It’s me! “Tell me, who the hell are you?” Gosh, if you’re going to be that way, then I’ll just leave. ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/4 "2006-05-26T00:02:22Z")
From the theme song of **Valley of the Dolls** : _When did I get… where did I… why am I lost as a lamb? When will I know… where will I… how will I learn who I am? Is this a dream? Am I here? Where are you? Tell me, when will I know, how will I know, when will I know why?_ My response: Gawd, save us from freshman philosophy students. And don’t Bogart that, kid. Pass it over here. ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/5 "2006-05-26T00:22:47Z")
_“Do you know the way to San Jose?”_ Yeah, you want to get on 101 South - take 7th avenue here and— “I’ve been away so long I may go wrong and lose my way” Uh, OK, then an easier way is to take 19th and it will turn into 280, which will— “Woah oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh” Forget it. ---
**Author:** ![Talon\_Karrde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Talon\_Karrde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Talon_Karrde)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/6 "2006-05-26T05:33:43Z")
I’ve been wanting to start a thread like this for a long time! This isn’t exactly a question, but at my last job there was a song they’d play in the store that went “abracadabra/ I wanna reach out and grab ya” and I would think, “Holy shit, this guy wants to mug me or worse”. That song seriously creeps me out. Another one that always bugs me: You’re So Vain by Carly Simone. Of course this song is about “me”, rrrgh! It really pisses me off when she goes “don’t you, don’t you, don’t you?” Stop pestering me about it! Why do people even like this song? To the Pixies: I’m pretty sure it’s inside your skull. The answer to “Where Is My Mind?” of course To New Order in response to Blue Monday: What do you mean? How am I treating you? I’ve never even met you? To The Replacements: You say goodnight to an answering machine the same way you say it to anything else. Hopefully you’ve figured that out by now. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/7 "2006-05-26T05:39:19Z")
I’d like to post something useful in this thread, but I’ve got nothing. I’m posting only because **Kytheria** recently confessed her deep, dark, dirty animal lust for me in another thread. what? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![dbygawdcapn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dbygawdcapn/32/3995_2.png) [@dbygawdcapn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dbygawdcapn)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/8 "2006-05-26T12:08:43Z")
“How Can You Mend A Broken Heart?” IANAD, but you could have one take a segment of a healthy blood vessel from another part of the body and attach one end onto the aorta and graft the other end to the coronary artery somewhere below the blockage. ---
**Author:** ![ColonelDax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@ColonelDax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ColonelDax)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/9 "2006-05-26T12:15:38Z")
“Have you ever seen the rain?” _Yes_. “Who’ll stop the rain?” _Beyond my capacity_. “Will you still love me tomorrow?” _Shut up and go to sleep_. ---
**Author:** ![jali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecae2f/32.png) [@jali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jali)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/10 "2006-05-26T12:27:12Z")
“How Much Is That Doggie In The Window?” (arf-arf) [article on the cost of puppies](http://www.canismajor.com/dog/price.html) ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/11 "2006-05-26T12:30:07Z")
Does Your Mother Know That You’re Out? \*My Mother’s Dead[/i[ Voulez-Vous? _No_ ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_Prize](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d2c977/32.png) [@Sir\_Prize](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_Prize)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/12 "2006-05-26T12:54:43Z")
“What is HIP?” Health Insurance Plan of New York “Why can’t this be love?” It’s not you. It’s me. “Why don’t we do it in the road?” OK! ---
**Author:** ![cosmosdan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@cosmosdan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cosmosdan)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/13 "2006-05-26T13:09:39Z")
“What kind of fool am I?” The kind that participates in these threads. ---
**Author:** ![thwartme](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@thwartme](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thwartme)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/14 "2006-05-26T13:09:44Z")
_Listen…_ Yes? _Do you want to know a secret?_ Sure. _Do you promise not to tell?_ Yep. I promise. _Woah oh oh oh… Closer._ Huh? _Let me whisper in your ear._ … alright. If you must. _Say the words you long to hear…_ And those would be…? _I’m in love with you!_ Crap! Not so loud! You’re talking right in my ear for pity’s sake. ---
**Author:** ![cosmosdan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@cosmosdan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cosmosdan)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/15 "2006-05-26T13:15:30Z")
“What’s new Pussycat?” Something in the litterbox. Get the scoop. “Whoooooaaaaa oooooaaaaa” Found the dead mouse huh? ---
**Author:** ![cosmosdan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@cosmosdan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cosmosdan)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/16 "2006-05-26T13:19:54Z")
“Why Can’t we be friends” Um… You always borrow money. All you ever talk about is Dungeons and Dragons. Your breath reeks. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/17 "2006-05-26T13:21:01Z")
> [@cosmosdan](#): > > “What’s new Pussycat?” > > Something in the litterbox. Get the scoop. > > “Whoooooaaaaa oooooaaaaa” > > Found the dead mouse huh? Winner! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![CookingWithGas](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cookingwithgas/32/485_2.png) [@CookingWithGas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CookingWithGas)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/18 "2006-05-26T13:28:27Z")
Who can it be knocking at my door? Who can it be now? Who can it be now? Who can it be now? Who can it be now? I don’t know, just answer the freaking door! ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/19 "2006-05-26T13:28:28Z")
Do ya do ya want my love, woman? \*Hmmm…what exactly does this entail on my part? Do ya do ya want my face (I need it) \*Heck no! Not unless the dog tears me up and I need a transplant. Even then, I might wanna look around, see what’s available. Do ya do ya want my mind \*Look, this is getting weird Do ya do ya want my love \*I think we should just be friends. ---
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/20 "2006-05-26T13:32:46Z")
Why are there so many songs about rainbows? I don’t know, 'cause they’re prety. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256.md?page=2)