# Answering questions in songs **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 25, 2006, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256 "2006-05-25T23:40:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![BlackHeart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c77e96/32.png) [@BlackHeart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackHeart)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/41 "2006-05-26T18:10:24Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Why do birds suddenly appear, every time you are near? > > Cause I stuff my crotch with birdseed. A guy requested this on a radio station once, and dedicated it to me. My answer to him was "Well, cuz you’re a worm? My song: Do ya wanna touch… (Gary Glitter’s chorus yells the answer before I get to answer) Yeah! “uhm…” Do ya wanna touch… (Gary Glitter’s chorus yells the answer before I get to answer, agian) Yeah! “Er…” Do ya wanna touch me there? (Gary Glitter’s chorus yells the answer before I get to answer, yet again!) Where? There! "Uh, I think they will keep you busy for a while. " Yeah woah yeah woah yeah yeah… (And Gary and chorus get it on.) ---
**Author:** ![cosmosdan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@cosmosdan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cosmosdan)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/42 "2006-05-26T18:14:54Z")
“Are you lonesome tonight?” No! “Do you miss me tonight?” NO! stop calling me “Are you sorry we drifted apart?” Look, it’s over, just move on PLEASE!! “DOes your memory stray , to a bright summer day?” That does it, I’m calling the cops…{click} {ring ring} Hello? “Do the chairs in your palor seem empty and bare?” Son of a …{click} ---
**Author:** ![ddgryphon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8c91f0/32.png) [@ddgryphon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ddgryphon)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/43 "2006-05-26T18:16:18Z")
Come on baby, where’s your guts? In the lower half of my torso – why, where’s yours? U wanna make love or what? Umm. . .what. Yes, I pick what, espeicially if it doesn’t involve you. ---
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/44 "2006-05-26T18:36:42Z")
_Have I told you lately that I love you?_ This is the tenth time today! _Have I told you there’s no-one above you?_ Yeah, that’s the line you use when you want sex. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/45 "2006-05-26T18:59:28Z")
> [@Sir Prize](#): > > “Why don’t we do it in the road?” “Because I’d get asphalt in my asscrack and I don’t want to die like a possum. Plus all those chickens would walk over us. It’d just be too weird. Now, the _bicycle path_, on the other hand…” ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/46 "2006-05-26T19:25:54Z")
Are you reelin’ in the years No, I’m reelin’ in a fish Stowin’ away the time? Yes, time in a bottle. Are you gatherin’ up the tears Crappy way to water my garden. Have you had enough of mine? More than enough ---
**Author:** ![Cerowyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/82dd89/32.png) [@Cerowyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cerowyn)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/47 "2006-05-26T19:52:00Z")
_Damn you, **Annie**!_ I was just listening to that song and came here to post those very questions. :: shakes fist :: ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/48 "2006-05-26T20:13:56Z")
[Lyoner Ritchie] Is it me you’re looking for? [/LR] Well, it depends. Are you customer service? ---
**Author:** ![BMax](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bmax/32/4267_2.png) [@BMax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMax)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/49 "2006-05-26T20:50:20Z")
Tell me, How am I supposed to live without you? Um, have you tried masturbating? It works for me. ---
**Author:** ![cosmosdan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@cosmosdan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cosmosdan)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/50 "2006-05-26T23:28:22Z")
_“Do you really want to hurt me?”_ Well, I didn’t spend $500 on all this keen leather for nothing? _Do you really want to make me cry?_ Cry hell, scream is more like it. \* Do you really want to hurt me?\* MAybe\*\* this\*\* {sound of whip cracking} is a clue!! ---
**Author:** ![cosmosdan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@cosmosdan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cosmosdan)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/51 "2006-05-26T23:33:16Z")
_“How long has this been going on?”_ precisely 51 posts next question. ---
**Author:** ![cosmosdan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@cosmosdan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cosmosdan)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/52 "2006-05-26T23:37:32Z")
_Tell me, How am I supposed to live without you?_ Well, …you’re **not**!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA {maniacal laughter} hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2006, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/53 "2006-05-26T23:47:38Z")
Q: _Would you stay if she promised you Heaven?_ A: No, but if she promised me $1,000,000.00, I could be persuaded to linger awhile… ---
**Author:** ![cosmosdan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@cosmosdan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cosmosdan)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2006, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/54 "2006-05-27T01:05:40Z")
_“Would you know my name if I saw you in Heaven?”_ Probably, but that’s no gaurentee I’d speak to you, or admit remembering if you spoke to me. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2006, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/55 "2006-05-27T03:33:11Z")
\*\*What’s it all about, Alfie? \*\* I have never been able to get over someone choosing to ask _anyone_ named **Alfie** that particular question. _I dunno. Curious, ain’t it?_ ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2006, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/56 "2006-05-27T04:22:27Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > Whatever happened to Fay Wray? > > _she got fucked by a 50-foot ape…_ Yeah, you see the size of the smile on that woman afterwards? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2006, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/57 "2006-05-27T04:37:40Z")
I always heard it as “Whatever happened to Fay Wray? [_She went apeshit!_]” But vive la RHPS difference. ---
**Author:** ![Manatee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/50afbb/32.png) [@Manatee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manatee)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2006, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/58 "2006-05-27T05:50:36Z")
“Who wrote the book of love?” Andreas Capellanus. ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2006, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/59 "2006-05-27T11:54:20Z")
**Do you LOOOOVE me** What? **Do you LOOOOVE me** Og, not so _loud_! **Do you LOOOOVE me** You’ve ruined your hearing, haven’t you - what with all the screaming you do. **Now that I can dance?!?** Shut up, show me the dancing, let me _think_ again, and I might be able to answer… ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2006, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/60 "2006-05-27T12:41:17Z")
Where have all the flowers gone? Into whorehouses Where have all the young girls gone? Into whorehouses Where have all the young boys gone? Into whorehouses Where have all the soldiers gone? Into whorehouses Repeat ad naseum [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256.md?page=4)