# Answering questions in songs **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 25, 2006, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256 "2006-05-25T23:40:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![cosmosdan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@cosmosdan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cosmosdan)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2006, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/61 "2006-05-27T13:10:11Z")
_“Is she really going out with him?”_ I think so. \* “Is she really gonna take him home tonight?”\* Look, I’ll call the NSA tomorrow and find out. okay? ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2006, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/62 "2006-05-27T16:48:57Z")
> [@Cerowyn](#): > > _Damn you, **Annie**!_ I was just listening to that song and came here to post those very questions. :: shakes fist :: FWIW, I originally thought these were the lyrics Are you living in the East? Are you stroliing away the time? Are you having a good feast? Do you have a diamond mine? I thought it was a tribute to someone striking it rich! Now excuse me while I kiss the guy. ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2006, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/63 "2006-05-27T17:07:35Z")
_I wanna know… Have you ever seen the rain coming down, on a sunny day?_ Amazingly, yes I have. Several times, actually. _Where have all the cowboys gone?_ The Wild West was pretty well wrapped up by 1918 or so, but there’s still a few guys in Montana and Wyoming who could probably pass muster, depending on what sort of qualities you look for in a cowboy (past non-gayness and non-eating of pudding, one assumes…) _Why does my heart feel so bad?_ Maybe something to do with all those pills and shit you take. Lay off the junk food, get some exercise, and if the symptoms persist, see a doctor… _Alice? Who the fuck is Alice?_ Alice is a popular female character in the daily syndicated comic strip _Dilbert_, famous for being the only female engineer of note at the company, and unleashing her Fist Of Death™ on people who incur her wrath. _Can you hear us, pumping on your stereo?_ Only when it’s turned on and this particular song is playing. _If you leave me, can I come too?_ Of course not- otherwise, I wouldn’t be leaving you, would I? _From my heart and from my hand, why don’t people understand (my intention)?_ Ah, the curse of the Mad Scientist… a bout of Evil Laughter ought to fix that right up! ---
**Author:** ![Amaranta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Amaranta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amaranta)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2006, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/64 "2006-05-27T23:07:40Z")
_Do ya think I’m sexy?_ No fuckin’ way, Rod, not now, not ever. \* Do ya wanna touch me?\* Joan! We barely know each other! At least buy me a drink first. \* How soon is now?\* Oooh, are we feeling all existential this morning? Now is now!\* Is it still me that makes you sweat? Am I who you think about in bed? When the lights are dim and your hands are shaking as you’re sliding off your dress? \* Well, uh… yes, actually. ---
**Author:** ![Eureka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/74df32/32.png) [@Eureka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eureka)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2006, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/65 "2006-05-27T23:20:17Z")
Were you there when they crucified my Lord? _Um, no, that was almost 2000 years ago, Do I look that old to you?_ Were you there when they nailed him to the tree? - Well, unless you count when I was hiding behind the curtain at the Passion Play\* Were you there when the sun refused to shine? - Well, I’ve been around on some pretty cloudy days, some pretty rainy days, and some dark nights. Does that count?\* Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh, sometimes it causes me to tremble, tremble, tremble Were you there when they laid him in the tomb? - No. Not two thousand years ago, and as for at the Passion Play, I assume they took him out of sight, unrolled him from the sheet, and gave him a chance to put his clothes on for the next run through. No tomb involved\* ---
**Author:** ![Kizarvexius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/da6949/32.png) [@Kizarvexius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kizarvexius)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2006, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/66 "2006-05-28T17:46:41Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Where have all the flowers gone? > Into whorehouses > > Where have all the young girls gone? > Into whorehouses > > Where have all the young boys gone? > Into whorehouses > > Where have all the soldiers gone? > Into whorehouses > > Repeat ad naseum That is SOOOOOO evil. I love it. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2006, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/67 "2006-05-28T22:50:14Z")
_Do you know where you’re going to?_ Yeah–the bathroom is first door on the left, isn’t it? _Do you like the things that Life is showing you?_ Is it still publishing? I thought it was long gone. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2006, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/68 "2006-05-29T01:49:07Z")
\*What’s your name? Who’s your daddy? Is he rich like me? Has he taken Any time To show you what you need to live? \* Let me guess. A philosophy major on his first date, right? ---
**Author:** ![Ducktail](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/43a26b/32.png) [@Ducktail](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ducktail)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2006, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/69 "2006-05-29T02:02:35Z")
“Don’t cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?” Whoa, honey, just put your shirt back on… “Don’t cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?” _surreptitiously signals for the bouncer_ ---
**Author:** ![Ducktail](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/43a26b/32.png) [@Ducktail](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ducktail)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2006, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/70 "2006-05-29T02:03:48Z")
(For the record, I hate that song with a passion.) ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2006, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/71 "2006-05-29T13:07:48Z")
Should I bring him down? (No, just go down on him) Should I scream and shout? (No, but he will be) Should I speak of love? (Don’t talk with your mouth full) Let my feelings out? I never thought I’d come to this (He never thought he’d come like that) What’s it all about? Don’t you think it’s rather funny I should be in this position (On your knees, woman) ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2006, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/72 "2006-05-29T14:20:12Z")
> [@Spoons](#): > > _Do you know where you’re going to?_ > > Yeah–the bathroom is first door on the left, isn’t it? No, there is a bathroom on the right. ---
**Author:** ![mr.jp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/48db29/32.png) [@mr.jp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mr.jp)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2006, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/73 "2006-05-29T14:22:00Z")
Joan Jett: If god had a name, what would it be? The tetragrammaton. In all his glory, what would you ask if you had just one question? Can you create a stone that is so heavy that you yourself could not lift it? Offspring: Have you ever been at some place, recognizing everybodys face, until you realized that there was noone there you knew. No, man. You should get help. Tool: Liar, lawyer - mirror, for you what’s the difference? ehm, can I hear the question again? ---
**Author:** ![cosmosdan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@cosmosdan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cosmosdan)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2006, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/74 "2006-05-29T14:27:41Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Should I bring him down? (No, just go down on him) > Should I scream and shout? (No, but he will be) > Should I speak of love? (Don’t talk with your mouth full) > Let my feelings out? > I never thought I’d come to this (He never thought he’d come like that) > What’s it all about? > Don’t you think it’s rather funny I should be in this position (On your knees, woman) Oh My…Nasty and Sacrilegious in the same song. Gotta love that. ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2006, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/75 "2006-05-29T14:41:18Z")
_Do You Know What Time it is?[_ Sure. It’s 8:40, PST. ---
**Author:** ![marque\_elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71c47a/32.png) [@marque\_elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marque_elf)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2006, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/76 "2006-05-29T16:48:29Z")
Q: When will I be loved? A: That depends. How much money you got? Q: How can people be so heartless? A: Its less wearing than caring. Q: How can people be so cruel? A: Everybody needs a hobby. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2006, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/77 "2006-05-29T20:28:16Z")
> [@mr. jp](#): > > Joan Jett Osborne. Carry on. ---
**Author:** ![Hoopy\_Frood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoopy_frood/32/8452_2.png) [@Hoopy\_Frood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoopy_Frood)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2006, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/78 "2006-05-30T01:03:36Z")
Q: What would you do if I sang out of tune–would you stand up and walk out on me? A: Actually, I was thinking of beating you with a lead pipe until you shutup, but I guess your suggestion works just as well and means less of a mess to clean up later. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2006, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/79 "2006-05-30T01:35:58Z")
**Well…How did I get here?** Didn’t I hear a large automobile pull up, just a minute ago? Not yours? **How do I work this?** What, the door? Turn the knob on your side. No, I know you don’t have a knob on your side! I meant on your side of the door. **Where is that large automobile?** So it _was_ yours. There it is, still just outside where you left it. **What is that beautiful house?** The one down the highway? That’s the Bates place, right next to the motel. It must be nice in there, we never see the guests come back by here once they check in. **Where does that highway go to?** I just told you: the Bates motel. Try and follow the conversation here. **Am I right?..Am I wrong?** That would seem to cover all the possibilities, so I’ll go with a Yes on that one. **MY GOD!..WHAT HAVE I DONE?** Oh hi Norman, I didn’t recognise you in that wig. But if you don’t know, how would I have any idea? BTW did you see that young girl who came through here yesterday? A nice single girl like that, you should take her out. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2006, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256/80 "2006-05-30T01:42:56Z")
_“Wouldn’t it be fun to ring the funeral bell/on our civilization! Watch it burn in HELL!”_ Why yes, actually. That would be loverly. _Fiiiiiiire!_ [kazoo noise] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-questions-in-songs/358256.md?page=5)