# Answering the phone **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 28, 2024, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-the-phone/1012261 "2024-12-28T14:17:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2024, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-the-phone/1012261/61 "2024-12-30T07:13:36Z")
I get zero spam calls on my cell phone. My wife had her first spam call since we moved back to Japan almost two years ago, and it was a scammer. We rarely get wrong number calls anymore. The vast majority of personal calls using the LINE app I mentioned before so the number of times you need to input numbers is a small fraction of personal calls. ---
**Author:** ![scabpicker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scabpicker/32/8268_2.png) [@scabpicker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scabpicker)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2024, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-the-phone/1012261/62 "2024-12-30T14:34:44Z")
> [@GaryM](#): > > I often go with Hola! just to add confusion. Heheh, for the last few years of using a landline without caller ID I answered the phone “Bueno”. I have a distinctive voice and am well known as an idiot, so anyone who knew me would hear my voice and realize they were talking to me, and proceed in English. If you didn’t know me and were a telemarketer worth your salt, you’d proceed in Spanish. These days, unless I’m on call, my ringer is off. So I’m unlikely to answer at all, and you will need to leave a message (and actually state what you are calling about) if you want me to reply. If I’m on call, I’ll answer with basically “This is scabpicker.” ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2024, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-the-phone/1012261/63 "2024-12-30T20:00:25Z")
A significant portion of the unknown # calls that I get never leave a VM & a significant portion of those that do are Indian headhunters. I suspect it’s the connection from India or maybe just that they are soft spoken but between the volume & their poor English it’s hard to understand a lot of them. It’s not that I’m opposed to a headhunter calling me it’s just that so much of what they’re calling about it crap that I’m not interested in, like a contract position…in another state. Send me an email about the position, & for Og’s sake right up front I want to know about it - location, whether it’s FT or contract, & job title so I can see in preview if I want to delete it. I don’t care that you work for a minority owned company that has been in business for _x_ years & that you home school service puppies in your spare time. Treat me like Joe Friday - just the facts, ma’am! Unless I’m expecting a call, anything that comes up with no name in Caller ID almost always doesn’t get answered; the only exception is if I’m in a playful mood & feel like answering in another language or something. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2024, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-the-phone/1012261/64 "2024-12-30T20:49:49Z")
I have on occasion done a Calvin. [![](https://i.imgur.com/ioE6YOK.jpeg) ](https://i.imgur.com/ioE6YOK.jpeg) ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2024, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-the-phone/1012261/65 "2024-12-30T21:12:25Z")
> [@Peter\_Morris](#): > > “What fresh hell is this?” “Ghostbusters, whaddya want?” ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2024, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-the-phone/1012261/66 "2024-12-30T21:13:20Z")
> [@Peter\_Morris](#): > > I have on occasion done a Calvin. THAT’S where I got it! Couldn’t remember. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2024, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-the-phone/1012261/67 "2024-12-30T21:32:47Z")
I get a lot of calls for “Joseph Encenias” on my cellphone, despite having it for the past nine years. Usually, that’s collection agencies or legal firms looking to serve him. About once or twice every month or so, it’s callers from a specific town in New Mexico asking if “he [Joseph] sells tires.” My normal traffic though, are calls from a distinct set of towns around the country. So, _ **if** _ I answer the phone (depending on circumstances) I’ve got two basic answers: - A chipper, upbeat “_This is Trip!_”, or - A flat, brusque, “_Unclassified line, go ahead._” The latter seems to help throw off people that don’t know who they’re calling. Note: I’m not sure if the tires thing is code for someone wanting to buy or sell drugs. Normally calls from _that_ town go straight to voicemail, and are often re-dialed. But . . . there are a lot of older-sounding senior-citizen types calling for tires as of late. Tripler Joe, if you’re reading this, I think your abuelo Mike wants a set of 185/60R13s, and a dime bag. ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2024, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-the-phone/1012261/68 "2024-12-30T22:00:21Z")
> [@solost](#): > > Back when I had an office job with a direct line that rang a lot, I’d answer “solost speaking”, saying my first name. I go one better and I answer my work phone as “[Company name], Hogarth speaking”. Even then, wrong number callers still ask if this is Joe’s house or whatever. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2024, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-the-phone/1012261/69 "2024-12-30T23:14:50Z")
IME a lot of workers answer their phone with some variation along the lines of CompanyName, DepartmentName, FirstName, how can I help you? All delivered at 200 syllables per second while still pulling the phone up to their face or still reaching for the “answer” button. Which results in me hearing / comprehending exactly none of it before the “help you” part and I’m not even 100% sure the word was actually “help”. So the first words out of my mouth are: “Please repeat all of that now that I can hear you”. Annoyance often ensues at their end. Don’t be that person. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2024, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-the-phone/1012261/70 "2024-12-30T23:46:19Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > So the first words out of my mouth are: “Please repeat all of that now that I can hear you”. Annoyance often ensues at their end. That’s rude. You know what number you called - just ask them the question you called to ask. You don’t need to enforce proper voice modulation for people you don’t employ. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2024, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-the-phone/1012261/71 "2024-12-30T23:50:07Z")
> [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](#): > > Has anyone here adopted the gruff “Talk to me” from The Fugitive, when the one-armed guy answers the phone? “Ahoy” died in birth, and “Hello” has had a good run. Time for a change. What I think is an interesting bit of history is being hinted at here. When the telephone was first invented, there was no standard for how one should answer the telephone. Ahoy was Alexander Graham Bell’s suggestion, while Thomas Edison thought hello was better. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2024, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-the-phone/1012261/72 "2024-12-31T00:16:13Z")
> [@Munch](#): > > > [@LSLGuy](#): > > > > So the first words out of my mouth are: “Please repeat all of that now that I can hear you”. Annoyance often ensues at their end. > > That’s rude. You know what number you called - just ask them the question you called to ask. You don’t need to enforce proper voice modulation for people you don’t employ. How about I want to confirm I have the right department? And if this is actually who is taking care of me, not just a receptionist / phone call transferrer I want their name for my call notes and so I can thank them by name at the end? Not quite so rude. If (part of) their sssigned tasks are to answer the phone that way, they are failing unless it is intelligible ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2024, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-the-phone/1012261/73 "2024-12-31T00:27:37Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > Not quite so rude. No, it’s still rude, especially as you originally worded it. “I have a question about X, can you help me with that?” There - now you’re being polite, they don’t have to complete their intro again and the conversation is progressing. Answering phones all day can be a shitty job - it definitely is if they’re rushing through the mandatory intro. Let’s all be kind to people with shitty jobs. ---
**Author:** ![scabpicker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scabpicker/32/8268_2.png) [@scabpicker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scabpicker)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2024, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-the-phone/1012261/74 "2024-12-31T01:10:32Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > So the first words out of my mouth are: “Please repeat all of that now that I can hear you”. Annoyance often ensues at their end. > > Don’t be that person. Hehehe, I wouldn’t call it rude, but you’d get “This is scabpicker” repeated politely as if it were a blank stare. If you called me on my work number, I’d expect you to know who I am and why you were calling me instead of someone else. At the same time, I’d wonder why you thought your problem was so important it needed a phone call and not just a text message over the company’s chat system, or maybe an email. ---
**Author:** ![Eric1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3bc359/32.png) [@Eric1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eric1)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2024, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-the-phone/1012261/75 "2024-12-31T21:38:59Z")
I like your phone tip “I’m looking for info about X, can you help me with that?” It’s a rare thing for me to call from that position but will remember to do so. ---
**Author:** ![Strenger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecae2f/32.png) [@Strenger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Strenger)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2024, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-the-phone/1012261/76 "2024-12-31T22:22:33Z")
Depends who’s calling? “Yello!” “Talk to me!” “You are five by five and in the pipe!” “Who loves ya, baby?” “McCloud!” Eh…for a known business…a doctor/dentist office, either “Hello!” or “This is \_\_\_\_!” is fine. Anyone else? They don’t deserve the pleasant tones of my voice. “We’re sorry, the voice mailbox of \_\_\_\_ \_\_\_\_\_ is full.” Or whatever it says. Or possibly a gruff, “Yeah?” ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2024, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-the-phone/1012261/77 "2024-12-31T23:20:02Z")
“This is Johanna.” Anything else is pointless and superfluous. I would not pick up in the first place unless the caller was someone who had legit business with me and would know my name. ---
**Author:** ![E-DUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/e-dub/32/403_2.png) [@E-DUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-DUB)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2025, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-the-phone/1012261/78 "2025-03-21T20:49:02Z")
Someone reads Harlen Coben. Hamster sandwiches with mayonaise _are_ delicious. And someone likes Dorothy Parker. ---
**Author:** ![PatrickLondon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/patricklondon/32/4422_2.png) [@PatrickLondon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatrickLondon)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2025, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-the-phone/1012261/79 "2025-03-22T11:06:10Z")
> [@Strenger](#): > > Or possibly a gruff, “Yeah?” Or, if likely to be a spammer, a panicky whisper, “It’s done, but there’s blood everywhere” ---
**Author:** ![SCAdian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scadian/32/3292_2.png) [@SCAdian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SCAdian)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2025, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-the-phone/1012261/80 "2025-03-22T12:46:44Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > 90% of all unidentified calls I get are delivery people checking to see whether I’m home and asking me to buzz them in. That would require my having given them my phone number. Back when I was young and single and didn’t have caller ID, I usually answered with one of: “Iowa Dinosaur Protection League, can I help you?” “Palace of the Imperial Fudd, Fudd Junior speaking.” “Martian Embassy, Undersecretary Skleewonk speaking. May I help you.” Then there are the people whose machine starts talking as soon as my phone picks up and tells them to leave a message. My voicemail message ends, recording begins, and the entire message I get consists of half a phone number (possibly followed by “Thank you”). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-the-phone/1012261.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-the-phone/1012261.md?page=5)