# Answering your cell phone when you're not able to chat **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 24, 2009, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-your-cell-phone-when-youre-not-able-to-chat/487192 "2009-02-24T14:51:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-your-cell-phone-when-youre-not-able-to-chat/487192/21 "2009-02-24T19:04:12Z")
My husband’s company is family-owned and extremely family-oriented. His boss says **if your spouse calls, you answer**. Even in a meeting with a client. But I don’t ever want to interrupt a meeting, so if I call when my husband is busy, he knows that I will tell him right away if it’s urgent. Otherwise, he says he’s in a meeting and will call me back. I had to call him once to tell him his mother was in an accident; he started to tell me he was busy and I shortstopped him. He knew I wouldn’t have done it just to chat. ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-your-cell-phone-when-youre-not-able-to-chat/487192/22 "2009-02-24T19:15:23Z")
> [@Santo\_Rugger](#): > > Also, where is Avogadro’s galaxy? I think **Anne** is making a mountain out of a mole hill. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-your-cell-phone-when-youre-not-able-to-chat/487192/23 "2009-02-24T19:17:10Z")
> [@Anne\_Neville](#): > > I hate voice mail. There are too many hoops to jump through to get your messages. I want voice mail that works like my answering machine- press one button, get your messages. My voice mail is programmed so all I have to do is hold down my 1 key for a second, it auto dials and goes right into the message. No hoops, no buttons, no anything. I have ATT and I can’t imagine you’d have trouble setting yours up like this with any other carrier. Oh, and if it does, for some odd reason, make you listen to old messages, you just press one button to delete it or one to save it for later. That’s not a terrible amount of button smashing or anything. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-your-cell-phone-when-youre-not-able-to-chat/487192/24 "2009-02-24T19:26:19Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > Can’t help but be curious about this. What is it about voicemail that you hate so? What **Annie** said. It’s not just voicemail, I also loathe call waiting. I’m happy to talk when the phone is ringing more often than not, but when the phone is not ringing, I don’t think about checking the voicemail bug. Also, I always fatfingering the switch to the waiting call and end up losing both. For me, reality is whatever is in front of my nose. ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-your-cell-phone-when-youre-not-able-to-chat/487192/25 "2009-02-24T19:50:47Z")
> [@VunderBob](#): > > t’s not just voicemail, I also loathe call waiting. Then don’t use call waiting. It can be disabled. Personallly I hate call waiting because using it would force me to be an asshole. I would either have to say: “Hang on a sec… Sorry, I got a call on the other line and you not as important as the other guy. Even though I was talking to you first, you’re just not a priority in my world. So I’ll have to call you back.” Or I’d have to say: “Oh, if I’d known it was _you_ I’d have kept talking to the first guy and let your call go to voicemail. You aren’t worth interrupting my first call, so I’m going back to it.” Back in the day when I had to walk uphill to school in the wind and driving snow and dinosaurs roamed the earth, if people couldn’t reach you (either due to a busy signal or no answer) and it was important, they would call back. And if it wasn’t really all that important after all, they could _wait_. I’m amazed at how many “important” things must get a response right away. And by “important” I mean like he following: I had a jackass of an ex-girlfriend call my number several times in a row, really late at night, and so I expected an actual emergency. She had to know: “What’s the word for someone when the person seems to be knowledgeable and has credentials and is believable?” and for some reason she had to know RIGHT NOW and “it would take too long” to look it up herself rather than try to call me over and over for a half-hour. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-your-cell-phone-when-youre-not-able-to-chat/487192/26 "2009-02-24T19:52:32Z")
> [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](#): > > Then don’t use call waiting. It can be disabled. Personallly I hate call waiting because using it would force me to be an asshole. Both are disabled. ---
**Author:** ![Jayn\_Newell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Jayn\_Newell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jayn_Newell)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-your-cell-phone-when-youre-not-able-to-chat/487192/27 "2009-02-24T20:07:06Z")
> [@VunderBob](#): > > If I don’t want to be disturbed at all, that’s what the power button is for. Too true. I’ve used that handy little feature on occasion when I needed a good night’s sleep. If you’re in a situation where it would be inappropriate to have your phone go off, at least mute the bugger (the first time I brought a cell phone to class, I remembered to mute mine–the professor, however, didn’t). I have caller ID, I’ll either call back when I can, or ignore you completely. Or you can try again later. And count me in as another who hates voice mail. I’ve never activated it, even when I had it–people calling my dorm room weren’t always sure they had the right number because the message from the previous tenant was still there. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-your-cell-phone-when-youre-not-able-to-chat/487192/28 "2009-02-24T20:11:21Z")
I have no problem ignoring the phone. That said, certain persons I always answer it for. If it’s my eldest sister, I’ll answer it at work because her calling during work hours means it is an actual emergency–Dad’s in the hospital or some such. If it’s my wife, pretty much the same thing. I don’t understand not using voice mail, though. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-your-cell-phone-when-youre-not-able-to-chat/487192/29 "2009-02-24T20:24:41Z")
I am not entirely sure if I have voicemail on this phone, and if I do, it certainly is too much trouble to activate it or try to figure it out. _I just don’t care_. If it’s that important, e-mail me, I’m way more inclined to answer quickly. Oh, and I screen all of my calls at home too. Generally I won’t pick up the phone at all. I hate the phone, it’s an infernal device, and is only there for MY convenience, not the world’s. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-your-cell-phone-when-youre-not-able-to-chat/487192/30 "2009-02-24T20:25:01Z")
> [@Anne\_Neville](#): > > I hate voice mail. There are too many hoops to jump through to get your messages. I want voice mail that works like my answering machine- press one button, get your messages. My voice mail even makes me go through messages that are about to be deleted before it will let me have my new messages. I hate this with the fire of 6.02 \* 10[sup]23[/sup] galaxies. I want my new messages NOW, dammit, not after I have to go through saved messages. > > Most of the calls I get on my cell are Mr. Neville saying something like “I’ll be home in about 45 minutes”. Answering the phone and having him say that is quicker than dealing with voice mail. > > That said, I do turn off my phone in meetings, unless I forget to. If I forget, I don’t answer it if it rings, though. This applies even if there is no explicit “no cell phones in meetings” rule. I consider “no cell phones in meetings, movies, theatrical or musical performances, talks, or religious services” to be a basic rule that is always in force. Texting, my friend. I hate voice mail too - but text is gorgeous for this purpose. “Running late, go ahead and sit down.” “I ordered a pizza. Come if you want.” “The number you needed is 555-5555.” Anything you don’t really need an urgent response, if any, is what texting is for, and it doesn’t bother people at all. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-your-cell-phone-when-youre-not-able-to-chat/487192/31 "2009-02-24T20:34:03Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > Texting, my friend. I hate voice mail too - but text is gorgeous for this purpose. “Running late, go ahead and sit down.” “I ordered a pizza. Come if you want.” “The number you needed is 555-5555.” Anything you don’t really need an urgent response, if any, is what texting is for, and it doesn’t bother people at all. Concur. I never thought I’d be a text-messager, but its amazing facility for simple, utilitarian messages like “on my way” and “store. need?” is unmatched. It’s also great for sending messages like “I’m tickling you right now. Oojie! Oojie! Oojie!” but that’s a different thread. ---
**Author:** ![chrissysissystar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5e9695/32.png) [@chrissysissystar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chrissysissystar)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-your-cell-phone-when-youre-not-able-to-chat/487192/32 "2009-02-24T22:01:13Z")
I work in phone support and that is the reason why the only time I answer my phone (either cell or home) is if it’s family. I’m on the phone enough during the day. Why would I want to subject myself to more of it on my personal time? The cell phone stays on vibrate permanently - the buzz is loud enough to get my attention if need be and the house phone has caller id so I can ignore at will. Makes one of my close friends insane but he’s learned to live with it. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-your-cell-phone-when-youre-not-able-to-chat/487192/33 "2009-02-24T22:09:50Z")
> [@Sigmagirl](#): > > My husband’s company is family-owned and extremely family-oriented. His boss says **if your spouse calls, you answer**. Even in a meeting with a client. Weird. There’s family-oriented and there’s officious. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-your-cell-phone-when-youre-not-able-to-chat/487192/34 "2009-02-24T22:14:48Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > Weird. There’s family-oriented and there’s officious. :: shrugging :: I worked at a car dealership like that once. I was a SALESMAN and expected to answer the phone if my family called, even if I were with family. I think it was a deliberate attempt to humanize us in the eyes of our customers. ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-your-cell-phone-when-youre-not-able-to-chat/487192/35 "2009-02-24T22:55:31Z")
> [@VunderBob](#): > > I hate voicemail, and refuse to activate it. If ONLY! I have a standard Samsung T Mobile slide phone is there anyway \*\*I \*\*can deactivate my voicemail? ---
**Author:** ![Cliffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cliffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cliffy)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-your-cell-phone-when-youre-not-able-to-chat/487192/36 "2009-02-24T23:06:02Z")
I hat when people do this. What the fuck is the point of you acknowledging that I called if we cannot have the conversation I’m calling to have? If you give me your VM, I can sketch why I need to talk to you. But when you answer and say you can’t talk, then I’m screwed. I’m still on the hook to communicate whatever I wanted to communicate, but I can’t just call back; I have to wait some indeterminate amount of time. Ugh. –Cliffy ---
**Author:** ![tr0psn4j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@tr0psn4j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tr0psn4j)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-your-cell-phone-when-youre-not-able-to-chat/487192/37 "2009-02-24T23:39:47Z")
If I know a person is going to call me back a few times in a row, I’ll pick up the first time and say “can’t talk, bye” then hang up so fast I don’t even hear their response. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2009, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-your-cell-phone-when-youre-not-able-to-chat/487192/38 "2009-02-24T23:50:30Z")
> [@Cliffy](#): > > I hat when people do this. What the fuck is the point of you acknowledging that I called if we cannot have the conversation I’m calling to have? And if you are the habit of answering when you can’t talk, don’t compound it by \*\*acting like you can talk \*\*, letting me get started, and then saying “Actually I’m in the middle of something, can I call you back?” :smack: ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2009, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-your-cell-phone-when-youre-not-able-to-chat/487192/39 "2009-02-25T01:43:06Z")
My clients would call me on mobile, sometimes for stuff that is actually urgent / needs an immediate answer. Even if in a meeting I would answer straight away and ask if it was urgent. Naturally I would excuse myself first though. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2009, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-your-cell-phone-when-youre-not-able-to-chat/487192/40 "2009-02-25T02:56:17Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > What boggles me even more is that the person running the meeting didn’t stop and instruct the person to turn off his or her phone after the first incident. She was sitting in the back, and would duck down and answer quietly. It was just the fact that I was sitting by her that I knew what was going on. I don’t think the person running the meeting even realized what she was doing. > [@KneadToKnow](#): > > It’s also great for sending messages like “I’m tickling you right now. Oojie! Oojie! Oojie!” but that’s a different thread. Waaaaay more than I needed to know! 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-your-cell-phone-when-youre-not-able-to-chat/487192.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/answering-your-cell-phone-when-youre-not-able-to-chat/487192.md?page=3)