# Anthrax Jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 17, 2001, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anthrax-jokes/87978 "2001-10-17T14:05:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anthrax-jokes/87978/1 "2001-10-17T14:05:03Z")
Poor taste maybe but the pancake joke was just too good not to share. [http://www.nypost.com/news/regionalnews/31979.htm](http://www.nypost.com/news/regionalnews/31979.htm) "Over the past week, Jay Leno, David Letterman and Howard Stern have all been ranting and raving about it. “The anthrax scare in Florida might have came from an intern. That later was found just to be a rumor started by Hillary to scare Bill,” Leno quipped in a recent monologue. “The scare is so big that Whitney Houston will no longer open envelopes containing white powder,” he continued. The Internet is also packed with disaster jokes - like the one about the guy who goes in for a checkup and is told he’s got anthrax. “I’m going to put you in the hospital and on a diet of pancakes,” the doctor says. “Why pancakes?” his patient asks. “Because that’s only thing we could figure out to slide under your door.” ---
**Author:** ![SweetLilKitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@SweetLilKitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SweetLilKitty)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anthrax-jokes/87978/2 "2001-10-17T14:09:12Z")
OMG! I heard the funniest thing yesterday, a friend was telling me how this lady was concerned about this AMTRAK virus going around. I swear I almost fell on the floor I was laughing so hard. What is she afraid of, Public Transit? ---
**Author:** ![SteverinoAlaReno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb8c5e/32.png) [@SteverinoAlaReno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteverinoAlaReno)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anthrax-jokes/87978/3 "2001-10-17T14:54:36Z")
…but I laughed till my sides ached when I read this: [http://foxnews.com/story/0,2933,36647,00.html](http://foxnews.com/story/0,2933,36647,00.html) ---
**Author:** ![Elvis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/958977/32.png) [@Elvis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elvis)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anthrax-jokes/87978/4 "2001-10-17T15:11:10Z")
I don’t have a cite, but I read yesterday that in a suburb of Chicago, someone called in a hazmat team to investigate a suspicious green substance on a street. Turned out to be guacamole. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anthrax-jokes/87978/5 "2001-10-17T20:36:17Z")
Another WTF [newsitem](http://www.fayettevillenc.com/obj_stories/2001/oct/n17sign.shtml). What kind of neighborhood is **Anthrax Street** in? What were the city planners thinking? [sub]“Can you tell me how to get to Anthrax Street?” “Go north along Tuberculosis Avenue. Two blocks past Pulmonary Aspergillus Crescent. You can’t miss it.”[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Justin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/3ab097/32.png) [@Justin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anthrax-jokes/87978/6 "2001-10-17T20:58:41Z")
reminds me of what my grandma said. she heard that “mad-da Mosine” (what she calls sadam hussein) was going to start dropping amtracks on us. …yeah…there going to drop trains from the sky…I’d have to see that one. ---
**Author:** ![Agrippina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8797f3/32.png) [@Agrippina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agrippina)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anthrax-jokes/87978/7 "2001-10-17T21:45:39Z")
In Kansas City some guy panicked over what he thought was Anthrax. It turned out to be sawdust in his yard. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anthrax-jokes/87978/8 "2001-10-17T22:01:18Z")
_“Train-drops keep fallin’ on my head…”_ sub[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![MoodIndigo1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e8c25b/32.png) [@MoodIndigo1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MoodIndigo1)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2001, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anthrax-jokes/87978/9 "2001-10-17T22:13:30Z")
> [@](#): > > Another WTF newsitem. What kind of neighborhood is Anthrax Street in? What were the city planners thinking? I guess some of the city planners liked the band? By the way, it’s interesting to note what the official band site has to say about the events and their name. [http://anthrax.com/nfws.htm](http://anthrax.com/nfws.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anthrax-jokes/87978/10 "2001-10-18T01:22:58Z")
> [@](#): > > FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: > > In light of current events, we are changing the name of the band to something more friendly, “Basket Full Of Puppies.” Oh my god. They _are_ cool, after all. Who knew? ---
**Author:** ![Joe\_Cool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecb155/32.png) [@Joe\_Cool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joe_Cool)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anthrax-jokes/87978/11 "2001-10-18T01:43:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Larry Mudd \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: > > > > In light of current events, we are changing the name of the band to something more friendly, “Basket Full Of Puppies.” > > Oh my god. They _are_ cool, after all. Who knew?\*\* Yeah, Scott Ian (the guitarist and the one who started the band) called the Howard Stern show the other morning and said another possible name was “Gary is a horse-toothed Jackass”. That band is beyond cool. 😃 The people panicking like this are, no offense (well, actually I guess I do mean offense. there’s really no nice way to say this), complete fucking idiots. These must be the grandchildren of the people who started rioting and committing suicide in 1938 when Orson Welles did “War of the Worlds” on CBS radio. Sawdust? Guacamole?! Sheesh. makes you almost wish it really _was_ anthrax for these morons. A pair of thong underwear? Man, people are dumber than dirt. Ok, I’m done ranting now. Sorry! ---
**Author:** ![cantatrice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/45deac/32.png) [@cantatrice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cantatrice)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anthrax-jokes/87978/12 "2001-10-18T01:43:22Z")
Well, it’s a good thing that our president has plenty of experience with the inhalation of white powder. ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anthrax-jokes/87978/13 "2001-10-18T01:43:44Z")
Apparently, _anthrax_ is the latest street name for cocaine in the UK. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anthrax-jokes/87978/14 "2001-10-18T02:10:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Joe\_Cool \* > The people panicking like this are **…** complete fucking idiots. Amen to that. I was trying to find a link to the story about the woman who was hospitalized (for a panic attack) after opening a complimentary package of panty-hose that had some excess “packing-powder” [sup](whatever that is… don’t buy nylons enough to notice,)[/sup] in it. A websearch for Anthrax + Nylons turns up a lot of folks who have both _Anthrax_ and _The Nylons_ in their CD collections. Sick, sick people, to be sure. ---
**Author:** ![Kaje](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f04885/32.png) [@Kaje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaje)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anthrax-jokes/87978/15 "2001-10-18T02:45:18Z")
Well…today in lab when asked about what possible solutes were in the tap water we were using for the experiment he said “Well, minerals, fluoride, i dunno maybe some anthrax…but nothing that will affect your results” He later appologized… what pansies ---
**Author:** ![lucwarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e19adc/32.png) [@lucwarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lucwarm)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anthrax-jokes/87978/16 "2001-10-18T03:34:10Z")
I do believe that “anthrax” derives from the same root as . . . **anthracite** :eek: ---
**Author:** ![dunne\_u.wurrie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9fc29f/32.png) [@dunne\_u.wurrie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dunne_u.wurrie)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anthrax-jokes/87978/17 "2001-10-18T04:07:51Z")
> [@](#): > > **there’s really no nice way to say this), complete fucking idiots. These must be the grandchildren of the people who started rioting and committing suicide in 1938 when Orson Welles did “War of the Worlds” on CBS radio.** * * * Huh? “War of the Worlds” wasn’t real? Damn. ---
**Author:** ![Katisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bcef8e/32.png) [@Katisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katisha)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anthrax-jokes/87978/18 "2001-10-18T07:02:37Z")
“Welcome, gentle sir knight! Welcome to the Castle Anthrax!” “The Castle Anthrax?” “Yes…oh, it’s not a very good name, is it? Oh, but we are nice and we shall attend to your every need…” And now I’m going to get smites from everyone posting in that Python thread that showed up in the Pit… :eek: 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 9:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anthrax-jokes/87978/19 "2001-10-18T09:08:32Z")
**lucwarm** , that was red hot! ---
**Author:** ![lucwarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e19adc/32.png) [@lucwarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lucwarm)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anthrax-jokes/87978/20 "2001-10-18T18:13:53Z")
Thanks 🙂 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anthrax-jokes/87978.md?page=2)