# Anti-evolutionary disbelief (“I’m not descended from monkeys.”) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 22, 2014, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-evolutionary-disbelief-i-m-not-descended-from-monkeys/686716 "2014-04-22T20:47:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![robby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robby/32/11048_2.png) [@robby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robby)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-evolutionary-disbelief-i-m-not-descended-from-monkeys/686716/21 "2014-04-23T01:57:36Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > So why are there still monkeys? If I’m descended from Europeans, why are there still Europeans? ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-evolutionary-disbelief-i-m-not-descended-from-monkeys/686716/22 "2014-04-23T02:36:53Z")
> [@marshmallow](#): > > Forget evolution. These headaches were going on back when Linnaeus had the audacity to classify us as animals, let alone simians. > > As for the OP’s question, you often see stuff like “life didn’t come from slime!” or similar. A lot of life **is** slime. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-evolutionary-disbelief-i-m-not-descended-from-monkeys/686716/23 "2014-04-23T02:42:23Z")
I’m descended from monkeys. My mother is a monkey, as was my father. For that matter, I’m also three monkeys’ uncle. One could, of course, be more specific. All of the monkeys in question are Old World monkeys. If one wishes to be more specific yet, they’re all apes. And for a very great degree of specificity, one might say that they’re all from the single most numerous species of ape, Homo sapiens. But they’re still all monkeys. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-evolutionary-disbelief-i-m-not-descended-from-monkeys/686716/24 "2014-04-23T03:14:37Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > “I’m not descended from sponges.”? Unless you live in a pineapple under the sea. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Esox\_Lucius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/848f3c/32.png) [@Esox\_Lucius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esox_Lucius)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-evolutionary-disbelief-i-m-not-descended-from-monkeys/686716/25 "2014-04-23T04:55:03Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > So why are there still monkeys? And why is there still clay? ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-evolutionary-disbelief-i-m-not-descended-from-monkeys/686716/26 "2014-04-23T07:37:05Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > No we didn’t. > > Amphibians, yes. But not reptiles. Sauropsids (reptiles and birds) and synapsids (whose remaining descendants are the mammals) both descended from basal amniotes, which may have resembled lizards but were not, strictly speaking, reptiles. Okay, try convincing Victorians and Young Earthers of _that_ then. 🙂 Two monkeys lived in a cage at the zoo. One of them just finished reading Darwin’s _Origin of the Species,_ which he then attempted to describe to his cage-mate. The other monkey, incredulous, asked: “You mean to say that _I’m my keeper’s brother?_” ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-evolutionary-disbelief-i-m-not-descended-from-monkeys/686716/27 "2014-04-23T11:36:57Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > “I’m not descended from sponges.”? > [@kanicbird](#): > > I’ve actually head this one. Probably a misremembrance of a scene from\* Inherit the Wind\*: > [@](#): > > **Matthew Harrison Brady:** We must not abandon faith! Faith is the most important thing! > > **Henry Drummond:** Then why did God plague us with the capacity to think? Mr. Brady, why do you deny the one faculty of man that raises him above the other creatures of the earth? The power of his brain to reason. What other merit have we? The elephant is larger; the horse is swifter and stronger; the butterfly is far more beautiful; the mosquito is more prolific. Even the simple sponge is more durable. But does a sponge think? > > **Matthew Harrison Brady:** I don’t know. I’m a man, not a sponge! > > **Henry Drummond:** But do you think a sponge thinks? > > **Matthew Harrison Brady:** If the Lord wishes a sponge to think, it thinks! > > **Henry Drummond:** Do you think a man should have the same privilege as a sponge? > > **Matthew Harrison Brady:** Of course! > > **Henry Drummond:** [Gesturing towards the defendant, Bertram Cates] Then this man wishes to have the same privilege of a sponge, he wishes to think! ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-evolutionary-disbelief-i-m-not-descended-from-monkeys/686716/28 "2014-04-23T11:48:15Z")
Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you You look like a monkey And you’re descended from one, too! ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-evolutionary-disbelief-i-m-not-descended-from-monkeys/686716/29 "2014-04-23T11:53:44Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > Probably a misremembrance of a scene from\* Inherit the Wind\*: Love _Inherit the Wind_. I was very disappointed to learn that the original trial was little more than a publicity stunt. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-evolutionary-disbelief-i-m-not-descended-from-monkeys/686716/30 "2014-04-23T12:27:08Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > So why are there still monkeys? “If God made Adam from dust, why is there still dust?” “If God made Eve from Adam, why are there still men?” ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-evolutionary-disbelief-i-m-not-descended-from-monkeys/686716/31 "2014-04-23T14:25:18Z")
Why do I still have all my ribs? ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-evolutionary-disbelief-i-m-not-descended-from-monkeys/686716/32 "2014-04-23T14:26:16Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > Why do I still have all my ribs? You started with the baked beans? ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-evolutionary-disbelief-i-m-not-descended-from-monkeys/686716/33 "2014-04-23T14:51:38Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > “If God made Adam from dust, why is there still dust?” > > “If God made Eve from Adam, why are there still men?” If Americans came over from Europe, why are there still Europeans? ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-evolutionary-disbelief-i-m-not-descended-from-monkeys/686716/34 "2014-04-23T15:15:38Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > Love _Inherit the Wind_. I was very disappointed to learn that the original trial was little more than a publicity stunt. [But **what** a publicity stunt!](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Great_Monkey_Trial) ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-evolutionary-disbelief-i-m-not-descended-from-monkeys/686716/35 "2014-04-23T15:21:44Z")
I think they doth protest too much. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-evolutionary-disbelief-i-m-not-descended-from-monkeys/686716/36 "2014-04-23T16:04:08Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > [But **what** a publicity stunt!](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Great_Monkey_Trial) No doubt. But a little of my youthful innocence was lost when I found out it wasn’t a crusade against ignorance. Instead all the parties involved sat down and decided to have a circus. ---
**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-evolutionary-disbelief-i-m-not-descended-from-monkeys/686716/37 "2014-04-23T16:11:17Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > Love _Inherit the Wind_. I was very disappointed to learn that the original trial was little more than a publicity stunt. No, it wasn’t. I’ve discussed that more fully [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=520250), especially in post #12. Other than involving evolution the trial bore little resemblance to _Inherit the Wind_, which is a very fictionalized work of fiction. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-evolutionary-disbelief-i-m-not-descended-from-monkeys/686716/38 "2014-04-23T17:47:06Z")
> [@hotflungwok](#): > > If Americans came over from Europe, why are there still Europeans? [Psssssst!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=17313190&postcount=21) ---
**Author:** ![Pixel\_Dent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bc8723/32.png) [@Pixel\_Dent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixel_Dent)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-evolutionary-disbelief-i-m-not-descended-from-monkeys/686716/39 "2014-04-23T18:32:25Z")
> [@Larry\_Borgia](#): > > I’m not going to try to hunt this down, but I read somewhere that the Victorians regarded monkeys as sexual degenerates and were appalled that we were cousins. I recall a quote from some early proponent of Darwinian evolution which went something like “If only we had been descended from the noble lion, the hard working horse, or the faithful dog, people would have been much more inclined to accept the theory.” There’s also an idea in many branches of Abrahamic religions that Adam and Eve were the most perfect humans and each subsequent generation is more corrupt and farther from their god’s ideal. That’s why, they’ll point out, the earliest people mentioned in the bible lived thousands of years and we only live to be a fraction of that. To them it actually seems like a logical argument to say “If monkeys were our ancestors we’d be less intelligent than them and live shorter lives. Instead we’re more intelligent and longer lived so we can’t be descended from them. Even a scientist can understand that.” ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-evolutionary-disbelief-i-m-not-descended-from-monkeys/686716/40 "2014-04-23T18:45:24Z")
> [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](#): > > No, it wasn’t. I’ve discussed that more fully [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=520250), especially in post #12. > > Other than involving evolution the trial bore little resemblance to _Inherit the Wind_, which is a very fictionalized work of fiction. Nothing you said there or here contradicts what I said. I’m not sure if that’s what you meant. Each side had their own agenda. All involved agreed to have a trial for their mutual benefit even though their benefits were different from each other. And you are correct it was much different than the play. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-evolutionary-disbelief-i-m-not-descended-from-monkeys/686716.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-evolutionary-disbelief-i-m-not-descended-from-monkeys/686716.md?page=3)