# Anti-Jehovah's Witness tactics (need answer fast) **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [May 14, 2009, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-jehovahs-witness-tactics-need-answer-fast/496434 "2009-05-14T18:12:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Ponderoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponderoid/32/19221_2.png) [@Ponderoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponderoid)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2009, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-jehovahs-witness-tactics-need-answer-fast/496434/1 "2009-05-14T18:12:12Z")
Sorry about the short notice. My housemate just sprung this on me. The Jehovah’s Witnesses… They’re coming back for another visit. In about an hour. They’ve been back several times, and my housemate has a big problem saying “no” to them, and keeps letting them come back. She won’t let me stand up for her and say “please leave” either. So, since I’m not allowed to tell them to go away directly, what are the worst things I could say to them? Ideally, I’d like to appear nominally polite to them, but I’d like to use zingers that attack their core beliefs with Truth and Logic. 🙂 Any links to prior discussion about JW-baiting would be appreciated. \*\*\* Ponder ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2009, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-jehovahs-witness-tactics-need-answer-fast/496434/2 "2009-05-14T18:18:30Z")
This isn’t the kind of answer you were asking for, but I’d say go in your room and read a book or watch TV. Go to the bar or for a walk. Let your housemate entertain her “guests,” and simply have nothing to do with them. If you’re worried about your housemate’s spiritual well-being, you can counter the JW’s beliefs at another time. But their minds are already made up, and I see no point in engaging them at all if you don’t have to. ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2009, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-jehovahs-witness-tactics-need-answer-fast/496434/3 "2009-05-14T18:19:32Z")
There is always the [method from the movie Airplane](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qse_wf57tZM). 🙂 Consider trying to offer them some religious materials and try evangelizing them. Turn about is fair play. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2009, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-jehovahs-witness-tactics-need-answer-fast/496434/4 "2009-05-14T18:28:53Z")
I concur with Wheelz; don’t waste your time engaging them. Go soak in the tub for an hour with some music playing. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2009, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-jehovahs-witness-tactics-need-answer-fast/496434/5 "2009-05-14T18:30:59Z")
> [@Whack-a-Mole](#): > > Consider trying to offer them some religious materials and try evangelizing them. Turn about is fair play. Especially if you try to convert them to the [One True Church!](http://www.subgenius.com/)🙂 ---
**Author:** ![not\_alice](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_alice/32/7283_2.png) [@not\_alice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_alice)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2009, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-jehovahs-witness-tactics-need-answer-fast/496434/6 "2009-05-14T18:35:21Z")
Use the time to write up an ad for a new roommate on Craigslist so you are ready for what seems to be inevitable. ---
**Author:** ![Snarky\_Kong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Snarky\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snarky_Kong)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2009, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-jehovahs-witness-tactics-need-answer-fast/496434/7 "2009-05-14T18:38:38Z")
Chase them down the street naked with a sword. ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2009, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-jehovahs-witness-tactics-need-answer-fast/496434/8 "2009-05-14T18:39:36Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Especially if you try to convert them to the [One True Church!](http://www.subgenius.com/)🙂 I was thinking of the [Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster](http://www.venganza.org/) myself but either will do. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2009, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-jehovahs-witness-tactics-need-answer-fast/496434/9 "2009-05-14T18:45:16Z")
They get extra brownie points if you are mean to them. Just don’t engage. ---
**Author:** ![Ponderoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponderoid/32/19221_2.png) [@Ponderoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponderoid)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2009, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-jehovahs-witness-tactics-need-answer-fast/496434/10 "2009-05-14T18:45:21Z")
It’s her house, and she actually asked me to help deal with them. I’m usually not around when they show up, and given my druthers, I’d be gone this time too. \*\*\* Ponder ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2009, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-jehovahs-witness-tactics-need-answer-fast/496434/11 "2009-05-14T18:48:52Z")
They don’t want to waste time any more than you do. Just tell them that you’d like them to please stop showing up. ---
**Author:** ![kitemaker\_chuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a88e4f/32.png) [@kitemaker\_chuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kitemaker_chuck)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2009, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-jehovahs-witness-tactics-need-answer-fast/496434/12 "2009-05-14T18:54:13Z")
Just speak some jibberish (gibberish?) to them, pretending its a foreign language and the only language you speak! If they answer back in jibberish, look insulted a close the door! ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2009, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-jehovahs-witness-tactics-need-answer-fast/496434/13 "2009-05-14T18:59:57Z")
> [@Ponderoid](#): > > It’s her house, and she actually asked me to help deal with them. > [@Ponderoid](#): > > She won’t let me stand up for her and say “please leave” either. Tell her if she wants your help, it can’t be conditional. Then based on her reply, you can either tell the JW’s to leave or leave yourself. ---
**Author:** ![villa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc79bd/32.png) [@villa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/villa)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2009, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-jehovahs-witness-tactics-need-answer-fast/496434/14 "2009-05-14T19:07:43Z")
Not sure if this is an urban legend, but I was always told telling Jehovah’s Witnesses that you were an ex-JW and had left would end the conversation. But in general, your friend kind of is responsible here. If you invite someone in to talk to you abut something, it’s a little off to get miffed when they talk to you about it. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2009, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-jehovahs-witness-tactics-need-answer-fast/496434/15 "2009-05-14T19:13:12Z")
The JW’s who came to my house to talk to me believed their Bible to be the literal word of God, as in every word is literally true. You might get some ammo [here](http://www.infidels.org/library/modern/jim_meritt/bible-contradictions.html). ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2009, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-jehovahs-witness-tactics-need-answer-fast/496434/16 "2009-05-14T19:25:34Z")
> [@Contrapuntal](#): > > The JW’s who came to my house to talk to me believed their Bible to be the literal word of God, as in every word is literally true. You might get some ammo [here](http://www.infidels.org/library/modern/jim_meritt/bible-contradictions.html). But, the JW’s are sure to have an answer for all of this, no matter how illogical. You’ll just wind up talking in circles. If you’re the type that enjoys that sort of thing for the sport of it, then have at it. Me, I’d just end up with a headache. ---
**Author:** ![Mosier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ea924/32.png) [@Mosier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mosier)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2009, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-jehovahs-witness-tactics-need-answer-fast/496434/17 "2009-05-14T19:30:37Z")
Strongly disagree with the “be a smartass” direction. They’re just people like everyone else, and don’t deserve to be ridiculed, especially since their version of Christianity is probably the least offensive. They are super-persistent though. You have to tell them flat out “please don’t come back” before they leave you alone, because if you leave any semantic wiggle-room they will exploit it. ---
**Author:** ![KarlGrenze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dbc845/32.png) [@KarlGrenze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGrenze)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2009, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-jehovahs-witness-tactics-need-answer-fast/496434/18 "2009-05-14T19:43:45Z")
> [@Mosier](#): > > Strongly disagree with the “be a smartass” direction. They’re just people like everyone else, and don’t deserve to be ridiculed, especially since their version of Christianity is probably the least offensive. > > They are super-persistent though. You have to tell them flat out “please don’t come back” before they leave you alone, because if you leave any semantic wiggle-room they will exploit it. Agreed. Can you just ask them to hand to you their magazine, and then please leave (because you’re busy, getting ready to leave, have a meeting, a job, something)? I really, really do not understand the whole “let’s bash JW” thing. And as they’re no different than anybody else, there is no reason to tell them to just not be there, you’re not interested. Just like you do to other strangers. ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2009, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-jehovahs-witness-tactics-need-answer-fast/496434/19 "2009-05-14T19:44:59Z")
> [@Mosier](#): > > Strongly disagree with the “be a smartass” direction. They’re just people like everyone else, and don’t deserve to be ridiculed, especially since their version of Christianity is probably the least offensive. > > They are super-persistent though. I do not care how inoffensive their brand of Christianity is. They are getting in my face to sell a product. Basically telemarketers except they come to your door so are harder to get rid of. If they want to take out print or radio ads fine. If they want to setup a booth on the street fine. I object to people getting in my face to sell something and get particularly miffed when they will not take a simple “no thanks” and go away. It is then that ridicule is appropriate IMO. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2009, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-jehovahs-witness-tactics-need-answer-fast/496434/20 "2009-05-14T19:51:07Z")
Telling them “I’m sorry. We’re Catholic.” has always worked for my family and myself. I mean, is there any real reason that you have to rebut them at all, if they go away without needing to? It just seems mean. JWs are pretty inoffensive…as far as I know, they don’t try to get their religion special privileges through legislation or anything. They don’t attempt to get the schools to teach their tenets as fact. They aren’t terribly agressive when it comes to proselytizing, other than being quietly persistent if you don’t come right out and tell them you aren’t interested. Their beliefs are only a tiny bit weirder than mainstream Christianity and they’re nowhere near as loud and arrogant as the evangelicals and fundamentalists. They’re generally nice people. There just doesn’t seem to be any need to do more than a “We’re not interested. Please don’t come back.” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-jehovahs-witness-tactics-need-answer-fast/496434.md?page=2)