# Anti-Jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 8, 2015, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-jokes/714503 "2015-03-08T04:05:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2015, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-jokes/714503/1 "2015-03-08T04:05:55Z")
What’s worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust. It’s probably one of the worst things ever. Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus. A horse walks into a bar, so the bartender called animal control. Why do black people love fried chicken? Because it’s delicious. A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a bar, where they each order a beer, except the imam, because Muslims don’t drink alcohol. What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing. He’s homeless and estranged from his family. How do you make a fireman cry? You murder his entire family. What did the cow say to the horse? Moo. Why did the hot blonde woman get fired from the accountant’s office? She committed embezzlement and accounting fraud. What did the lawyer say to the art thief? Hi, I’m your public defender. ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2015, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-jokes/714503/2 "2015-03-08T04:27:57Z")
Previous threads, for reference: > **[No soap, Radio! The Anti-Joke Thread](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=506619)** > > I have a somewhat quirky sense of humour, and my favourite kind of joke is the “anti-joke”. For the unfamiliar, anti-jokes are jokes that start like standard jokes but then turn out not to be joke at all. The surprise element thus becomes the... > **[Anti-jokes](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=616447)** > > An anti-joke is a a type of humor that starts out like a joke, but takes a left turn somewhere and lacks a punchline. They are frequently dark: (What’s worse than an ingrown toenail? The holocaust.) but don’t have to be (What’s red and smells... > **[Do you get this joke? Is it "gettable?"](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=677002)** > > This is my wife’s favorite joke: . . . . . . . . . . . She says it’s a joke about jokes. I sort-of understand the idea of what she’s trying to do, but it’s not funny, no matter how hard I analyze it. Little help? Am I just not... ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2015, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-jokes/714503/3 "2015-03-08T04:33:39Z")
What’s brown and sticky? a stick What’s brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr Dre ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2015, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-jokes/714503/4 "2015-03-08T22:47:31Z")
A blonde, a priest, a rabbi and a horse walk into a bar. The bartender says, “What is this, some kind of joke?” ---
**Author:** ![Civil\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d78d45/32.png) [@Civil\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Civil_Guy)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2015, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-jokes/714503/5 "2015-03-08T23:10:13Z")
An engineer, an accountant, and a judge walked into a bar. No joke! ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2015, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-jokes/714503/6 "2015-03-09T00:11:00Z")
A traveling salesman has car trouble, and asks the farmer if he stay the night. The farmer says, “OK, but I don’t have a daughter.” The salesman exclaims, “My God, I’m in the wrong joke!” ---
**Author:** ![donkeyoatey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47c2d/32.png) [@donkeyoatey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/donkeyoatey)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2015, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-jokes/714503/7 "2015-03-09T02:10:25Z")
What do you call a 100 year old ant? Antique Why don’t anteaters get sick? Because they are full of antibodies ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2015, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-jokes/714503/8 "2015-03-09T03:04:49Z")
Q. How many radical feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. One, and IT’S NOT FUNNY! ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2015, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-jokes/714503/9 "2015-03-09T03:28:24Z")
Two gentile businessmen meet on the street. One says to the other “How’s your business going?” The other answers “Just fine, thanks for asking. How’s yours.” The first says “Fine. Well, have a good day.” A gentile is supposed to have dinner with his mother, but he realizes that he will have to work late. He calls her up and says “I’m really sorry, Mom, but I can’t make it. Could we do it tomorrow?” She answers “Sure. I haven’t even started cooking, and everything will keep in the fridge until tomorrow.” A gentile walks into a clothing store, immediately sees a jacket he likes and asks the price. Upon being told it is $600, he says “That’s fine. Do you take Discover?” A group of gentiles want to go out to eat together. The discuss where they would like to go. No one has any special dietary needs, or thinks that some of the best restaurants overcharge, so they decide to go to the place that is closest. Two gentiles walk into a bar. They order beer on tap, and pay for it. ---
**Author:** ![Lacunae\_Matata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lacunae\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lacunae_Matata)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2015, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-jokes/714503/10 "2015-03-09T07:55:44Z")
Three men walk into a bar. You’d think at least one of them would have seen it. ---
**Author:** ![Wallaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/dc4da7/32.png) [@Wallaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wallaby)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2015, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-jokes/714503/11 "2015-03-10T02:30:17Z")
What lies on the bottom of the ocean and shakes? A nervous ship that has sunk.