# Anti Pro choose your weapons (or gunfight in the SDMB corral)

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-pro-choose-your-weapons-or-gunfight-in-the-sdmb-corral/21562>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [June 6, 2000, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-pro-choose-your-weapons-or-gunfight-in-the-sdmb-corral/21562 "2000-06-06T16:34:34Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 4

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**Author:** ![Vestal\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5e9695/32.png) [@Vestal\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vestal_Blue)\
**Post date:** [June 7, 2000, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-pro-choose-your-weapons-or-gunfight-in-the-sdmb-corral/21562/61 "2000-06-07T18:48:16Z")

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“too late, R-n-R!” Snarls VB, as he attaches the squib to the fire bottle, and aims it in her direction!

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**Author:** ![purrplebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90ced4/32.png) [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)\
**Post date:** [June 7, 2000, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-pro-choose-your-weapons-or-gunfight-in-the-sdmb-corral/21562/62 "2000-06-07T19:19:25Z")

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Getting plastered by the water balloons thrown by BratMan, purplebear falls to the ground, now even wetter than before. But, I _love_ your jacket, Brat! I was referring to your lack of anything else besides the jacket, though that is a good look for you! 😉

Missed me, R-n-R! hehehee! Thanks, Sunshine! I’ll be right back to finish him off with you gals…

Getting up quietly, PB sneaks up behind VB and blasts him with her trusty supersoakers, right in the back of his head and one down a bit lower… 😃 When are you going to learn not to turn your back to me, dear? 😉

She then turns and heads off after BratMan. Revenge is sweet, they say…_evil grin_

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**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\
**Post date:** [June 7, 2000, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-pro-choose-your-weapons-or-gunfight-in-the-sdmb-corral/21562/63 "2000-06-07T19:59:26Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*\*  
> She then turns and heads off after BratMan. Revenge is sweet, they say…_evil grin_  
> \*\*

I only feel it fair to warn you, if you cross the Lord of the Brats, you are in my territory . . .

Hey!!! Who stole my boar head drawing? It took me over an hour to draw a good boar’s head with all the blood and stuff coming out of the neck! Not to mention how difficult it was to color all those tight spots while the crayons were getting dull.

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**Author:** ![purrplebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90ced4/32.png) [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)\
**Post date:** [June 7, 2000, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-pro-choose-your-weapons-or-gunfight-in-the-sdmb-corral/21562/64 "2000-06-07T20:33:52Z")

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Taking advantage of his distraction with looking for his boar’s head pic, purplebear gets quietly closer, and then catches BratMan with her guns blasting. So, _THERE_!

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**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\
**Post date:** [June 7, 2000, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-pro-choose-your-weapons-or-gunfight-in-the-sdmb-corral/21562/65 "2000-06-07T20:42:28Z")

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\>\>Grabbing purplebear before she can run away, BratMan flings her over his shoulder and runs into the woods.\<\<

You were right, PB, Revenge _is_ sweet.

\>\>Carries purplebear to a pond in the woods and throws her in, then escapes back to the protection of the trees.\<\<

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**Author:** ![Sunshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Sunshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunshine)\
**Post date:** [June 7, 2000, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-pro-choose-your-weapons-or-gunfight-in-the-sdmb-corral/21562/66 "2000-06-07T20:44:21Z")

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::: hands **BratMan** picture of _Babe: Pig in the City_ :::

Will this do as a temporary replacement for your lost/stolen work of art?

Hey…What’s **Smooth** up to? Hasn’t been around in a while…

::: peering about :::

Just in case…

::: launches a barrage of orange-Jell-O-with-sliced-banana jigglers in the last general direction we saw **Smooth** :::

Hmmm…my shirt appears to have dried out. How about yours, **purple**? At least we won’t have any more of those annoying wet-heaving-bosoms-dripping-cleavage zone outs by the males.

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**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\
**Post date:** [June 7, 2000, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-pro-choose-your-weapons-or-gunfight-in-the-sdmb-corral/21562/67 "2000-06-07T20:47:16Z")

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\>\>Returns from the woods, after dropping purplebear in the pond and heaves 5 water balloons at sunshine.\<\<

No offense, sweetie, but we can’t have you going around in a dry shirt. It’s just not natural.

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**Author:** ![Anti\_Pro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Anti\_Pro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anti_Pro)\
**Post date:** [June 7, 2000, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-pro-choose-your-weapons-or-gunfight-in-the-sdmb-corral/21562/68 "2000-06-07T20:48:54Z")

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::::surveys around her feet:::::look at all this wonderful red Atlanta clay, picks up a handful, rounding it carefully, winds, and the throw hits \*\* Rock-n-Rolga, \*\* in her exiting stage left back of the head! \* Bullseye! \*

Hey Lord of the Flybrats, Narile took your drawing!!! He’s putting smiley faces all over it!!! hehehehe

Nice hit on VB, \*\* purplepunkin! \*\* I think Smoothie is hiding too, did you see her climb in the truck??

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**Author:** ![purrplebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90ced4/32.png) [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)\
**Post date:** [June 7, 2000, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-pro-choose-your-weapons-or-gunfight-in-the-sdmb-corral/21562/69 "2000-06-07T21:15:32Z")

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:: **EEEEEEEEKKK!!!** ::she screams as she goes flying into the pond, landing with a _ **KERSPLASH** _!! Spluttering, purplebear comes up, and starts swimming towards shore…trying to hang onto her top and her shorts at the same time…  
THIS MEANS **WAR**!! \<I’m a little busy right now, Sunshine, I’ll get back to you shortly, after I find BratMan\>

Thanks, Anti-Pro, I did see her head in that direction, yes.

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**Author:** ![SmoothOperator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3bc359/32.png) [@SmoothOperator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmoothOperator)\
**Post date:** [June 7, 2000, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-pro-choose-your-weapons-or-gunfight-in-the-sdmb-corral/21562/70 "2000-06-07T21:27:29Z")

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:SmoothOperator drops out of the tree onto Bratman, stunning him for a few minutes:

He’s all yours PB. Sunshine, thanks for the treat. I prefer strawberries and bananas, but that hit the spot. Anti Pro, look out VB is sneaking up behind you.

Ladies, we need to combine our efforts in order to take out Narile. :lobbing water balloons ineffectively at Narile:

(Sorry, I had to actually do some work.)

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**Author:** ![Rock-n-Rolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/22d042/32.png) [@Rock-n-Rolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rock-n-Rolga)\
**Post date:** [June 7, 2000, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-pro-choose-your-weapons-or-gunfight-in-the-sdmb-corral/21562/71 "2000-06-07T21:43:48Z")

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_Ducks and misses the brunt of VB’s attack, but now has more clay in her hair than a Wallace and Gromit character_

Ok, if we’re allowed to use other elements in this here throwdown, I got ammo a-plenty, **Anti Pro**! We got red clay in the Triad area too, dearie! Here, compare _this_ to your ‘Jaw-ja’ dirt! _Stuffs wet, 7Up-sticky clump of red mud down **Anti’s** shirt then ties her up using a length of kudzu_ Oh and **VB?** This un’s for you! _drops a junebug down **VB’s** shorts_

There! Now where’s my sweet tea blaster when I need it most?

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**Author:** ![Vestal\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5e9695/32.png) [@Vestal\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vestal_Blue)\
**Post date:** [June 7, 2000, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-pro-choose-your-weapons-or-gunfight-in-the-sdmb-corral/21562/72 "2000-06-07T23:15:26Z")

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“HAH! R-n-R, I _burp_ Junebugs!”

“How 'bout some fireants!” VB reaches for her top…

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**Author:** ![purrplebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90ced4/32.png) [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)\
**Post date:** [June 7, 2000, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-pro-choose-your-weapons-or-gunfight-in-the-sdmb-corral/21562/73 "2000-06-07T23:35:56Z")

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Thanks, Smoothie! Hehehehe! \<sweet singing voice\> Oh, BraaaaaatMan!! pbear advances on him, grinning evilly…

Seeing VB reaching for R-n-R’s top with the bag of fire ants, she turns her guns on him, and blasts him from behind! Take that! Then she turns back to BratMan…

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**Author:** ![Anti\_Pro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Anti\_Pro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anti_Pro)\
**Post date:** [June 8, 2000, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-pro-choose-your-weapons-or-gunfight-in-the-sdmb-corral/21562/74 "2000-06-08T02:11:57Z")

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\*\* Rock-n-Rolga, \*\* you, AMATEUR!::::::::stiffly getting the dirt out of my shirt, after biting through the kudzu vine:::::::::::Junebugs, schmoonbugs!! THIS means WAR!!

Flips the switch on the fire hose blasting R & R, laughing while she’s tossed, rocking and rolling just like the proverbial rolling stone!

Way to go on the fire ants, \*\* VB \*\* June bugs down my shirt, echhhhhhh!

Smoothie, don’t worry about the work, THAT was THEN and war is NOW! We’ve got to bust Narile out of his little hideout. Hmmmmm, those strawberries and bananas sound kinda good!

Break:::;Break:::: Time out for snacks!!!

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**Author:** ![red\_dragon60](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@red\_dragon60](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/red_dragon60)\
**Post date:** [June 8, 2000, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-pro-choose-your-weapons-or-gunfight-in-the-sdmb-corral/21562/75 "2000-06-08T02:33:08Z")

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Don’t worry PB! Red has returned. Bratman, you’re dead. You know that boar you were hunting on page one? Well, I recruited him, and he is searching for you right now. Come, PB and sunshine, we will whitness the carnage unfold.

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**Author:** ![Narile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@Narile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Narile)\
**Post date:** [June 8, 2000, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-pro-choose-your-weapons-or-gunfight-in-the-sdmb-corral/21562/76 "2000-06-08T04:25:03Z")

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Narile sighs and stands out in the open to let people get their licks in before he unassembles the trebuchet and puts it away.  
“Not going to be able to be on much for the next week or so, my new product is now in wafer sort, and I’ll be doing debug with the designers overtime for some time.”

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**Author:** ![SmoothOperator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3bc359/32.png) [@SmoothOperator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmoothOperator)\
**Post date:** [June 8, 2000, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-pro-choose-your-weapons-or-gunfight-in-the-sdmb-corral/21562/77 "2000-06-08T11:24:01Z")

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:SmoothOperator desperately tries to recover the water balloon that she has lobbed at Narile.:

It’s no fun if you just stand there!

:she scuffs her shoes in the mud:

I have to go to work, they just don’t understand about the water fight. See y’all later.

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**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\
**Post date:** [June 8, 2000, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-pro-choose-your-weapons-or-gunfight-in-the-sdmb-corral/21562/78 "2000-06-08T11:25:50Z")

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_returns in a wetsuit and places two sandwiches on the edge of the forest cunningly hidden in a rope trap for Bratman_

Now for those girls…

_digs a tiger trap hole, covers it and then suspends a sign over it saying "SALE SALE(and dry clothes)_

_hides_

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**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\
**Post date:** [June 8, 2000, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-pro-choose-your-weapons-or-gunfight-in-the-sdmb-corral/21562/79 "2000-06-08T11:57:42Z")

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Hey, I’m a UN appointed Concientious Overseer here…

dont make me put an embargo on anyone…

sits back down…  
😉

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**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\
**Post date:** [June 8, 2000, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-pro-choose-your-weapons-or-gunfight-in-the-sdmb-corral/21562/80 "2000-06-08T13:59:19Z")

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Ok, where **the HELL** is my trusty sidekick sunshine while everybody is kicking the crap out of me? We’ve got rope trap, and geting jump on out of trees, the wild boar has been recruited to fight against me (and after I spared your life too, you ungrateful bastard!)

It seems there is only one thing for me to do.

\>\>calmly walks into the woods, notices a couple sandwiches on the ground and as he steps forward to pick them up, he finds himself hanging upside down by the ankles, the victim of a hidden rope trap.\<\<

Dammit. Well, now there’s two things to do. What I was gonna do before and get out of this trap.

And eat these sandwiches – 3 things to do.

Where’s my trusty sidekick? Sunshine? Oh, sweet Suuunshiiiiine!! Can you be a dear and help me down? I won’t water balloon you anymore, I promise.

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