# Anti Pro choose your weapons (or gunfight in the SDMB corral) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 6, 2000, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-pro-choose-your-weapons-or-gunfight-in-the-sdmb-corral/21562 "2000-06-06T16:34:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2000, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-pro-choose-your-weapons-or-gunfight-in-the-sdmb-corral/21562/121 "2000-06-12T13:42:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > No, no, no: a REAL friend would turn away. A good friend wouldn’t need to… 😉 > \*\* You know how I define friend? Someone I have seen naked. You wanna know how I define _best_ friend? 😉 PB, will you be my new best friend?😃 ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2000, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-pro-choose-your-weapons-or-gunfight-in-the-sdmb-corral/21562/122 "2000-06-12T22:51:15Z")
glub glub glub ---
**Author:** ![purrplebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90ced4/32.png) [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2000, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-pro-choose-your-weapons-or-gunfight-in-the-sdmb-corral/21562/123 "2000-06-12T23:39:36Z")
Gee, _thanks_, Anti! I really needed to get even wetter! 😛 At least, it’s summertime, so I won’t catch my death of a cold! And, I really didn’t need this top to get any smaller. Oh, well. What’s done is done. Turning to look for the others, purplebear suddenly turns, catching Anti off guard, and pelts her with two water balloons she’d been holding back for BratMan. That’s for getting me soaked again, Anti! Now, where’d the others go? BratMan, I don’t know how to answer that. :o Thank you, you are too kind. Sure, I can always use another friend. Wait, I don’t mean _used_. That didn’t come out right! I meant to say…oh, dear, never mind. I’d better quit before I really get myself into trouble!! dpr, thanks for your help earlier, and for at least turning away mentally…😉 Now, back to the action, before this becomes maudlin, and I start crying or something… Grabbing the hose from Anti, purplebear turns it on BratMan full blast, and then on VB who she just sees out of the corner of her eyes sneaking up from one side with something large in his hands… ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2000, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-pro-choose-your-weapons-or-gunfight-in-the-sdmb-corral/21562/124 "2000-06-12T23:48:06Z")
\*Feverishly installs anti-aircraft weaponry to counter further raids from Mr Bear. Calculates time till satellite is over this area… hmm… \* _Whips out water balloons and blindsides PB so she drops the hose so bratman can make good his escape_ ---
**Author:** ![Vestal\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5e9695/32.png) [@Vestal\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vestal_Blue)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2000, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-pro-choose-your-weapons-or-gunfight-in-the-sdmb-corral/21562/125 "2000-06-13T00:09:40Z")
(Theme from the Good, the bad and the Ugly) VB steps around the corner of the showers, black flightsuit gleaming in the sun…drawing his watersabre, he speaks to Purplebear… “Need some help, ma’am?” He hands an oversized clean dry towel to her, along with a properly sized, neoprene sport bra… And then he approaches Dpr… “This here is the Ruger watersabre, model XP11A… the most powerful watersabre in the world… now, in all the excitement, I forgot how many charges I have left, and you have to ask, did he fire 7 or 8? Well, do you feel lucky? well do ya, punk?!” Dpr thinks less and less of his chances, and tears off to the woods to join the other water guerillas. “he won’t bother you again, Ma’am”. ---
**Author:** ![Vestal\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5e9695/32.png) [@Vestal\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vestal_Blue)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2000, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-pro-choose-your-weapons-or-gunfight-in-the-sdmb-corral/21562/126 "2000-06-13T00:17:16Z")
After Dpr scampers off, VB reloads the water sabre, and goes off to find Bratman… “He’ll never know what hit him”, VB says around his cigar… “If that’s how he defines best friends, I know some sheep that qualify” And by his definition, Purplebear isn’t even on speaking terms with him!" “After I’m finished, he’ll _wish_ he was the Lord of the Flies!” Shoving the watersabre in the scabbard, VB sets off for the woods… ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2000, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-pro-choose-your-weapons-or-gunfight-in-the-sdmb-corral/21562/127 "2000-06-13T00:19:42Z")
(cue Theme from Men In Tights) Living in the woods isn’t that bad… ---
**Author:** ![purrplebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90ced4/32.png) [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2000, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-pro-choose-your-weapons-or-gunfight-in-the-sdmb-corral/21562/128 "2000-06-13T00:23:30Z")
Oomph!! purplebear reels from the latest hits from dpr, and falls down into the mud/jello/pudding goop, thereby getting dirty yet again! Getting up, she is handed a nice big dry towel by VB, who just appeared from over by the showers. And, a new sport bra. **HEY!!** Wait just a cotton-picking minute!! And just _how_ in the world did you know my bra size??? On second thought, maybe I don’t _want_ to know… :o Seeing him go off after BratMan, purplebear heads to the showers to get clean, at least til the next round… ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2000, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-pro-choose-your-weapons-or-gunfight-in-the-sdmb-corral/21562/129 "2000-06-13T00:34:26Z")
_finds temporal rift in the woods and upon going through it finds himself in a swamp where a small green (resembling a green chihuaha with big ears) being speaks to him in broken dialect. Through quirky plot devices he finds himself apprenticed to this Roget’s Reject and finally graduates as a Redeye: master of the Sauce(1). Now expert with a double-bladed watersabre he returns through the rift to discover it’s only been moments since he left this plane of existence_ (1) Not to be confused with Rednecks: master of the horse (and banjo). ---
**Author:** ![Vestal\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5e9695/32.png) [@Vestal\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vestal_Blue)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2000, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-pro-choose-your-weapons-or-gunfight-in-the-sdmb-corral/21562/130 "2000-06-13T18:57:40Z")
VB sees a bright vertical slit open in mid-air, and sees dpr step through with a double bladed watersabre… Seeing as how dprs’ back is turned, and having no compunctions, VB whacks him a good one with his watersabre, and while he’s still groggy, destroys his doublebladed watersabre, as well as his Rift Transponder. Not being satisfied with that, VB draws his transmogrifier ™, and turns dpr into a newt. “There! At least he’ll be happier about being wet now!” “Not to worry; the effects wear off in a few hours!” Bwahahahahahahahha! ---
**Author:** ![purrplebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90ced4/32.png) [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2000, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-pro-choose-your-weapons-or-gunfight-in-the-sdmb-corral/21562/131 "2000-06-13T19:52:09Z")
Picking up dpr, purplebear places him gently high up on a log, out of the way of any stray feet. Then, since she can’t attack VB right after he helped her, she heads off to the woods, looking for the Bratster… On the way, she stops and fills her arms with the rubber gloves filled with goo, and several large water balloons… Heheheehe, just wait til I get ahold of him! ---
**Author:** ![Sunshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Sunshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunshine)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2000, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-pro-choose-your-weapons-or-gunfight-in-the-sdmb-corral/21562/132 "2000-06-13T22:13:33Z")
::: dragging fatigued body out from under a mostrous pile of paperwork, Sunshine weakly calls to BratMan ::: Sorry I’ve been MIA, buddy! I’m a bit bogged down over here…I’ll be back in action as soon as the evil Inbox minions leave me alone! Maybe a sandwich or some pudding would help… ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2000, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-pro-choose-your-weapons-or-gunfight-in-the-sdmb-corral/21562/133 "2000-06-13T22:42:53Z")
_ribbit ribbit_ {translation: hmmmm you can see a lot from up here} ---
**Author:** ![madd1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@madd1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madd1)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2000, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-pro-choose-your-weapons-or-gunfight-in-the-sdmb-corral/21562/134 "2000-07-07T00:47:02Z")
madd1 runs across the web field distributing 2-liter bottles of water. Before he places each on the ground he drops six seltzer tablets into the bottle and seals it tight. “Sploosh!” “Shplat” “boom!” Everyone is hit in this nasty Kamikazi attack. ---
**Author:** ![MrSlam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@MrSlam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrSlam)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2000, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-pro-choose-your-weapons-or-gunfight-in-the-sdmb-corral/21562/135 "2000-07-07T02:38:01Z")
Hi everyone! I just back from my vacation! Now I’m all rested up and and stress free! Yup. Nothing can ruin my week now! Except maybe an unexpected but comical event which occurs at mt expense. Ahhhh…what am I saying. Like THAT would happen! Hahaha! … Why is a water soaked corpse lying here? ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2000, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-pro-choose-your-weapons-or-gunfight-in-the-sdmb-corral/21562/136 "2000-07-07T03:02:59Z")
_takes to it all like a… like a newt in water_ ---
**Author:** ![Anti\_Pro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Anti\_Pro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anti_Pro)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2000, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-pro-choose-your-weapons-or-gunfight-in-the-sdmb-corral/21562/137 "2000-07-07T03:36:08Z")
\*\* Aunty brandishing a 357 water pistol, \*\* Okay, who brought this wet thread back up from the bottom of the pool, stand up right now, and this one is for you buddy!!! \>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>splat\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>splat\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\>\> You whippersnappers straighten up and act dignified or I’m drop kicking you all into the pool! ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2000, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-pro-choose-your-weapons-or-gunfight-in-the-sdmb-corral/21562/138 "2000-07-07T06:54:26Z")
_makes a popping sound (feel free to refer to the Pop v Soda thread) as he’s transformed back into a humanoid_ Thank god for time limits on spells in this thread… Now, where were we? _looks up_ Omigod!! We’re on Threadspotting!! Girls - quickly cover up!! The whole world is watching. _looks innocent_ ---
**Author:** ![Anti\_Pro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Anti\_Pro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anti_Pro)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2000, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-pro-choose-your-weapons-or-gunfight-in-the-sdmb-corral/21562/139 "2000-07-08T03:44:17Z")
\*\* dpr, \*\* I don’t believe you could look innocent ya lil hooligan you!! ::::::smacking at water pistol::::: doggone jammed again!! ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2000, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-pro-choose-your-weapons-or-gunfight-in-the-sdmb-corral/21562/140 "2000-07-08T16:00:41Z")
geez, this is still going on? ::tosses a sandwich from the tuna sandwich bush to Sunshine:: Here you go, enjoy. Tell me if the mayonaisse has gone bad from sitting in the sun for so long would ya? I’m hungry too, but I don’t wanna get sick or anything. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-pro-choose-your-weapons-or-gunfight-in-the-sdmb-corral/21562.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-pro-choose-your-weapons-or-gunfight-in-the-sdmb-corral/21562.md?page=8)