# Anti-Rape Activists Having a Hard Time Dating **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 29, 2015, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-rape-activists-having-a-hard-time-dating/736111 "2015-10-29T18:24:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Pantastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3bc359/32.png) [@Pantastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pantastic)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2016, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-rape-activists-having-a-hard-time-dating/736111/141 "2016-01-06T18:29:23Z")
> [@drewder](#): > > The F\* about consent to me was saying that she believed that the reason he didn’t want to hook up with her is that she thought that his resistance was born out of… What she’s saying is that she doesn’t believe in ‘no means no’ for herself; if I guy wants to reject her, he has to have a justification for it that she approves, and “I don’t feel comfortable with this” is not good enough. If a guy was publicly expressing that he was angry, and (in his mind) justifiably so because a woman declined sex with him, she and her pals would be all over him as an example of ‘rape culture.’ But she shields herself behind the patriarchy’s rape culture, specifically the idea that a man isn’t interested in an available woman he’s probably gay (note the use of ‘fuckboy’, meaning a man who lets himself be raped by another man). She doesn’t appear to be a feminist or someone who actually believes in consent. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2016, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-rape-activists-having-a-hard-time-dating/736111/142 "2016-01-06T18:35:19Z")
Jeez, and I thought it was because she was already not too subtly threatening to call the cops before their first date. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2016, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-rape-activists-having-a-hard-time-dating/736111/143 "2016-01-06T19:11:13Z")
One wonders. If a guy’s response to these statements was “sure, good for you…but if you ever FALSELY accuse me of rape you’ll curse the day you ever meet me”. I kinda doubt her response would be “okay, sounds fair enough to me…let’s go!” ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2016, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-rape-activists-having-a-hard-time-dating/736111/144 "2016-01-07T03:03:54Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > Do I have your permission to pat you on the head, little troll? You have been here long enough to know calling someone else a troll outside of the Pit is against the rules, even if the person has been banned for it. Don’t do it again. ---
**Author:** ![Chihuahua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dec6dc/32.png) [@Chihuahua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chihuahua)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2016, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-rape-activists-having-a-hard-time-dating/736111/145 "2016-01-08T22:48:57Z")
See, this is the EXACT reason we need to implement Barney’s “Lemon Law.” ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2016, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-rape-activists-having-a-hard-time-dating/736111/146 "2016-01-08T23:26:36Z")
> [@PastTense](#): > > …I looked it up some time ago and “hookup” seems to be a very ambiguous term: while it can refer to a sexual encounter it can also refer to a casual meeting… I think it means a sexual encounter. When I was younger, it meant a casual meeting, and I would have asked a friend if he wanted to hook up at Grand Central Station while I was visiting NYC, for instance, meaning, basically, “GCS is a central place where we can find each other to visit briefly, want to try?” There’s no way I would say that today unless I was looking for some kinky thrills. It’s very disconcerting to have words change meaning like that, and there was a brief period when people giggled at me for using “hook up” to mean “casual meeting”. But I’ve learned not to use it that way. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2016, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-rape-activists-having-a-hard-time-dating/736111/147 "2016-01-09T00:58:04Z")
> [@drewder](#): > > The women quoted in the article seem to be under the impression that men were turned off because they were victims of rape. I don’t think that was the issue. > The F\* about consent to me was saying that she believed that the reason he didn’t want to hook up with her is that she thought that his resistance was born out of an unwillingness to seek proper consent before sex. > I understand his resistance. Honestly, if I were a man out hooking up, as opposed to being a married man, I would never go home with someone who seemed to be so litigious. Then again I try never to be alone with a woman whom I barely know to avoid any hint of impropriety. That woman (assuming we are talkign about the same woman) started the date by threatening the guy, and when he redacted consent due to her threats, she became belligerent and abusive. Someone who talks about the importance of consent becomes abusive when a man redacts consent. What reasonable man would date a woman who does that? ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2016, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-rape-activists-having-a-hard-time-dating/736111/148 "2016-01-09T06:05:44Z")
> [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > That woman (assuming we are talkign about the same woman) started the date by threatening the guy, and when he redacted consent due to her threats, she became belligerent and abusive. Someone who talks about the importance of consent becomes abusive when a man redacts consent. What reasonable man would date a woman who does that? Obviously a rapist. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-rape-activists-having-a-hard-time-dating/736111.md?page=7)