# Anti-social distancing **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 28, 2020, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-social-distancing/850476 "2020-03-28T01:16:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Rich\_Mann](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@Rich\_Mann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rich_Mann)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2020, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-social-distancing/850476/1 "2020-03-28T01:16:11Z")
All the calls for ‘social distancing’ don’t seem to be working. Whenever I’m forced to go out to where other people are, at least one person gets unnecessarily close. So I have pioneered ‘anti-social distancing’. I fake a coughing fit. That backs them right the hell off! ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2020, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-social-distancing/850476/2 "2020-03-28T01:27:42Z")
This ain’t gonna turn out well for you, Rich, Man! ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2020, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-social-distancing/850476/3 "2020-03-28T01:34:51Z")
[Woman who coughed on $35K worth of grocery store food charged with four felonies](https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/grocery-store-throws-out-35k-worth-food-woman-coughed-twisted-n1169401) ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2020, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-social-distancing/850476/4 "2020-03-28T01:37:07Z")
fart ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2020, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-social-distancing/850476/5 "2020-03-28T01:42:35Z")
[Hope you like orange jumpsuits](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=892573). ---
**Author:** ![Rich\_Mann](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@Rich\_Mann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rich_Mann)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2020, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-social-distancing/850476/6 "2020-03-28T02:07:28Z")
Coughing is not illegal. I challenge anyone to prove that it wasn’t just my history as a smoker catching up with me. I will do whatever it takes to get the asshole that’s behind me in line, breathing down my neck, to respect boundaries. After all, as far as I know, I might have IT and I could be infecting him. Just saying “back off, don’t you know the new rules” doesn’t seem to work. Some assholes need a reminder of why. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2020, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-social-distancing/850476/7 "2020-03-28T02:10:29Z")
I hope you _get_ an orange jumpsuit. ---
**Author:** ![Rich\_Mann](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@Rich\_Mann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rich_Mann)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2020, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-social-distancing/850476/8 "2020-03-28T02:20:53Z")
At the pharmacy today there were, taped to the floor, little blue boxes carefully placed at six foot intervals. How hard is that to understand? Apparently a bit too hard for the asshole behind me. I got him to retreat to a reasonable distance. I count that as a win. ---
**Author:** ![Rich\_Mann](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@Rich\_Mann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rich_Mann)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2020, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-social-distancing/850476/9 "2020-03-28T02:34:26Z")
The posters that seem to think that I should be arrested are, apparently, laboring under a misapprehension. I did not cough on anyone or anything. Again, I cough fairly often. I always cover my mouth and keep it to myself. Nothing has changed. I just fake a cough when some idiot gets right up close to me for no good reason. Take a chill pill! Why hate on a simple and non-violent way of getting morons to obey reason? ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2020, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-social-distancing/850476/10 "2020-03-28T02:38:31Z")
Did you really come here and expect people to think your story was _cute_? Because I gotta say, that is world-class tone-deaf. ---
**Author:** ![Rich\_Mann](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@Rich\_Mann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rich_Mann)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2020, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-social-distancing/850476/11 "2020-03-28T02:53:40Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > Did you really come here and expect people to think your story was _cute_? Because I gotta say, that is world-class tone-deaf. What do you have against social distancing? We’re you that asshole behind me at Walgreens today? How about you just voluntarily back the fuck off? I promise to never cough on you if you just go away. ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2020, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-social-distancing/850476/12 "2020-03-28T02:57:00Z")
> [@Rich\_Mann](#): > > All the calls for ‘social distancing’ don’t seem to be working. Whenever I’m forced to go out to where other people are, at least one person gets unnecessarily close. > > So I have pioneered ‘anti-social distancing’. > > I fake a coughing fit. > > That backs them right the hell off! Just flash your gun. ---
**Author:** ![Rich\_Mann](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@Rich\_Mann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rich_Mann)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2020, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-social-distancing/850476/13 "2020-03-28T03:03:58Z")
> [@snfaulkner](#): > > Just flash your gun. I’m not quite that anti-social. Yet. (Joke) ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2020, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-social-distancing/850476/14 "2020-03-28T03:21:38Z")
Now it’s gonna be even harder for you to enter the kingdom of heaven. ---
**Author:** ![Rich\_Mann](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@Rich\_Mann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rich_Mann)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2020, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-social-distancing/850476/15 "2020-03-28T03:34:09Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Now it’s gonna be even harder for you to enter the kingdom of heaven. I, absolutely honestly, would love an explanation of this comment. I really just don’t get it. And I like to think of myself as a pretty smart guy. p.s. Children, there is no Heaven or Hell. That’s what we call a ‘myth’. You’re welcome. ---
**Author:** ![TroutMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troutman/32/6721_2.png) [@TroutMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroutMan)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2020, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-social-distancing/850476/16 "2020-03-28T03:50:36Z")
It would be easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than it would be to explain that joke. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2020, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-social-distancing/850476/17 "2020-03-28T03:54:24Z")
> [@TroutMan](#): > > It would be easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than it would be to explain that joke. On the other hand, a needle wielded by a rich man has no trouble going through the eye of a camel. ---
**Author:** ![Rich\_Mann](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@Rich\_Mann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rich_Mann)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2020, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-social-distancing/850476/18 "2020-03-28T04:04:07Z")
Oh, I get it. I wasn’t thinking in terms of my username. Good shot! ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2020, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-social-distancing/850476/19 "2020-03-28T04:35:30Z")
I don’t really see the problem. A cough is a lot less confrontational than direct confrontatiom, and less like to result in them getting resentful and getting closer. You’re dealing with at best someone who forgot, and at worst a home rible asshole. If they need a reminder about why we’re social distancing, I don’t see why a cough is such a bad thing. We all have to protect ourselves. If someone is not keeping the current social contract, they deserve such a reminder. It’s nothing at all like those assholes who fake having the virus to terrorize people. ---
**Author:** ![Rich\_Mann](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@Rich\_Mann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rich_Mann)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2020, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-social-distancing/850476/20 "2020-03-28T04:47:18Z")
BigT. I love the term ‘current social contract’. Well said. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anti-social-distancing/850476.md?page=2)