# Anus Clenching Guy is Back!!!
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anus-clenching-guy-is-back/148401
**Category:** Cafe Society
**Created:** [January 13, 2003, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anus-clenching-guy-is-back/148401 "2003-01-13T23:11:13Z")
**Posts on this page:** 17
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)
#### Post date: [January 13, 2003, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anus-clenching-guy-is-back/148401/1 "2003-01-13T23:11:13Z")
For those of you who don’t know, Hiroyuki Nishigaki, is the author of [How to Good-Bye Depression: If You Constrict Anus 100 Times Everyday. Malarkey? or Effective Way?](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0595094724/qid=1042498859/sr=2-1/ref=sr_2_1/103-7600248-7723069) He seems to have written another book: [Rejuvenation and Unveiled Hidden Phenix: Carlos Castaneda Shamanism Plus a After His Death](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0595001335/ref=pd_bxgy_text_1/103-7600248-7723069?v=glance&s=books) and it looks to offer more of the same!
> [@](#):
>
> Carlos Castaneda accomplished the feat to introduce the ancient Inca-Shamanism (how to beckon the spirit, how to bring up supernatural power or our immaterial fibers or third attention–called a phenix in Egypt–within our bodies, how to become healthy-happy-efficient, and how to fuse with the universe without losing consciousness and live there for 2 billion years) through his 12 best selling books. He sent another new bible to the world. As I discuss in Rejuvenation and Unveiled Hidden Phenix, I think the following points are essential for us to attain the goal of Inca- Shamanism. They are: stopping your breath automatically, sleeping without losing consciousness, circulating your energy in your physical body, cleaning up your central energy pipe, making the beautiful, strong, energetic core of abdomen flexible and firm, good spine, the secret of physiognomy, good complexion, rejuvenation, fasting, influence of other people and of devils, cutting the pipe of floating devil above your head, good relationship with opposite sex, dependable self-importance, good repentance, imagining powerful men such as Christ and absorbing the power of various voices and of various flights. So, I have added them.
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### Author:  [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)
#### Post date: [January 14, 2003, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anus-clenching-guy-is-back/148401/2 "2003-01-14T01:46:22Z")
How many things like this can you see before it’s just not funny anymore?
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### Author:  [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)
#### Post date: [January 14, 2003, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anus-clenching-guy-is-back/148401/3 "2003-01-14T01:52:47Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by cuauhtemoc \*
> \*\*How many things like this can you see before it’s just not funny anymore? \*\*
Dunno. I’ve been looking at whacked out stuff like this for close to 20 years now and still find it funny!
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### Author:  [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)
#### Post date: [January 14, 2003, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anus-clenching-guy-is-back/148401/4 "2003-01-14T02:53:05Z")
Oh, I think I know why the “Phenix” is hidden. It’s missing an “o”.
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### Author:  [@Buck\_The\_Diver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_The_Diver)
#### Post date: [January 14, 2003, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anus-clenching-guy-is-back/148401/5 "2003-01-14T03:09:56Z")
Soon to be a thread title:
“Ask The Anus Clenching Guy”
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### Author:  [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)
#### Post date: [January 14, 2003, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anus-clenching-guy-is-back/148401/6 "2003-01-14T03:16:18Z")
Soon to be a Pit thread title:
“Anybody Else Sick of the ‘Ask the Anus Clenching Guy’ Threads?”
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### Author:  [@raisinbread](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raisinbread)
#### Post date: [January 14, 2003, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anus-clenching-guy-is-back/148401/7 "2003-01-14T03:19:57Z")
Is he related to the goatse guy?
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### Author:  [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)
#### Post date: [January 14, 2003, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anus-clenching-guy-is-back/148401/8 "2003-01-14T03:44:49Z")
Actually, I think the phrase, “…Malarkey? or Effective way.” should go into heavy rotation for thread starters.
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### Author:  [@Wicked\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wicked_Blue)
#### Post date: [January 14, 2003, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anus-clenching-guy-is-back/148401/9 "2003-01-14T03:55:23Z")
Will you be laughing when I’m finally able to cut the pipe of floating devil above my head?
No, I didn’t think so.
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### Author:  [@Berkut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Berkut)
#### Post date: [January 14, 2003, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anus-clenching-guy-is-back/148401/10 "2003-01-14T05:42:23Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by raisinbread \*
>
> \*\*Is he related to the goatse guy? \*\*
Don’t click on this link unless you want a graphic picture of someone “good-bying” their depression. Definitely not safe for work, or anyplace else for that matter.
**Raisinbread** , you may find that posting this link was a bad idea.
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### Author:  [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)
#### Post date: [January 14, 2003, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anus-clenching-guy-is-back/148401/11 "2003-01-14T05:43:52Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by tracer \*
> \*\*Oh, I think I know why the “Phenix” is hidden. It’s missing an “o”. \*\*
It’s not missing, it’s clenched.
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### Author:  [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)
#### Post date: [January 14, 2003, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anus-clenching-guy-is-back/148401/12 "2003-01-14T05:59:36Z")
Dear raisinbread, from the [registration agreement](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=148527)
> [@](#):
>
> You agree, through your use of this service, that you will not use the SDMB to post any material that is knowingly false and/or defamatory, inaccurate, abusive, vulgar, hateful, harassing, obscene, profane, threatening, invasive of a person’s privacy, or otherwise violative of any U.S. law.
It seems self-evident to me, but perhaps not to you, that one should not link to a webpage that has an 18 or over warning. Do not link to that site or a similar picture again. Consider this a Moderator™ official© warning®.
JoeyG - a little hint: when someone links to an objectionable site, do not quote the post and leave the link in the quoted text, forcing me to edit two posts instead of one.
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### Author:  [@ElwoodCuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElwoodCuse)
#### Post date: [January 14, 2003, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anus-clenching-guy-is-back/148401/13 "2003-01-14T06:05:25Z")
The other day on Something Awful, Lowtax was talking about what’s what on the intarweb these days.
“News parody websites are currently the number two source of humor on the Internet, the first one being ‘disguised goatse links.’ If you’d like to read more about disguised goatse links, please refer to this CNN article…(which of course was a disguised goatse link).”
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### Author:  [@Berkut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Berkut)
#### Post date: [January 14, 2003, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anus-clenching-guy-is-back/148401/14 "2003-01-14T06:05:43Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Arnold Winkelried \*
> \*\*JoeyG - a little hint: when someone links to an objectionable site, do not quote the post and leave the link in the quoted text, forcing me to edit two posts instead of one. \*\*
You must not have noticed, I changed the link to “[http://removed](http://removed)” in my quote.
I’m not as dumb as I look 🙂
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### Author:  [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)
#### Post date: [January 14, 2003, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anus-clenching-guy-is-back/148401/15 "2003-01-14T07:05:38Z")
Ah yes, but on the other hand, I am. 😛
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### Author:  [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)
#### Post date: [January 14, 2003, 9:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anus-clenching-guy-is-back/148401/16 "2003-01-14T09:07:52Z")
> [@](#):
>
> I’m not as dumb as I look.
[My Mom]Of course not. There’s no way you could possibly be _that_ dumb.[/My Mom]
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### Author:  [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)
#### Post date: [January 14, 2003, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anus-clenching-guy-is-back/148401/17 "2003-01-14T15:48:55Z")
James Bond: You know, you’re cleverer than you look!
Q: Better than looking cleverer than you are.