# Anxious about life; need advice/ideas **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 1, 2012, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anxious-about-life-need-advice-ideas/636366 "2012-10-01T07:15:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![LurkerInNJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ed655f/32.png) [@LurkerInNJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkerInNJ)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2012, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anxious-about-life-need-advice-ideas/636366/41 "2012-10-03T23:23:35Z")
How long have you been in NYC? Have you made any progress in establishing a writing career? An ex of mine started off editing technical books, went on to corporate writing and then copy writing. He has done some very high profile ads and commercials. Last time I checked, he was a creative director at a prestigious ad agency. There are a lot of writing jobs in NYC and the surrounding area. Proposal writers, grant writers, business writers, social media marketing writers, you name it. What kind of writing experience do you have? ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2012, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anxious-about-life-need-advice-ideas/636366/42 "2012-10-03T23:38:22Z")
**Mississippienne** - I think you’re misplacing your anger here. People are really trying to help by understanding more about your situation. You’re the one who was asking for help. They weren’t prying into your business, they were trying to figure out if the reason you are in NYC was one that might keep you there. Lashing out at people who are collecting data to give you the best advice they can is not helpful. Frankly, my thought about your OP was you were hoping for donations. Dopers can be a generous bunch. But, as Lute Skywatcher, can attest, they need to believe there is truly a need and that you’re doing everything you can to help yourself. StG ---
**Author:** ![Mississippienne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d2c977/32.png) [@Mississippienne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mississippienne)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2012, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anxious-about-life-need-advice-ideas/636366/43 "2012-10-04T00:25:53Z")
\*\*StGermain \*\*and a few of the others (I think you know who you are) you are invited to [join me in the Pit](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=667562). ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2012, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anxious-about-life-need-advice-ideas/636366/44 "2012-10-04T00:33:52Z")
13 years and my first pitting. I think you’ll have to do it without me - I don’t go to the Pit. StG ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2012, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anxious-about-life-need-advice-ideas/636366/45 "2012-10-04T00:43:18Z")
> [@robardin](#): > > As one of the people who inquired as to what drew you (or drove you) to NYC - if was a personal reason and not a career on, then you can just say so. Which you obviously have now, so I’m not going to press the question further. > > You seem to have assumed it was _intended_ as a personal question, though, which is too bad. It was more a matter of “did you come to be a writer / poet / work in advertising copy / break into TV scriptwriting”, etc., such that working 15-20 hours a week but at better pay is really what you’re looking for long term, and what you’re asking for advice about is a temporary shoring up of finances in the short term, in order to leave yourself time to work on your real interests. Your OP wasn’t exactly clear on if you wanted strictly short term advice, or a mix of short and long term. I’d give very different advice for living in NYC long term versus short term. > > Most people come to NY because “if you can make it there, you can make it anywhere”. You mentioned that your family is in Florida and you didn’t go to college here as far as I know, so my assumption would have been that you most likely fell into that camp - so what are you trying to “make it” in? If the answer is “nothing in particular, even though many people have commented on a notable facility with words, I’m just tryin’ to survive here”, that’s a legit answer. This right here. I don’t have anything else to add. I hoped I might, living around a city with a high-but-lesser cost of living and having struggled mightily at times myself (not to mention having dealt with similar personal issues), but apparently we are communicating at cross-purposes and I have no wish to do so. I sincerely wish peace and luck to you, **Mississippienne**. ---
**Author:** ![Mississippienne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d2c977/32.png) [@Mississippienne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mississippienne)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2012, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anxious-about-life-need-advice-ideas/636366/46 "2012-10-04T01:17:28Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > This right here. I don’t have anything else to add. I hoped I might, living around a city with a high-but-lesser cost of living and having struggled mightily at times myself (not to mention having dealt with similar personal issues), but apparently we are communicating at cross-purposes and I have no wish to do so. I sincerely wish peace and luck to you, **Mississippienne**. Thank you, **Ferret Herder**. I don’t like blowing my top, and the number of Pit threads I’ve started could be counted on one hand. But I truly felt like people were being condescending to me and accusing me of trying to solicit money was going too far. One day, in the future, I may choose to leave NYC. But I feel safe here. The economy is stronger here than elsewhere. My family is many miles away, which is bad in some ways and very, very good in others. I have friends here. ---
**Author:** ![Mississippienne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d2c977/32.png) [@Mississippienne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mississippienne)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2012, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anxious-about-life-need-advice-ideas/636366/47 "2012-10-04T01:35:34Z")
Also, some good news. I picked up a shift yesterday at another store, and the manager was so impressed with me he’s got me scheduled for two, and possibly three shifts, next week. Combined with two-three days worth of work at my store, this will help me out a LOT. Don’t know if it will turn into a permanent thing, but at least for next week things seem good. My friend S is having financial trouble right now, but he’s offered to pay me for some photography he needs done. I don’t believe in God but if I did I would say he’s blessed me with S. I signed up for the barter site **pbbth** recommended and contacted someone in Brooklyn about doing a work exchange for a room. He got back to me, saying he has a tenant but that the room may free up this winter and I could have it then. Huzzah! Thank you, **pbbth**! Also big thanks to **Count Blucker** , **Nawth Chucka** , and especially **Hello Again** for all their encouragement and help. To the others who’d offered advice, I assure you I am following up on it and will let y’all know if anything comes of it. ---
**Author:** ![BottledBlondJeanie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/0ea827/32.png) [@BottledBlondJeanie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BottledBlondJeanie)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2012, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anxious-about-life-need-advice-ideas/636366/48 "2012-10-04T15:14:22Z")
Please don’t be insulted, but IIRC you’re attractive, and if a homeless shelter is a real consideration you could possibly, um, strip. I don’t know if that offends your moral sensibilities, but it could be an option while you’re looking for more job opportunities. It’s certainly no permanent solution. I have a dear friend who teaches in a rural town and is a single mom. She can’t make ends meet so she works 4-5 nights a month as a dancer and quite successfully supplements her income. She’s been doing this for years, and it hasn’t changed her happy, sweet personality a bit. Then again, she works at a very upscale club here in Dallas. I have no idea what the opportunities would be in Queens. Seriously, please don’t take offense. ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2012, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anxious-about-life-need-advice-ideas/636366/49 "2012-10-04T15:39:25Z")
> [@Mississippienne](#): > > – Call HR at my job and get them to stop taking taxes out of my check so I’ll get a little more every month. Can they do that? I didn’t know. Even if they can, you’ll still have to pay it when you file. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2012, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anxious-about-life-need-advice-ideas/636366/50 "2012-10-04T15:56:21Z")
> [@Kimballkid](#): > > Can they do that? I didn’t know. Even if they can, you’ll still have to pay it when you file. At my last job (where I handled things like that routinely), it couldn’t be done with a phone call, but if someone came in and filed a new W-4 claiming they would be exempt from federal income tax for the year based on their exemptions, then we could stop taking out federal income taxes. If your income is extremely low, federal income taxes are a very small chunk of change in the check. Taxes are based on the projected yearly income which is based on the amount of the check, so if you make, say, 100 in a week and the pay is weekly, I doubt there would be any income taxes withheld in the first place. I’m assuming the state of New York also allows for exemptions from taxes in the same way. Note: The W-4 requires that you meet certain levels before you are permitted to file as exempt. I don’t remember what those requirements are, but I’m not sure that simply “being low income” is one of them. I know that having a lot of kids is. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2012, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anxious-about-life-need-advice-ideas/636366/51 "2012-10-04T16:02:25Z")
> [@BottledBlondJeanie](#): > > Please don’t be insulted, but IIRC you’re attractive, and if a homeless shelter is a real consideration you could possibly, um, strip. Inspired by [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=667382)? ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2012, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anxious-about-life-need-advice-ideas/636366/52 "2012-10-04T16:09:56Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > At my last job (where I handled things like that routinely), it couldn’t be done with a phone call, but if someone came in and filed a new W-4 claiming they would be exempt from federal income tax for the year based on their exemptions, then we could stop taking out federal income taxes. > > If your income is extremely low, federal income taxes are a very small chunk of change in the check. Taxes are based on the projected yearly income which is based on the amount of the check, so if you make, say, 100 in a week and the pay is weekly, I doubt there would be any income taxes withheld in the first place. > > I’m assuming the state of New York also allows for exemptions from taxes in the same way. > > Note: The W-4 requires that you meet certain levels before you are permitted to file as exempt. I don’t remember what those requirements are, but I’m not sure that simply “being low income” is one of them. I know that having a lot of kids is. OK. I do know about the small paycheck = usually no income taxes taken out as I work part time at a grocery store and the checks usually never get big enough to take any federal withholding out. I also know about the W-4 exemptions (though, like you, don’t remember what they are), but I assumed she was talking about all taxes including social security and medicare. I didn’t think you could stop those from being taken out. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2012, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anxious-about-life-need-advice-ideas/636366/53 "2012-10-04T16:11:21Z")
> [@Kimballkid](#): > > OK. I do know about the small paycheck = usually no income taxes taken out as I work part time at a grocery store and the checks usually never get big enough to take any federal withholding out. I also know about the W-4 exemptions (though, like you, don’t remember what they are), but I assumed she was talking about all taxes including social security and medicare. I didn’t think you could stop those from being taken out. Yeah, I can’t think of a way to stop those. Sorry for giving such a long answer that didn’t even answer your question. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2012, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anxious-about-life-need-advice-ideas/636366/54 "2012-10-04T16:20:50Z")
No, no, it was fine and may help others too. I wasn’t really clear anyway. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2012, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anxious-about-life-need-advice-ideas/636366/55 "2012-10-05T02:23:07Z")
> [@Mississippienne](#): > > I signed up for the barter site **pbbth** recommended and contacted someone in Brooklyn about doing a work exchange for a room. He got back to me, saying he has a tenant but that the room may free up this winter and I could have it then. Huzzah! Thank you, **pbbth**! You’re welcome! The bartering website has been amazing for me and helped me accomplish something I didn’t think I would ever be able to do. I’m glad it seems to be helping you potentially solve your problem too! ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2012, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anxious-about-life-need-advice-ideas/636366/56 "2012-10-06T01:33:02Z")
I do want to apologize to **Mississipienne** for insinuating that she was trolling for dollars. Although it was my feeling, I didn’t have proof and didn’t try to accuse her of it. I do feel that she went over the line in her responses to people who were trying to help, however she wasn’t reacting in her normal fashion. I would hate for her to leave the boards because of something I wrote. **Mississippienne** - My apologies. I’m sorry for hurting your feelings. StG ---
**Author:** ![Mississippienne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d2c977/32.png) [@Mississippienne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mississippienne)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anxious-about-life-need-advice-ideas/636366/57 "2012-10-07T00:31:05Z")
**StGermain** , I accept your apology. No, I have not been acting normal. My life is not normal right now. I will do my best to stay calm in the future. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anxious-about-life-need-advice-ideas/636366.md?page=2)