# Any advice on having a \*ahem\* "special friend?" \ **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 13, 2010, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-advice-on-having-a-ahem-special-friend-slightly-adult-content/528883 "2010-02-13T18:12:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2010, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-advice-on-having-a-ahem-special-friend-slightly-adult-content/528883/41 "2010-02-15T19:28:05Z")
I would suggest OKCupid or [Meetup.com](http://Meetup.com) as places to be able to find someone online, meet them in person to hang out for a while and then decide to move forward. If you live anywhere near Charlotte, NC - I have some friends that would be happy to meet you šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2010, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-advice-on-having-a-ahem-special-friend-slightly-adult-content/528883/42 "2010-02-15T22:01:17Z")
> [@Gestalt](#): > > To answer a couple of suggestions: There are two colleges near me, one of which I attend and the other of which I donā€™t. But, honestly, Iā€™m not really looking for college-aged men . . . to try to avoid being really really offensive, the ones that are single tend to be a bit boorish, and their interest and sexual skills a bit amateurish. Those are only the ones Iā€™ve been around of course, but I would prefer someone my age (25) or older . . . maybe as old as 45. > > I thought about doing something personal ads-esque, but I think I prefer meeting face-to-face, and honestly, in a context where at least a little bit of alcohol is involved. But thank you very much for the suggestions, and I will keep Craigslist in mind as an option šŸ˜‰ Darn, Iā€™m 12 years over your limit. I probably couldnā€™t keep up with a 25-year-old anyway. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2010, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-advice-on-having-a-ahem-special-friend-slightly-adult-content/528883/43 "2010-02-15T22:24:11Z")
Isnā€™t ā€œplaying the fieldā€ what they call this? I did this in college and met my ā€œloversā€ (if you must call them that) via mutual friends ā€“ at parties or bars. If you want an older set, then Iā€™d move to the arts scene. Most towns hold fundraisers and benefits for various causes and they attract the age that the OP is looking for. ---
**Author:** ![Kelby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a587f6/32.png) [@Kelby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kelby)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2010, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-advice-on-having-a-ahem-special-friend-slightly-adult-content/528883/44 "2010-02-15T22:33:03Z")
Does it occur to anyone else that there is a certain amount of danger/risk to oneā€™s safety in becoming intimate with a man you do not have a ā€œrelationshipā€ with? ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-advice-on-having-a-ahem-special-friend-slightly-adult-content/528883/45 "2010-02-16T02:48:40Z")
> [@Kelby](#): > > Does it occur to anyone else that there is a certain amount of danger/risk to oneā€™s safety in becoming intimate with a man you do not have a ā€œrelationshipā€ with? Oh my God! Really? No fucking way! I never would have thought of such a thing if you hadnā€™t told me! Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. > [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](#): > > Funny I should be saying that because well darn if he didnā€™t try that last night. Hmmm. Time for tightrope walking. Wait a minuteā€¦are you saying that **Shagnasty** tried to suck you into a relationship last night? šŸ˜• :eek: šŸ˜• Iā€™m terribly confused at the moment. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-advice-on-having-a-ahem-special-friend-slightly-adult-content/528883/46 "2010-02-16T03:24:30Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#): > > Wait a minuteā€¦are you saying that **Shagnasty** tried to suck you into a relationship last night? šŸ˜• :eek: šŸ˜• Iā€™m terribly confused at the moment. How you doing **Green Bean**? Give me a call. You have my number and I have Barry White on the surround sound and my special silk robe on. I think you misread that. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-advice-on-having-a-ahem-special-friend-slightly-adult-content/528883/47 "2010-02-16T03:41:55Z")
I _know_ I misread that, but I totally want to know what sheā€™s talking about. Iā€™ll be over in a half hour. Put some Courvoisier on ice for me, please. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-advice-on-having-a-ahem-special-friend-slightly-adult-content/528883/48 "2010-02-16T03:43:31Z")
> [@Kelby](#): > > Does it occur to anyone else that there is a certain amount of danger/risk to oneā€™s safety in becoming intimate with a man you do not have a ā€œrelationshipā€ with? Mr. Goodbar, is that you? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8c91f0/32.png) [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bam_Boo_Gut)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-advice-on-having-a-ahem-special-friend-slightly-adult-content/528883/49 "2010-02-16T03:44:38Z")
Iā€™m saying that **ā€œSpecial Friendā€** tried. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-advice-on-having-a-ahem-special-friend-slightly-adult-content/528883/50 "2010-02-16T03:45:18Z")
They almost always do, eventually. Bastards. šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-advice-on-having-a-ahem-special-friend-slightly-adult-content/528883/51 "2010-02-16T07:00:27Z")
Post pictures please! :D;) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-advice-on-having-a-ahem-special-friend-slightly-adult-content/528883.md?page=2)