# Any dopers ever cook a turducken?

**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-dopers-ever-cook-a-turducken/247868
**Category:** Cafe Society
**Created:** [May 31, 2004, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-dopers-ever-cook-a-turducken/247868 "2004-05-31T01:45:59Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 4

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### Author: ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2004, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-dopers-ever-cook-a-turducken/247868/61 "2004-06-03T03:03:30Z")

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> [@International Playboy](#):
>
> I think it was [Chef Paul Prudhomme](http://www.chefpaul.com/turducken.html).

who appears to be an Iron Chef stuffed in an Emeril stuffed in a Dom Deluise.

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### Author: ![ForgottenLore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5e9695/32.png) [@ForgottenLore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ForgottenLore)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2004, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-dopers-ever-cook-a-turducken/247868/62 "2004-06-03T03:06:41Z")

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> [@Askia](#):
>
> consensus was: poultry coinages are abbreviated and named in reverse order of the stuffings; large bodied mammals may be arranged in a more straightforward fashion

But what about dishes that break through the aforementioned borders, like the succulent cornish-game-hen-in-a-rooster-in-a-goose-in-a-pronghorn-in-a-yak? By the above ruling we would have to call it a gooroocogahenpronyak. How unwieldly!

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### Author: ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2004, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-dopers-ever-cook-a-turducken/247868/63 "2004-06-03T03:27:43Z")

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Well, I say it’s spinach, and I say the hell with it.

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### Author: ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2004, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-dopers-ever-cook-a-turducken/247868/64 "2004-06-03T06:04:53Z")

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> [@ForgottenLore](#):
>
> But what about dishes that break through the aforementioned borders, like the succulent cornish-game-hen-in-a-rooster-in-a-goose-in-a-pronghorn-in-a-yak? By the above ruling we would have to call it a gooroocogahenpronyak. How unwieldly!

**ForgottenLore.** You must send me the recipe for gooroocogahenpronyak.

As for the rest, I enthusiastically agree. But I’m as bound by the unpredicatable chicanaries of the International Restarauntuers Nomenclature Committee as you are. Granted they are provincial, bigoted, elitist, arbitrary, hide-bound, borderline fascist, corrupt and too avant garde in their culinary practices, such as their infamous endorsement of infanticide as a legitmate technque for securing fine veal. But hey. I just report the bizarreness; it’s not like I just make this stuff up as I go along. Much.

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### Author: ![Terrorcotta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dbc845/32.png) [@Terrorcotta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrorcotta)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2004, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-dopers-ever-cook-a-turducken/247868/65 "2004-06-03T12:20:27Z")

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I have executed a version of Turducken and it was definitely not worth the effort. Aside from the cold and slimey poultry parts, I stabbed the meat of my palm with a broken turkey bone and had to worry about a direct salmonella-to-bloodstream transfer.

But what really got to me was that this was a turkey stuffed with a chicken stuffed with 2 hardboiled eggs. The idea of eating a mother and her offspring, in vitro as it were, still bothers me.

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### Author: ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2004, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-dopers-ever-cook-a-turducken/247868/66 "2004-06-03T12:30:09Z")

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> [@Terrorcotta](#):
>
> But what really got to me was that this was a turkey stuffed with a chicken stuffed with 2 hardboiled eggs. The idea of eating a mother and her offspring, in vitro as it were, still bothers me.

:eek: As well it might! Like fowlly seething a kid in its mother’s milk! 😃

Perhaps just annoying the kid by sprinkling milk on its head wouldn’t be so bad… :dubious:

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### Author: ![Terrorcotta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dbc845/32.png) [@Terrorcotta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrorcotta)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2004, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-dopers-ever-cook-a-turducken/247868/67 "2004-06-03T12:52:46Z")

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E.T.F.-  
Exactly! I was fairly sure the chicken and eggs in question were not directly related, but…

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### Author: ![International\_Playboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/48db29/32.png) [@International\_Playboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/International_Playboy)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2004, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-dopers-ever-cook-a-turducken/247868/68 "2004-06-03T15:30:52Z")

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> [@Terrorcotta](#):
>
> But what really got to me was that this was a turkey stuffed with a chicken stuffed with 2 hardboiled eggs. The idea of eating a mother and her offspring, in vitro as it were, still bothers me.

When I bring leftover fried chicken to work for lunch, I usually bring a boiled egg along for the meal too. One day it came to me, “born and unborn chicken!” Now I can’t eat that combo without thinking about that.

Much better than years ago when I worked in a movie theatre. We had just premeired **Poltergeist** at the theatre a couple of days before. After a day of sunburn, beer and psychedelics on the river, I came home to find that dinner was chicken and rice, the chicken cooked with the rice. The scene in Poltergeist flashed in my mind.

Where the father put a chicken leg in his mouth, only to spit it out as it was suddenly covered with maggots.

To this day, some 20 years or so later, I refuse to eat that specific recipe, though I will eat chicken and rice cooked separately.

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### Author: ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2004, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-dopers-ever-cook-a-turducken/247868/69 "2004-06-03T16:03:28Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> who appears to be an Iron Chef stuffed in an Emeril stuffed in a Dom Deluise.

I’m speechless. Bravo 😃

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### Author: ![Zakalwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zakalwe/32/270_2.png) [@Zakalwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zakalwe)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2004, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-dopers-ever-cook-a-turducken/247868/70 "2004-06-03T17:33:38Z")

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> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#):
>
> Why, I bet you fry oysters too. Instead of stuffing them into the crabs that you’d stuff into the scrod that you’d stuff into the pelican that you’d stuff into the swordfish that you’d stuff into the hammerhead shark that you’d stuff into the kraken, and braising them in 10 gallons of squid ink and a dash of Worcestershire sauce.

Sorry, but this is a criminal waste of a good oyster. Oysters are properly eaten by removing them from the shell, putting them on a saltine cracker, and adding a strong cocktail sauce. They should at all times be kept away from heat. Ideally, the above is done at a oyster bar which has a dock out back for the boats to offload that day’s catch.

Beer is not optional.

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### Author: ![Hoopy\_Frood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoopy_frood/32/8452_2.png) [@Hoopy\_Frood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoopy_Frood)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2004, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-dopers-ever-cook-a-turducken/247868/71 "2004-06-03T17:37:18Z")

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This discussion reminds me of the old joke:

What if you cross a rhinoceros with an elephant?

Elephino. (Say it slowly.)

(I didn’t say it was a good joke.)

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### Author: ![Hoopy\_Frood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoopy_frood/32/8452_2.png) [@Hoopy\_Frood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoopy_Frood)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2004, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-dopers-ever-cook-a-turducken/247868/72 "2004-06-03T17:38:30Z")

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That should say “What do you get if you cross…”

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### Author: ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2004, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-dopers-ever-cook-a-turducken/247868/73 "2004-06-03T18:09:56Z")

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> [@Cervaise](#):
>
> And if you’re feeding a whole bunch of people, you can shove the whole lot up an Elder God’s ass.

You should try the Cthulazathdagohastumigonyarlshubyogsoth (served with a side of Shub-Niggurath braised in thyme). It’ll melt your brain.

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### Author: ![jellytoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/eb9ed0/32.png) [@jellytoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jellytoes)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2004, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-dopers-ever-cook-a-turducken/247868/74 "2004-06-03T20:11:06Z")

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I was going to offer up my stuffed racoon recipe, but seeing that only one animal is involved, I don’t think anyone would be interested.

You all have gone _way_ beyond mere stuffed racoon.

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### Author: ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2004, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-dopers-ever-cook-a-turducken/247868/75 "2004-06-03T20:48:02Z")

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Hmmmmmm… stuff the raccoon with a woodchuck stuffed with a muskrat stuffed with a hedgehog stuffed with a squirrel stuffed with a chipmunk stuffed with a vole. Then stuff the raccoon into a bobcat stuffed into a coyote stuffed into a wolverine stuffed into a cougar stuffed into a black bear stuffed into a grizzly.

Let’s see, now: vochisquihedgemuskwoodracbobcoyowolvercoublagrizzly?

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### Author: ![cwbarnes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6f9a4e/32.png) [@cwbarnes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cwbarnes)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2004, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-dopers-ever-cook-a-turducken/247868/76 "2004-06-03T21:31:54Z")

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You can deep fry teh turducken at 350 degrees in a fryer for about 1 hour and be done.

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### Author: ![wheelie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b4bc9f/32.png) [@wheelie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wheelie)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2004, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-dopers-ever-cook-a-turducken/247868/77 "2004-06-04T00:13:26Z")

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I used to frequent Hebert’s Specialty Meats in Maurice, LA ([http://www.hebertsmeats.com/](http://www.hebertsmeats.com/)) but never bought one (too big). I have had their stuffed chicken with various stuffings (cornbread, alligator, etc.) and they are great! I never bought anything from them that wasn’t excellent, and they claim to have developed the turducken themselves. I still have friends traveling through the Lafayette area stop and get a dozen or so stuffed pork chops when I can, those babies are a couple of inches thick and average over a pound each. Those cajuns can really cook!

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### Author: ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2004, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-dopers-ever-cook-a-turducken/247868/78 "2004-06-04T01:07:22Z")

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For the real carnivores out there:

Stuff a fox into a coyote into a wolf:

Focolf!

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### Author: ![ENugent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/4af34b/32.png) [@ENugent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ENugent)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2004, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-dopers-ever-cook-a-turducken/247868/79 "2004-06-04T01:19:04Z")

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> [@WCStyles](#):
>
> Thank God we had enough Veuve-Clicquot to sustain us until the damn thing was out of the oven.

You know, if you pour a glass of that into a bottle of a nice Reisling, and then pour a glass of that into a bottle of cheap Chardonnay, and then pour a glass of that into a bottle of Thunderbird: it’s Thundonlingot!

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### Author: ![Idlewild](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8491ac/32.png) [@Idlewild](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idlewild)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2004, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-dopers-ever-cook-a-turducken/247868/80 "2004-06-04T02:12:38Z")

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Speaking of carnivores, er, we have some vegan friends (who are definitely not carnivores! See, there’s a connection) who served us a delicious Tofurkey one thanksgiving.

This lead to our bemused speculation over what you’d call it if you stuffed a tofu hen inside a tofu duck inside a tofurkey. The appelation that we graced this culinary disaster with (it might be quite nice, I admit we never actually made it) was a merging of the word Tofurkey with the word Turducken… it has a nice juvenile ring to it when you splice the two words just so.

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