# Any downside to eliminating all the rats from my home town? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 18, 2009, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-downside-to-eliminating-all-the-rats-from-my-home-town/506851 "2009-08-18T16:01:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-downside-to-eliminating-all-the-rats-from-my-home-town/506851/1 "2009-08-18T16:01:07Z")
Recently, by means it would be otiose to rehearse, I came into the possession of the enchanted flute belonging to the Pied Piper of Hamelin. After a bit of voudonic reverse engineering I have figured out how to construct a larger and automated version that will allow me to banish every single undomesticated Norway rat from a given municipality. (This will include the sewers, in case you’re wondering.) The Super!Flute, once used, will fill the rats’ tiny little brains with such fear that they will swarm out out of the city as hastily as possible; a city the size of my home town, Memphis, will be emptied of rats in a night, and the rats will be unable to return for a hundred human generations. Any reason I shouldn’t use the flute? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-downside-to-eliminating-all-the-rats-from-my-home-town/506851/2 "2009-08-18T16:04:18Z")
Oh you know, the usual reasons. What do rats eat there? Moles? Insects? Those’ll overtake the town and you’ll have to bring in foreign frogs or something. Those’ll go nuts and you’ll need to bring in raccoons. Then come the raccoon-eating bears. It’ll be a whole thing. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-downside-to-eliminating-all-the-rats-from-my-home-town/506851/3 "2009-08-18T16:05:30Z")
The roaches won’t be eaten by the rats in your walls. You won’t have a food reserve for when times are bad. You won’t be able to spread plague when your house is under siege. You’ll lose a good way to prevent guests from staying. I still say kill them. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-downside-to-eliminating-all-the-rats-from-my-home-town/506851/4 "2009-08-18T16:05:39Z")
Yes, the reason is that you should use it in my town instead. I’m afraid of rats. I’d give you cookies… ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-downside-to-eliminating-all-the-rats-from-my-home-town/506851/5 "2009-08-18T16:09:18Z")
> [@Harmonious\_Discord](#): > > You won’t be able to spread plague when your house is under siege. Like I don’t already have stockpiles of the smallpox virus on hand for an emergency. Why do you think the Superfriends let me wander free? > [@](#): > > You’ll lose a good way to prevent guests from staying. I use my personality for that. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-downside-to-eliminating-all-the-rats-from-my-home-town/506851/6 "2009-08-18T16:32:21Z")
I dunno; we don’t have any rats here (barring politicians, har har), and I don’t feel any lack. Of course, they don’t have an niche in our local ecology. I say, give it a try! If you need rats, it probably won’t be too hard to get some more. ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-downside-to-eliminating-all-the-rats-from-my-home-town/506851/7 "2009-08-18T16:57:17Z")
oops ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-downside-to-eliminating-all-the-rats-from-my-home-town/506851/8 "2009-08-18T17:24:03Z")
White lab rats can stay, right? ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-downside-to-eliminating-all-the-rats-from-my-home-town/506851/9 "2009-08-18T17:26:16Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > White lab rats can stay, right? Only if they’re pets. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-downside-to-eliminating-all-the-rats-from-my-home-town/506851/10 "2009-08-18T17:54:30Z")
Hamelin doesn’t pay their bills. Do you think Memphis will? ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-downside-to-eliminating-all-the-rats-from-my-home-town/506851/11 "2009-08-18T17:58:07Z")
Yeah, you definitely want to be paid first. Otherwise, so long as your rat exodus goes North and/or West of Mempho, I have no objection. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-downside-to-eliminating-all-the-rats-from-my-home-town/506851/12 "2009-08-18T18:10:30Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > I dunno; we don’t have any rats here (barring politicians, har har), and I don’t feel any lack. Of course, they don’t have an niche in our local ecology. I say, give it a try! If you need rats, it probably won’t be too hard to get some more. To add a little more detail, the province of Alberta, where both **featherlou** and I live, has been rat free for a number of years now. From “The History of Rat Control in Alberta,” published by the provincial government: > [@](#): > > … [T]he people of Alberta are extremely fortunate not to have rats. This is not by chance but by design. For the past four decades, Alberta has had a program to keep rats out of the province. The full text of the item outlining the history of the program and its impact is [here](http://www1.agric.gov.ab.ca/$department/deptdocs.nsf/all/agdex3441). ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-downside-to-eliminating-all-the-rats-from-my-home-town/506851/13 "2009-08-18T18:20:51Z")
I can see 2 problems with this. The first is that when you run the rats out of town they have to go somewhere else and that somewhere else will be into neighboring towns or farmland. Corn and wheat crops will be decimated and people will evacuate the neighboring town in droves which means they will not be spending money or supporting the economy in your town. The second is that this pipe has also shown the ability to effect children. What happens if you accidentally set it incorrectly and the children all flee the city? And since this works for 100 human generations as women get pregnant and their fetuses reach a level where they cross from zygote to teeny human they will actively attempt to flee their mother’s body, causing mass miscarriages for the next several thousand years. On the plus side though this would finally settle the debate on when a fetus can be declared a person. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-downside-to-eliminating-all-the-rats-from-my-home-town/506851/14 "2009-08-18T18:33:37Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > Yeah, you definitely want to be paid first. Otherwise, so long as your rat exodus goes North and/or West of Mempho, I have no objection. I was thinking West Memphis, Arkansas, Oak. It’s not like God doesn’t hate them anyway. [QUOTE=Sigmagirl] Hamelin doesn’t pay their bills. Do you think Memphis will? [/QUOTE] One the one hand the city fathers have surely heard of the previous Piper. On the other hand they’re idiots. On the third hand I was planning this altruistic purposes, so there’d be no change anyway. [QUOTE=pbbth] I can see 2 problems with this. The first is that when you run the rats out of town they have to go somewhere else and that somewhere else will be into neighboring towns or farmland. Corn and wheat crops will be decimated and people will evacuate the neighboring town in droves which means they will not be spending money or supporting the economy in your town. [/quote] Which is why I’ll be sending them to WEST Memphis. Across the river. There’s nothing useful there. 😃 Or maybe just send the lot of the rodents to drown themselves in the Mississippi River. [QUOTE=pbbth] The second is that this pipe has also shown the ability to effect children. What happens if you accidentally set it incorrectly and the children all flee the city? And since this works for 100 human generations as women get pregnant and their fetuses reach a level where they cross from zygote to teeny human they will actively attempt to flee their mother’s body, causing mass miscarriages for the next several thousand years. On the plus side though this would finally settle the debate on when a fetus can be declared a person. [/QUOTE] Hey, this isn’t my first rodeo. I made quadruple-sure to remove all the “primate” subroutines from the enchantment, thankyouverymuch. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2009, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-downside-to-eliminating-all-the-rats-from-my-home-town/506851/15 "2009-08-18T18:49:49Z")
Snakes eat rats. If you lead the rats out of town, the snakes will follow. Win-win all around. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2009, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-downside-to-eliminating-all-the-rats-from-my-home-town/506851/16 "2009-08-20T20:53:14Z")
> [@pbbth](#): > > And since this works for 100 human generations as women get pregnant and their fetuses reach a level where they cross from zygote to teeny human they will actively attempt to flee their mother’s body, causing mass miscarriages for the next several thousand years. Am I a horrible person that this idea is making me giggle uncontrollably?