# Any funny BBQ Pit threads that I should read? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 28, 2006, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-funny-bbq-pit-threads-that-i-should-read/350200 "2006-03-28T03:38:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Gozu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gozu/32/6615_2.png) [@Gozu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-funny-bbq-pit-threads-that-i-should-read/350200/1 "2006-03-28T03:38:09Z")
I have fond memories of reading some nice rants from Sauron and Scylla among others but I haven’t been visiting the pit regularly. If you can think of a thread worth reading that was posted within the last 6 months or so, please let me know. I suppose it doesn’t need to be funny if it’s a must-read so feel free to share any such posts as well. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-funny-bbq-pit-threads-that-i-should-read/350200/2 "2006-03-28T03:43:51Z")
[“Woman behold thy daughter, daughter thy mother, & BOTH OF YOU LOSE MY NUMBER!” A classic by **Sampiro**](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=326481) He’s got many great threads, some of them in the Pit. [“Insurance for the cataclysmically stupid,” by **Dante**.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=236970) I’m not sure any thread on this board has ever made me laugh harder. ---
**Author:** ![dwc1970](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a183cd/32.png) [@dwc1970](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwc1970)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-funny-bbq-pit-threads-that-i-should-read/350200/3 "2006-03-28T03:57:55Z")
[The Telemarketer Speaks. I Respond.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=51270) Great classic. Unfortunately it has been closed, but still good reading, nonetheless. ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-funny-bbq-pit-threads-that-i-should-read/350200/4 "2006-03-28T04:09:45Z")
The [Prehensile Rectum](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=80957&highlight=prehensile+rectum) thread. The highlight of the thread is **Borborygmi’s** Dr. Suess parody post. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-funny-bbq-pit-threads-that-i-should-read/350200/5 "2006-03-28T05:37:36Z")
[Look at Maureen’s on the Employee from Hell finally getting fired](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=351668) \*. It was awesome. Or the Prelude: [You theiving cunt](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=313669). Dope instant classics and one of many reasons Maureen is among my favorite Dopers. Jim - You! Yes, you, you psychotic hosebeast! You’re FIRED!! ---
**Author:** ![Electronic\_Chaos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Electronic\_Chaos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electronic_Chaos)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-funny-bbq-pit-threads-that-i-should-read/350200/6 "2006-03-28T07:27:24Z")
The [Emporer of the World](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=152737) one is great. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-funny-bbq-pit-threads-that-i-should-read/350200/7 "2006-03-28T07:29:28Z")
[They’re back! - the door-to-door salesmen from hell](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=155187&) It starts off as a good venting about annoying salespeople, but then at post #18, **Master Wang-Ka** shares his experience with Jehova’s Witnesses. Good lord. ---
**Author:** ![Mellivora\_capensis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Mellivora\_capensis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mellivora_capensis)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 8:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-funny-bbq-pit-threads-that-i-should-read/350200/8 "2006-03-28T08:03:35Z")
> [@Sublight](#): > > [They’re back! - the door-to-door salesmen from hell](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=155187&) > It starts off as a good venting about annoying salespeople, but then at post #18, **Master Wang-Ka** shares his experience with Jehova’s Witnesses. Good lord. Jesus. That’s the funniest shit I’ve read on a message board. Ever. Good lord indeed. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 10:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-funny-bbq-pit-threads-that-i-should-read/350200/9 "2006-03-28T10:20:18Z")
**Master Wang-Ka** is sadly no longer a member here, but he was one of the great story tellers. Most of these are from MPSIMS, and so don’t qualify for this thread, but I have to recommend them for any newcomers to the SDMB. [When Good Cooks Go Bad: Wiener Gravy and Other Disasters](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=151037) He has several posts here, but #31 is great, and #50 is one of the funniest things I’ve read. [The Horror Of Toobs](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=200002&) [Why Men Should Not Wear Thong Underwear](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=193985&) [When Furniture Attacks](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=194040&) ---
**Author:** ![Gozu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gozu/32/6615_2.png) [@Gozu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-funny-bbq-pit-threads-that-i-should-read/350200/10 "2006-03-28T18:59:42Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > [“Woman behold thy daughter, daughter thy mother, & BOTH OF YOU LOSE MY NUMBER!” A classic by **Sampiro**](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=326481) He’s got many great threads, some of them in the Pit. > > [“Insurance for the cataclysmically stupid,” by **Dante**.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=236970) I’m not sure any thread on this board has ever made me laugh harder. First one was a little too long for me. The second one was great. Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![Gozu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gozu/32/6615_2.png) [@Gozu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-funny-bbq-pit-threads-that-i-should-read/350200/11 "2006-03-28T19:02:02Z")
I knew that one. It was older than 6 months. Definitely a classic. ---
**Author:** ![Gozu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gozu/32/6615_2.png) [@Gozu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-funny-bbq-pit-threads-that-i-should-read/350200/12 "2006-03-28T19:07:22Z")
> [@dwc1970](#): > > [The Telemarketer Speaks. I Respond.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=51270) Great classic. Unfortunately it has been closed, but still good reading, nonetheless. Oops. Forgot to quote the original message in my last post. I was of , of course, referring to “the telemarketer speaks. I respond”. ---
**Author:** ![Gozu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gozu/32/6615_2.png) [@Gozu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-funny-bbq-pit-threads-that-i-should-read/350200/13 "2006-03-28T19:11:38Z")
> [@Jeep's Phoenix](#): > > The [Prehensile Rectum](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=80957&highlight=prehensile+rectum) thread. The highlight of the thread is **Borborygmi’s** Dr. Suess parody post. Can’t say I enjoyed that one. Gross! ---
**Author:** ![Gozu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gozu/32/6615_2.png) [@Gozu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-funny-bbq-pit-threads-that-i-should-read/350200/14 "2006-03-28T19:19:49Z")
> [@What Exit?](#): > > [Look at Maureen’s on the Employee from Hell finally getting fired](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=351668) \*. It was awesome. > Or the Prelude: [You theiving cunt](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=313669). Dope instant classics and one of many reasons Maureen is among my favorite Dopers. > > Jim > > - You! Yes, you, you psychotic hosebeast! You’re FIRED!! i knew the second one. I have just read the first one. They’re not bad but I wouldn’t call them classics. No offense meant of course. I probably couldn’t write half as well as Maureen. ---
**Author:** ![Gozu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gozu/32/6615_2.png) [@Gozu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-funny-bbq-pit-threads-that-i-should-read/350200/15 "2006-03-28T19:22:23Z")
> [@Electronic Chaos](#): > > The [Emporer of the World](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=152737) one is great. Definitely one of the very best. I knew that one and it ranks very high among my favorites. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-funny-bbq-pit-threads-that-i-should-read/350200/16 "2006-03-28T19:35:40Z")
> [@Gozu](#): > > i knew the second one. I have just read the first one. They’re not bad but I wouldn’t call them classics. No offense meant of course. I probably couldn’t write half as well as Maureen. No offense taken of course, we each have our own likes and dislikes. Jim ---
**Author:** ![dasgupta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e56c9b/32.png) [@dasgupta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dasgupta)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-funny-bbq-pit-threads-that-i-should-read/350200/17 "2006-03-28T20:01:50Z")
Certainly not in the last 6 months, but [The horror of blimps](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=160851) by **Scylla** is one of my personal favs. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-funny-bbq-pit-threads-that-i-should-read/350200/18 "2006-03-28T21:09:38Z")
[My rage burns with the fire of a million suns](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=62082) ---
**Author:** ![Mellivora\_capensis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Mellivora\_capensis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mellivora_capensis)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 8:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-funny-bbq-pit-threads-that-i-should-read/350200/19 "2006-03-29T08:36:35Z")
> [@Sublight](#): > > **Master Wang-Ka** is sadly no longer a member here, but he was one of the great story tellers. Holy crap, ain’t that the truth. Okay, I know I’m dangerously close to beating a dead horse, but it’s 24 hours later and I’ve just logged on and read that one again and I’m crying with laughter once more. \*\*Master Wang-Ka \*\* for President!!! ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-funny-bbq-pit-threads-that-i-should-read/350200/20 "2006-03-29T08:57:18Z")
> [@Sublight](#): > > [They’re back! - the door-to-door salesmen from hell](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=155187&) > It starts off as a good venting about annoying salespeople, but then at post #18, **Master Wang-Ka** shares his experience with Jehova’s Witnesses. Good lord. Good lord is right! I think we’ve all dreamed of doing that, but I never realized how funny it would be to read about it. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-funny-bbq-pit-threads-that-i-should-read/350200.md?page=2)