# Any gay male Dopers think Spike is hot? (Buffy thread)

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-gay-male-dopers-think-spike-is-hot-buffy-thread/117467>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Created:** [July 5, 2002, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-gay-male-dopers-think-spike-is-hot-buffy-thread/117467 "2002-07-05T08:07:50Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\
**Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-gay-male-dopers-think-spike-is-hot-buffy-thread/117467/1 "2002-07-05T08:07:50Z")

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I have a little project in the works that has to do with Spike, and some other people are participating. All those people are female. Got me thinking…as hot as Spike is, does he only seem so to us gals, or are there some secret admirers out there? ( I was gonna call on Esprix or Matt or gobear…but I don’t think I’ve ever seen any of the three participate in a Buffy thread. )

Anyway, just curious…and if there are any gay male fans of the show, tell me how you rate the relative hotness of the four male leads, past and present:

Giles  
Spike  
Xander  
Angel

?

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**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\
**Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 8:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-gay-male-dopers-think-spike-is-hot-buffy-thread/117467/2 "2002-07-05T08:12:41Z")

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Hmmn.

The order or desirability is:

Giles  
Spike  
Xander  
Angel  
Riley  
Jonothan

I’d take them all on at once though.

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**Author:** ![Potter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Potter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Potter)\
**Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 11:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-gay-male-dopers-think-spike-is-hot-buffy-thread/117467/3 "2002-07-05T11:26:02Z")

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Oh good gahhh. He is hot, yes. It was one of the first things the boif and I talked about on the night we met - a long, in-depth discussion of Spike’s cheekbones and how good he looks stripped to the waist. He’s just so _snotty_. My crush on him is so well known that a friend knew it would be ok to wake me at 3am with a phone call recently, telling me that James Marsters was appearing at that moment in his first acting role as a priest(!) in a repeat of _Northern Exposure_.

The order I would put the leads in would be -  
Spike (rowr, take me now)  
Xander (puppy dog cute, plus the episode where he was on the swimteam…)  
Angel (too brooding)  
Giles (just NO)

The SO’s order-  
Spike (he likes Spike perhaps even more than I do)  
Giles (he likes Englishmen)  
Angel (no accounting for taste. Perhaps the leather coat?)  
Xander (he can’t stand him. In fact, pretty much loathes him)

Jonothan should come second in my list though, because I have a thing about short guys. Riley was too ‘clean’ (boring), but if we’re talking about his Initiative buddy Graham… ohhh yes please.  
Ok, I think that’s more than enough drooling for this morning 🙂

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**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\
**Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-gay-male-dopers-think-spike-is-hot-buffy-thread/117467/4 "2002-07-05T11:52:40Z")

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I’ve participated in many a Buffy thread; I guess that means i’m yet snother invisible poster. \<sigh\>

Regarding the hotness of the men of BtVS; I gotta say that I find Nicholas Brendon (Xander) to eminently fuckable on a purely physical basis. In the swim-team-turns-into-reptiles episode of Season 2 (I’ve got it on DVD, but I’m too lazy to walk over and look), Xander in a Speedo is hot, hot, hot.

Giles has the personality, but not the body. I love Giles’ inner darkness, and his wit, but he needs to hit the gym. Spike is so not hot–way too skinny, scowly personality, and he bleaches his hair, a major turn-off. And Angel never did it for me, either.

Riley, on the other hand, is sheer perfection. He’s blond, muscular, great smile, and a sweet disposition, with just that hint of inner complexity. I wopuld fuck him 'til he was bowlegged.

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**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\
**Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-gay-male-dopers-think-spike-is-hot-buffy-thread/117467/5 "2002-07-05T14:44:47Z")

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:: bobkitty enters, dragging a large wooden box ::

::wiping forehead::

Ah, yes. Is there a Mr. Gobear here? Wonderful. Mr. Gobear, would you come with me? Just over to this spot here. Yes, that’s it. Lie down on this bed, facedown please. Make yourself comfy… stretch out, that’s right.

::opens box, roots around inside for a moment::

::chains Gobear to the bed::

Now then, Mr. Gobear. I understand you’ve been disparaging the heavenly body that is Mr. Rupert Giles. We have punishments for such things, Mr. Gobear, and they aren’t pleasant.

::checking list, rooting around in box some more::

It says here we start with 50 lashes with a wet noodle. And I’ll have you know, it’s a _lasanga_ noodle, Mr. Gobear. And it’s very, very wet. If that doesn’t work, we move on to even more hideous punishments, until we break you.

All you have to do is retract your earlier statement, and all will be forgiven.

Shall we begin, Mr. Gobear?

-BK

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**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\
**Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-gay-male-dopers-think-spike-is-hot-buffy-thread/117467/6 "2002-07-05T19:07:02Z")

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\*\* gobear, \*\* I apologize profusely. Now that I am reminded, I remember. And after that vivid contribution, I don’t imagine I will ever forget.

I realized I completely blocked out Riley… I just hated the character so much I didnt’ even consider the actor. Johnathan, on the other hand, did occur to me, I just thought you all would scoff. He is a cute thang, ain’t he?

And bobkitty, I’m with you! Punish him!

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**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\
**Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-gay-male-dopers-think-spike-is-hot-buffy-thread/117467/7 "2002-07-05T19:24:56Z")

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Oooohhhh, the **lasagna** noodle!

Yes, Mr. BobKitty, sir, I have been very naughty indeed. I require…discipline.

Tighter, harder, yes, yes, YES, ohh, yesssssss!!

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**Author:** ![The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Asbestos_Mango)\
**Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-gay-male-dopers-think-spike-is-hot-buffy-thread/117467/8 "2002-07-05T20:19:30Z")

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I’m firmly in the hetero female column, but if I were a gay male, I would definitely still think Spike is hot.

(in danger of developing a sick obsession with James Marsters)

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**Author:** ![king\_of\_spain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7cd45c/32.png) [@king\_of\_spain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/king_of_spain)\
**Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-gay-male-dopers-think-spike-is-hot-buffy-thread/117467/9 "2002-07-05T20:48:27Z")

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Um, just to throw in some variety…I’m a straight female, and I do not find Spike even slightly attractive. I dunno, I don’t go for blond guys as a rule, and those cheekbones are downright freaky and unnatural.

On the other hand, Giles, Xander, Jonathan…oh yes.

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**Author:** ![Weird\_AL\_Einstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c67d28/32.png) [@Weird\_AL\_Einstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weird_AL_Einstein)\
**Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-gay-male-dopers-think-spike-is-hot-buffy-thread/117467/10 "2002-07-05T21:49:32Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Stoid \*  
> \*\*I realized I completely blocked out Riley… I just hated the character so much I didnt’ even consider the actor. \*\*

Did you block out Oz too?  
[sub]Thinking of starting a thread to ask the lesbian dopers which _female_ BtVS lead they fancy…'twould be interesting, methinks…[/sub]

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**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\
**Post date:** [July 6, 2002, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-gay-male-dopers-think-spike-is-hot-buffy-thread/117467/11 "2002-07-06T01:30:20Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Weird\_AL\_Einstein \*  
> \*\*
> 
> Did you block out Oz too?\*\*

ACK! I did… but for precisely the \* opposite \* reason… I find Oz’s absence so incredibly painful that I try never to think about it. Oz is for sure my favorite character of either sex on the show. The personification of cool… sigh. The ONLY time I ever cried was his final goodbye (until the season ender this year, but I think that was PMS). Killed me.

And his size is no deterrent. Seth Green comes off like he’s 6’5" and THAT is intensely sexy.

> [@](#):
>
> \*\* [sub]Thinking of starting a thread to ask the lesbian dopers which _female_ BtVS lead they fancy…'twould be interesting, methinks…[/sub] \*\*

Well, can I answer as a bisexual?

Not as far as simple beauty is concerned, because the order would be completely different, but as far as who I would, in real life, desire to have sexual congress and other pleasantness with:

1. Willow
2. no one
3. no one
4. no one
5. no one
6. Faith
7. no one
8. no one
9. no one
10. no one
11. Tara
12. Cordelia

Buffy doesn’t even make the list because she is just WAY too much of a tightass little whiner, and Dawn is of course, too young. Anya just leaves me cold.

Now, if I were doing that list as Order of Beauty:

1. Cordelia
2. Buffy
3. Faith  
4 . Dawn
4. Anya
5. Willow
6. Tara

Willow’s placement is a little deceiving…no, she’s not classically and perfectly beautiful, but I completely agree with Oz about one thing: she has a smile to die over. And of course, all the ladies are lovely, and I place Tara last just because of that odd bovine quality she has that I can’t put my finger on. (That sounds way harsher than I mean it to, believe me)  
stoid

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**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\
**Post date:** [July 6, 2002, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-gay-male-dopers-think-spike-is-hot-buffy-thread/117467/12 "2002-07-06T01:43:33Z")

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Hey, I’m a straight male, and even _I_ think Spike is hot. I always thought his character would turn out to be gay before he started getting it on with Buffy, though. In Great Britain, a platinum blond dye job on a man is a symbol of homosexuality (watch old episodes of “Are You being Served?” if you doubt it), and Spike has a British accent. But that potential plot complication didn’t go anywhere.

As to the order of other male characters, here’s what I think:

Xander — Is it chilly in here? Oh, it’s just him.

Giles — Hot.

Spike — _Very_ hot.

Angel — Worth converting for.

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**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\
**Post date:** [July 6, 2002, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-gay-male-dopers-think-spike-is-hot-buffy-thread/117467/13 "2002-07-06T02:10:37Z")

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Speaking from a straight male… Spike is hot. But Dawn is just downright sexy! 😛

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**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\
**Post date:** [July 6, 2002, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-gay-male-dopers-think-spike-is-hot-buffy-thread/117467/14 "2002-07-06T03:24:31Z")

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Not, strictly speaking, gay as such, but I can put aside the ladies for a moment…

Gods, yes, Spike’s hot.

Now…ranking the thus-far mentioned men, hottest to least…

[ul][li]Giles. Mmmmmmmmm… It’s the glasses and the accent.[/li][li]Spike. Gotta be the accent. Nummy.[/li][li]Xander. Took me a few seasons to notice, but he’s pretty cute.[/li][li]Season 1/2 Angel/Angelus.[/li][li]::Mumbles:: Jonathan… OK, my taste is a little weird sometimes.[/li][li]Oz.[/li][li]Post Season 2 Angel. When he bulked up and got all broody, he lost a lot of his charm. He kept some when he was evil and cool, despite the extra size, but muscley and non-cool? :p[/li]Riley. Not my type, physically (again, too muscley, and there’s just something about his face I really don’t like), and I dislike the character a lot.[/ul]

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**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\
**Post date:** [July 6, 2002, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-gay-male-dopers-think-spike-is-hot-buffy-thread/117467/15 "2002-07-06T03:43:20Z")

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\< quick hijack \>  
Spike used to be quite a bit more buff too. The producers thought he was way too muscular for vampy Spike, so he lost about 30 of muscle to get that gaunt look.

Note #2: He’s really from California and I saw him on some other show talking in his _real_, non-Britsh accented voice. Bloody freaky it was.

The accent definitely adds to his yumminess.

\</hijack\>

**On to the OP** … Queer female me and my girlfriend would both choose Spike above and beyong _any_ female character on _Buffy_ or _Angel_ (although on Angel, Fred’s kinda cute and my SO really likes Lilah [sub] or whatever her name is… braincramp![/sub].)

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**Author:** ![erislover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/71e660/32.png) [@erislover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erislover)\
**Post date:** [July 6, 2002, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-gay-male-dopers-think-spike-is-hot-buffy-thread/117467/16 "2002-07-06T16:00:44Z")

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Spike is tolerably attractive IMO, but he doesn’t really appeal to me like some guys do. Even though he would assuredly be too old for me I’d go for Giles, then Spike, then no one. Xander and Angel just never did it for me in the hot-guy department. What always turned me off to Spike was the way he treated Dru in Season 2 when he was wheelchair-bound. But I die a little every time I see Giles in the “You just killed my girlfriend and I’m gonna kick your ass” mode, swinging that flaming baseball bat! And his little speech to Ben at the end of Season 5… god, what a guy. Ok, no more reliving favorite Giles moments.

For the girls it would be a very tough toss up between Willow and Drusilla. Willow is the sweetest thing, and Dru is so damn sexy to me I can’t stand it sometimes. Vamp Willow and you’ve got no question in my mind. I die a little every time I see Vamp Willow.

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**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\
**Post date:** [July 6, 2002, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-gay-male-dopers-think-spike-is-hot-buffy-thread/117467/17 "2002-07-06T16:08:01Z")

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I’m a straight male Doper who – funny this thread should come up – was thinking about it the other day and decided that David Boreanaz would probably be my crossover guy.

As far as the women of the show go, no one holds a candle to Alyson Hannigan … unless they were holding the candle next to her such that I could gaze upon her delectable beauty that much more easily.

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**Author:** ![Charlie\_Tan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/charlie_tan/32/12582_2.png) [@Charlie\_Tan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Tan)\
**Post date:** [July 7, 2002, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-gay-male-dopers-think-spike-is-hot-buffy-thread/117467/18 "2002-07-07T00:01:01Z")

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Straight, male, 41.

I can certainly see how some men are sexually attractive, even though I’m not tempted to cross the border.

I’m halfway thru season 2 (Angel’s just turned bad again), so some names don’t mean a thing to me. Re: the op, I think I have an opinion on the four.

Angel. Please no. He’s good looking, in a calvin klein ad sorta way. No charisma, no sex-appel at all.  
Spike. Please no again. He’s too over the top. It’s too much of an act. When I stumble on to these types in real life, I always think: “Oh, so you were the fat kid everybody teased in junior high.”  
Giles. The hidden strength and smart ways are very attractive. Anyone remember him from the Nescafé/Taster’s Choice commercials. I do. And I rememeber women swooning for him even then.  
Xander. Oh yes. Self irony, wit, smart and he is actually really good looking. Camparing him to Angel, Xander looks like a real goodlooking person. Angel looks like someone who works at least 6 hours a day on being good looking. At that’s not attractive to me.

Re: the fems. Yes, I agree Buffy can get a bit to whiney, but I’d do her anytime. At least if I stumpled on to her when she’s being perky and in the mood for quick and witty comebacks. Willow just doesn’t do it for me. I get fatherly/big brotherly and want to help her get some self confidence. Cordelia is way to flakey. Even her looks is like my description of Angel - trying too hard. She plastic. Had it been the 80’s, she’d have had hard hair. Jenny Calender is yummy.

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**Author:** ![Weird\_AL\_Einstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c67d28/32.png) [@Weird\_AL\_Einstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weird_AL_Einstein)\
**Post date:** [July 7, 2002, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-gay-male-dopers-think-spike-is-hot-buffy-thread/117467/19 "2002-07-07T03:09:44Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by The Gaspode \*  
> \*\*Jenny Calender is yummy. \*\*

Indeed she is (was), and this fact is not acknowledged enough. Willow is still my favorite tho.

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**Author:** ![Weird\_AL\_Einstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c67d28/32.png) [@Weird\_AL\_Einstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weird_AL_Einstein)\
**Post date:** [July 7, 2002, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-gay-male-dopers-think-spike-is-hot-buffy-thread/117467/20 "2002-07-07T04:29:05Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> _Originally posted by Stoid \*  
> \*\* Well, can I answer as a bisexual?_\*

But of course, and my profuse apologies for not including them in my original statement 😃

> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Stoid \*  
> \*\* Not as far as simple beauty is concerned, because the order would be completely different, but as far as who I would, in real life, desire to have sexual congress and other pleasantness with:
> 
> 1. Willow
> 2. no one
> 3. no one
> 4. no one
> 5. no one
> 6. Faith  
> \*\*

Fascinating. I always more or less assumed, without really thinking about it, that the female BtVS character to whom lesbian and bisexual female fans would be most attracted would be Faith. Though of course I certainly understand the attraction to Willow ;).

Also, I find it fascinating how much positive response there has been in this thread to Jonathan. Is he poised to be a “Mary Ann” on BtVS?

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