California, a couple hours south of you in San Luis Obispo.
True, phlegm and saliva are usually experienced comingled, but are, in fact, separate secretions.
I can think of a couple more, does the expression pan fried risotto mean anything to you?
Hint… I worked on a Neuro Unit
so… although there are more than 7 things I could have had on my uniform, so far what is correct is
blood, vomit, stool,urine, phlegm (tracheostomy secretions)
two left…(and the other suggestion… yes had it on me from patients but not my Seven Deadly Stains day)
that’s not a hint, that’s a Monty Python 2 ton giveaway.
I’m an electrical engineer by day, and an EMT by night. My present thinking is that should Obama get my job, I’m going to upgrade to Paramedic and also get an RN. I had to do clinical time in an ER as part of my EMT-Intermediate education, and I loved it. I saw some pretty intense stuff, and none of it was anything I couldn’t do myself with the proper training.
Brain juice, obviously.
Many two year schools have the option if taking the LPN boards after the first year.
Pre-reqs usually include anatomy, physiology, chemistry, microbiology and a few general courses like english, sociology and psychology. YMMV.
Juliefoolie yeah, but can you make a resident cry? I could. 
Bile? Ejaculate?
Very good, but your teachers will prefer the term “cerbro-spinal fluid”
For those keeping track at home the Seven Deadly Stains were
Bowel Movement (yes it was liquid that day!) Blood, CSF, emeis, (vomit) nasal secretions (snot) tracheostomy secretions (phlegm) and urine.
Have had other things on me, but that day was the most varied stain/splash day.
I can come up with at least a half dozen more uckis to befoul a uniform.
And the best way to make a resident cry is to wait until after he has come to the floor at 2 am to deal with a patient who is unstable post head injury or brain surgery… (maybe going into diabetes insipidus post pit tumour removal, ) wait for him to go back to his sleeping room, get cozy and call back…
Hi, its Juliefoolie from Neuro…?
Yes…
Very important you come down right away…
Have him run back…
“You didn’t order laxitive of choice for Mr. X” Did you want Lactulose or Milk of Mag?
Because this is priority at 3 am. Especially when they are suffering from brand new baby doctor I know it all syndrome…
Juliefoolie, one of my friends is a licensed vet tech and worked for years at the teaching horsepital (horse hospital) where I work now. During her years of glory, one whiny resident (most of them are awesome) wrote under the parameters (you know, call if T>103, HR>60, that sort of thing) “questions”, meaning call if questions. She called him in the wee hours of the morning and said, “I have a question. What’s your favorite color?”
Oh that’s the easy way. The hard way is knowing more than they do, then calling their attending, who agrees with you. So, I guess it would actually be the attending that made them cry…
OMG that’s the best! Guess that Vet learned to be more specific.
I had a really good doctor on-call one weekend, we had a very psychotic patient, brittle diabetic, and he ended the call with… well if there is anything else I can help you with, let me know…
I jumped in with “Ok I need a 9 letter word, starts with L for…” whatever the latest crossword clue…
But he was nice and just laughed.
Hmm picu nurse… thats way better… I never got to that level, I jumped ship and went to long term care…
Conversation on Monday night:
“So that Rose is such a dip! Do you know when Charlie died, she didn’t close his eyes? And the family all visited and saw him like that?! And I walked in after they left, and there’s Charlie lying there, staring fixedly at the ceiling! And to make matters worse, that Dr Tosser had left the death certificate on the pillow right next to Charlie’s head!!!”
All nurses at table: BWWWWWWWWWWWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
All others: shocked silence
All nurses: Um, OK, we can see how that’s not really funny…
Here’s my thoughts on nursing from an earlier thread.
I didn’t see this but my co workers did . At my old facility they had to get an “agency nurse” in to cover, because there wasn’t a spare RN to work that shift.
So, they listen to report, and then various things happen and then it’s breakfast…The RN is supposed to feed patients in three rooms in one small hallway.
She feeds patient A, then Patient B, but Patient C “Won’t wake up and won’t open her eyes or mouth and won’t even swallow”…she complains to the care aides.
Um, thats because Mrs C is dead…we’re waiting for the family to get in… it was in report…
Agency RN “Well nobody told me”
Care Aide… we thought the fact the door was closed, she had a sheet over her face, her name was on the door, and she has been dead for 5 hours would have been proof enough …
That Agency RN never worked in our facility again.
And yes we all laughed. We also laughed the day a patient went into our bosses office, dropped trou, and shat all over her specially designed ergonomic chair. And we LIKED that boss.
That’s seems unlikely. That shortage of nurses is ongoing, nation-wide, and the predictions are that it will get worse. cite
I had a very, very serious medical condition over the past few months that was likely fatal. I only saw my doctors 20 minutes to an hour a day and, the rest of the time, the nurses ran the show. Almost all all of them were outstanding from the ICU nurses to the critical care nurses to the ER nurses. The RN’s always answered my questions intelligently even if it was about some obscure drug and they caught several mistakes that the doctors made. If they were not sure, they would page a doctor even if it was 2 am. I want to be an RN now and I have great respect for them.