# Any of y'all want to sell your soul? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 6, 2010, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-of-yall-want-to-sell-your-soul/545728 "2010-07-06T16:15:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-of-yall-want-to-sell-your-soul/545728/121 "2010-07-09T20:21:59Z")
**Skald** sir, your lowness, I have an incident to report! Post17 and onward in this thread: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=12666931&posted=1#post12666931](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=12666931&posted=1#post12666931) I suggest you dispatch the flying monkeys immediately, or perhaps the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark they shoot bees at you. What’s my reward? ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-of-yall-want-to-sell-your-soul/545728/122 "2010-07-09T20:22:27Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > You really are in Hell, then. I bet Lynyrd Skynyrd, grits, and sweet tea are equally hard to come by down there. Sorry about the cold snap. We’re not COMPLETELY cut off. As a moment’s thought should make clear, we have offices in Houston. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-of-yall-want-to-sell-your-soul/545728/123 "2010-07-09T20:28:29Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > We’re not COMPLETELY cut off. As a moment’s thought should make clear, we have offices in Houston. That’s convenient. Saves me the trouble of using the diplomatic pouch to send you [The Battle of Evermore](http://www.lyricsfreak.com/l/led+zeppelin/the+battle+of+evermore_20082162.html) _The pain of war cannot exceed The woe of aftermath, The drums will shake the castle wall, The ringwraiths ride in black, Ride on._ [Other useless trivia likely of interest only to me on the wiki page](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Battle_of_Evermore) ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-of-yall-want-to-sell-your-soul/545728/124 "2010-07-09T20:30:50Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > We’re not COMPLETELY cut off. As a moment’s thought should make clear, we have offices in Houston. As an aside, you can get street cred with your NBA fan customers by claiming offices in Miami after the James/Bosh/Wade alliance thingy. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-of-yall-want-to-sell-your-soul/545728/125 "2010-07-09T20:31:38Z")
> [@Autolycus](#): > > **Skald** sir, your lowness, I have an incident to report! Post17 and onward in this thread: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=12666931&posted=1#post12666931](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=12666931&posted=1#post12666931) > > I suggest you dispatch the flying monkeys immediately, or perhaps the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark they shoot bees at you. What’s my reward? You have confused me with the mortal, erstwhile super-villain of the same name. Do not make that mistake again, for that fool, having abandoned his schemes of conquest and plans to exterminate Wales, is an embarrasment to the forces of darkness. (For Beelzebub’s sake, he despises Nancy Grace.) All he and I have in common is the name. Well, that an an aesthetic appreciation for Natalie Portman. Well, those two things and getting along with Oak. Well, those three things and a love of coffe. He’s an addict, though. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-of-yall-want-to-sell-your-soul/545728/126 "2010-07-09T20:42:02Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > We’re not COMPLETELY cut off. As a moment’s thought should make clear, we have offices in Houston. Yes, it did take me longer than it should to grok the shoutout to Admiral Bob. Give my regards to Alex and Margrethe. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2010, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-of-yall-want-to-sell-your-soul/545728/127 "2010-07-09T21:17:03Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > [crazy hat off] > > In the story Czarcasm and I were talking about, the Devil loses the bet, leaves in a huff, then returns because he still wants to solve the problem and wants to consult with the protagonist. Actually, it _was_ the Joe Haldeman story(and later _Twilight Zone_ episode) that I was referring to. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-of-yall-want-to-sell-your-soul/545728/128 "2010-07-10T05:53:18Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > You have confused me with the mortal, erstwhile super-villain of the same name. Do not make that mistake again. Ah yes your evilness, rest assured I will not. Still, I don’t suppose you’d know his forwarding address? For that matter, I wouldn’t be so harsh on him. His recent polling behavior suggests a high potential for future acts of villainy. Napoleon failed once, and from what I hear he has wormed his way up quite high, err, low in your lowerarchy. P.S. The succubi are quite nice. No complaints here. ---
**Author:** ![Barking\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Barking\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barking_Dog)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-of-yall-want-to-sell-your-soul/545728/129 "2010-07-10T11:22:40Z")
Dude, if you don’t want any of my bodily organs than screw you! I’ll go build my own hell. With blackjack and hookers! Everybody will want to come to my hell. You’ll see. You’re going to make me wish I’d never been born. I’ll show you, I’ll show you all! [cue thunder] Tell Lucifer he can suck it. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-of-yall-want-to-sell-your-soul/545728/130 "2010-07-10T13:18:43Z")
> [@Barking\_Dog](#): > > Dude, if you don’t want any of my bodily organs than screw you! I’ll go build my own hell. With blackjack and hookers! Everybody will want to come to my hell. You’ll see. You’re going to make me wish I’d never been born. > > I’ll show you, I’ll show you all! [cue thunder] Tell Lucifer he can suck it. 😕 The Boss has no mouth. I thought everyone knew that. What DO they teach in these schools, anyway? ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-of-yall-want-to-sell-your-soul/545728/131 "2010-07-10T13:25:15Z")
I sold my soul to the company store. ---
**Author:** ![Barking\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Barking\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barking_Dog)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-of-yall-want-to-sell-your-soul/545728/132 "2010-07-10T16:06:12Z")
Eh, you know how it is with these A cards. I was being metaphorical-like anyways. But still. I’m still gonna make a better hell, with new ideas. And you’ll be all like ‘Where’d all our souls go?’ and I’ll be like ‘yeh got em all bitches!’ and ya’ll all be crying and I’ll be like ‘Your tears taste delicicous. Word to yo mutha!’ ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-of-yall-want-to-sell-your-soul/545728/133 "2010-07-10T16:30:21Z")
> [@Barking\_Dog](#): > > Eh, you know how it is with these A cards. I was being metaphorical-like anyways. > > But still. I’m still gonna make a better hell, with new ideas. And you’ll be all like ‘Where’d all our souls go?’ and I’ll be like ‘yeh got em all bitches!’ and ya’ll all be crying and I’ll be like ‘Your tears taste delicicous. Word to yo mutha!’ A _better_ hell? You seem … confused. Anyway, we welcome all attempts at conquest. Even the Mouthless One. If you win you should obviously be in charge anyway, and if you lose the Boss eats you. ---
**Author:** ![Barking\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Barking\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barking_Dog)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-of-yall-want-to-sell-your-soul/545728/134 "2010-07-10T16:55:51Z")
I thought you said he doesn’t have a mouth. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-of-yall-want-to-sell-your-soul/545728/135 "2010-07-10T16:58:16Z")
> [@Barking\_Dog](#): > > I thought you said he doesn’t have a mouth. Neither does a bacteriophage. ---
**Author:** ![Barking\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Barking\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barking_Dog)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-of-yall-want-to-sell-your-soul/545728/136 "2010-07-10T18:05:06Z")
I thought he’d be bigger than a single-celled organism. Not very intimidating if you have to whip out a microscope to see your itty-witty-bitty dark lord. Not even worth the capital letters. Awwww who’s a big bad master of evil? So pwecious! :jingles keys at tiny satan: ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-of-yall-want-to-sell-your-soul/545728/137 "2010-07-10T18:13:39Z")
> [@Barking\_Dog](#): > > I thought he’d be bigger than a single-celled organism. Not very intimidating if you have to whip out a microscope to see your itty-witty-bitty dark lord. Not even worth the capital letters. > > Awwww who’s a big bad master of evil? So pwecious! :jingles keys at tiny satan: I didn’t say the Boss was microscopic. Anyway, if you wan to find out, invade! Win or lose, you’ll find out for your ownself. ---
**Author:** ![Barking\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Barking\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barking_Dog)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-of-yall-want-to-sell-your-soul/545728/138 "2010-07-10T18:36:49Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I didn’t say the Boss was microscopic. > > Anyway, if you wan to find out, invade! Win or lose, you’ll find out for your ownself. Invade? Why invade when I can lay siege to your major strongholds, while my assassins slip in the back way and inhume your captains and support staff. Always attack the middle of the command structure, I say. Weakest point. The generals are too well protected and don’t have the skills to organize logistics or lead the cannon fodder sufficiently. The captains and seargants are the only ones who know how to get things done, after all. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-of-yall-want-to-sell-your-soul/545728/139 "2010-07-10T18:41:09Z")
> [@Barking\_Dog](#): > > Invade? Why invade when I can lay siege to your major strongholds, while my assassins slip in the back way and inhume your captains and support staff. Always attack the middle of the command structure, I say. You think that’s not an invasion? ---
**Author:** ![Barking\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Barking\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barking_Dog)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2010, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-of-yall-want-to-sell-your-soul/545728/140 "2010-07-10T18:47:43Z")
Ok, point. You’re right, that is an invasion. Nevermind. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-of-yall-want-to-sell-your-soul/545728.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-of-yall-want-to-sell-your-soul/545728.md?page=8)