# Any of y'all want to sell your soul? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 6, 2010, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-of-yall-want-to-sell-your-soul/545728 "2010-07-06T16:15:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Perciful](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b38774/32.png) [@Perciful](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Perciful)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2010, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-of-yall-want-to-sell-your-soul/545728/141 "2010-07-11T04:01:27Z")
Nope, My soul isn’t for sale. I gave it to God for safe keeping. ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2010, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-of-yall-want-to-sell-your-soul/545728/142 "2010-07-11T04:04:24Z")
I can’t sell something that doesn’t exist, but if you’re willing to give me things that will make my life easier or more enjoyable because you think it does, then sure I’ll make a deal. ---
**Author:** ![Xan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/ac8455/32.png) [@Xan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xan)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2010, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-of-yall-want-to-sell-your-soul/545728/143 "2010-07-11T04:07:09Z")
I’ll sell my soul for all of the following: [ul] [li]Agelessness[/li][li]Immortality[/li][li]Enough money to buy the New England Revolution from Bob Kraft, build them a soccer specific stadium, and build a better team[/li][/ul] ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2010, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-of-yall-want-to-sell-your-soul/545728/144 "2010-07-11T10:22:06Z")
> [@LurkMeister](#): > > I can’t sell something that doesn’t exist, but if you’re willing to give me things that will make my life easier or more enjoyable because you think it does, then sure I’ll make a deal. There’s a problem with your logic there. ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2010, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-of-yall-want-to-sell-your-soul/545728/145 "2010-07-11T16:28:29Z")
Perhaps I should clarify: I don’t believe that I have a soul, so as far as I’m concerned you’re offering to purchase something that doesn’t exist. I am, however, willing to take advantage of your belief that I have one and accept your offer for certain goods or services in exchange for whatever you think you’re going to get for them. ---
**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2010, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-of-yall-want-to-sell-your-soul/545728/146 "2010-07-11T17:15:56Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > 😕 > > The Boss has no mouth. I thought everyone knew that. What DO they teach in these schools, anyway? “Jack has six apples, and you have two apples. Vote Democrat, and you can have four of Jack’s apples.” ETA: Conservative schools teach you that if you work hard, you too can have six apples. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2010, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-of-yall-want-to-sell-your-soul/545728/147 "2010-07-11T18:17:45Z")
> [@LurkMeister](#): > > Perhaps I should clarify: I don’t believe that I have a soul, so as far as I’m concerned you’re offering to purchase something that doesn’t exist. I am, however, willing to take advantage of your belief that I have one and accept your offer for certain goods or services in exchange for whatever you think you’re going to get for them. I understand that that is what you think. But I I buy your soul and then supply you with, say, endless youth, heat vision, $12,000,000,000 in cash, and the ability to see Taye Diggs naked whenever you wish, you may wish to consider we in the Diabolical Community know something you do not. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2010, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-of-yall-want-to-sell-your-soul/545728/148 "2010-07-11T18:19:33Z")
> [@ExTank](#): > > “Jack has six apples, and you have two apples. Vote Democrat, and you can have four of Jack’s apples.” > > ETA: Conservative schools teach you that if you work hard, you too can have six apples. In diabolical schools, it goes thusly: _Jack has six apples and you have two. If you kill Jack and eat two of his apples, how many do you have to sell to his widow? Extra credit: What is the best weapon to use for this purpose? Explain why._ ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2010, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-of-yall-want-to-sell-your-soul/545728/149 "2010-07-11T21:34:24Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I understand that that is what you think. But I I buy your soul and then supply you with, say, endless youth, heat vision, $12,000,000,000 in cash, and the ability to see Taye Diggs naked whenever you wish, you may wish to consider we in the Diabolical Community know something you do not. 😃 Sort of a reverse [Pascal’s Wager](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pascal%27s_Wager), eh? I guess I’ll just have to take my chances. Oh, and I wish to point out that Taye Diggs would not be my choice of someone I am interested in seeing naked in this life. ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Onimous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea5d25/32.png) [@Ann\_Onimous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Onimous)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2010, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-of-yall-want-to-sell-your-soul/545728/150 "2010-07-11T21:53:47Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > In diabolical schools, it goes thusly: > > _Jack has six apples and you have two. If you kill Jack and eat two of his apples, how many do you have to sell to his widow? Extra credit: What is the best weapon to use for this purpose? Explain why._ None, because you keep the remainder for yourself. Waterboarding works best: it’s a nice, slow form of torture, and if it doesn’t drive them mad or make them change to your point of view, then there’s one less person to worry about. ---
**Author:** ![CutterJohn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/91b2a8/32.png) [@CutterJohn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CutterJohn)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-of-yall-want-to-sell-your-soul/545728/151 "2010-07-13T05:00:06Z")
Are you in any way affiliated with Heck? I sold my soul to that crew a while back, and was thinking of refinancing the loan. The apple pie I got was delicious, but cash and succubabes is sounding pretty sweet too. On the other hand, I’m open to recruitment, and could surely find a suitable spot where I can be a valuable addition to the Hell team. Perhaps as a succubus trainer or something similar. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-of-yall-want-to-sell-your-soul/545728/152 "2010-07-13T14:14:16Z")
> [@Juliana](#): > > None, because you keep the remainder for yourself. Waterboarding works best: it’s a nice, slow form of torture, and if it doesn’t drive them mad or make them change to your point of view, then there’s one less person to worry about. I am forwarding your resume to the Boss. You show potential, and I think I can get you a position as a junior temper. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2010, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-of-yall-want-to-sell-your-soul/545728/153 "2010-07-13T14:40:33Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > I actually DID try to make a deal with the devil when I was 15 or 16, but never had any luck with it. Ummmm…Lynn, you’re an mod on the SDMB. You’re already in hell. 😃 Oh, and Skald - I can’t sell what I ain’t got. Sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Benikage](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/838e76/32.png) [@Benikage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Benikage)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2010, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-of-yall-want-to-sell-your-soul/545728/154 "2010-07-15T13:27:55Z")
what the content of sign it ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Nader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Darth\_Nader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Nader)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2010, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-of-yall-want-to-sell-your-soul/545728/155 "2010-07-16T00:29:53Z")
YES! I am so up for this! There’s this election I wanna help, and then I need to head a few PIRG meetings, and Chevy just made this new car that folks need to hear about-- it’s awesome! I won’t turn evil or come unstuck in time or anything, right? ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2010, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-of-yall-want-to-sell-your-soul/545728/156 "2010-07-16T15:26:15Z")
If I ask for enough power to “bestride the earth like unto a colossus”, can you give me specifics? And would His UnHoliness be for or against my gaining the ability to create all manner of freakish abominations? ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2010, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-of-yall-want-to-sell-your-soul/545728/157 "2010-07-16T17:26:22Z")
> [@Clothahump](#): > > Oh, and Skald - I can’t sell what I ain’t got. Sorry. Logically, if you believe you have no soul, you also think this transaction cannot harm you in any fashion, and thus you should be willing to dicker. So … let’s say $3,000,000 cash, a new car of your naming, and an infinite supply of hot wings. Can we shake on it? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-of-yall-want-to-sell-your-soul/545728.md?page=7)