All
Thank you very, very much. Even talking about my fear, letting it out into the open, is therapeutic for me. I appreciate your candid answers to what for most may seem so strange and trivial, but for me is intensely real and insane.
Mach Truck - I live in Alexandria, VA, and if you are anywhere near there I’d love to hear more about flying lessons (I’m new enough that I don’t know what PM means).
Again, thank you all. Well done.
Dan
Barracuda Welcome to the dope!
I understand completely the not being in control feeling. When I was in college i could never sleep on a Greyhound bus, unless I sat in the front row where I could see the road. I could sleep in the front row, because somehow I was in control. Kinda strange huh?
Anyway my last job had me flying a lot. I have over 600,000 miles in the last 15 years. When I started flying I felt a little apprehensive about take offs and landings. However about 10 years ago, I got cured of that. I got about an hour of flying in a commercial flight simulator. I found out some stuff.[ul]
[li]Flying is easy[/li][li]Takeoffs are easy (point it and punch it, pull back on the stick)[/li][li]Landing are hard.[/li][li]The worst commercial pilot you can conceive of will be at least 100X better at landing than you would on your first attempt[/li][/ul] After that experience I have no problems at all with any part of the flight. I agree with the other here that say a flying lesson might be a good way to go. Or at the very least if you know a pilot ask them to take you to the airport and out to the plane and explain how the airplane works. If you understand how something works, it is not so scary.
Good luck, and would you get that spider out of the corner for me?
I’m not sure why my husband, Asimovian, hasn’t made it in yet, but he successfully kicked his fear of flying. His story is very similar to yours: he was okay with flying until he was about 20ish, then was suddenly afraid to fly. He especially hated turbulence. Here’s the whole story about how he got over it: Aviators and flying enthusiasts -- a question for you - In My Humble Opinion - Straight Dope Message Board. However, just in case you want the cliff’s notes version, he went up in a small acrobatic plane and was allowed to take control of the stick for a large portion of the flight. Being in control helped him realize, on a gut level, that the turbulence isn’t a big deal. However, I’m sure Asimovian will come in and have some pearls of wisdom on the topic.
Don’t mind a bit if it helps.
The insurance I have covers up to 60 sessions/year with $15 copay/session. We don’t need referrals to specialists (I asked my PCP mostly because I had no idea who to look for and, ya know, calling around to ask was kind of not an option :rolleyes: 
)
It took me 6 sessions altogether to feel “cured”. The first 2 or 3 were mostly talk, trying to get at why I had issues with the phone (turned out it was kind of like stage fright, where I was so afraid of people judging me and making an idiot of myself that it became a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy.)
The later sessions were mostly dedicated to learning behavior modification (i.e .when starting to panic how to calm down) pretending to talk on the phone, practical stuff like write down what you want/need to ask so you won’t forget something important, then finally just calling someone from her office and being able to hold a phone conversation without flipping out.
I think it was being able to talk to someone about my problem who didn’t make fun of me that helped more than anything. (yeah, I mean you, dear sister, who kept telling everyone I was gonna end up on Maury alongside the people who are scared to death of cotton balls and aluminum foil :mad: )
I’m here, I’m here!
I think the thread jakeline linked to pretty much covers my before and after feelings on the subject, but I figured I’d update you to let you know that the “fix” has held. In July, I had to take four short flights over the course of a week, two of which were completely unplanned (car broke down in Vegas and had to be left behind). I had no issues whatsoever. In fact, one of the flights ended up being a bit turbulent, and I was sitting across from a commercial airline pilot who was catching a ride home. He and I got to chatting, and I explained to him how, prior to my flying “lesson,” I would have had my nails dug into the armrest and on the verge of tears. He couldn’t really believe that I had been that scared based on my (lack of) reaction in front of him.
He said that he thought my story was very cool, and he wished that everyone had the opportunity to fly a plane themselves.
Barracuda, whatever approach you take, just know that there’s hope for you. You’ll conquer it eventually.
Don’t look. Close your eyes, or read something, or prentend to go to sleep. I used to be the same way, now I just kind of vacate for the take-off and landing and I’m (mostly) fine. I’ll never love flying, but now I hate the whole airport hassle, more than the actual flight. I consider that splendid progress.
A PM is a private message. But it looks like we’re too far apart to make it worthwhile. I’d suggest calling a flight school and explaining your situation if you’re interested in taking an instructional flight.
Good luck!