# Any other Tolkien-fan "Bored of the Rings" abstainers? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 30, 2015, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-other-tolkien-fan-bored-of-the-rings-abstainers/723896 "2015-06-30T19:18:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2015, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-other-tolkien-fan-bored-of-the-rings-abstainers/723896/41 "2015-07-01T13:57:59Z")
I started reading Bored of the Rings a long time ago, and got to page 2 before giving up on it. Juvenile lame desperate comedy by a talentless giggling teenager. I’m sure I would’ve loved it at age 13, but at 23 it was sad and disappointing. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2015, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-other-tolkien-fan-bored-of-the-rings-abstainers/723896/42 "2015-07-01T14:36:24Z")
Color me not amused. It just didn’t appeal to my sense of humor, and I get what the OP is saying about such lengthy parodies feeling almost like disrespect. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2015, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-other-tolkien-fan-bored-of-the-rings-abstainers/723896/43 "2015-07-01T14:42:51Z")
I’m glad to see so many others connected to BOTR the way I did! Whenever I re-read FOTR and encounter Bombadil again, I can’t help but imagine him wearing an amulet imprinted with the elf-rune _Kelvinator_. And re-reading BOTR takes me back to my 14 year old self, a needed escape at times. The book led me into my NatLamp years, and got me following SNL obsessively for their first 5 or so seasons, too. I don’t know from great satire, but I know what I like. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2015, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-other-tolkien-fan-bored-of-the-rings-abstainers/723896/44 "2015-07-01T16:20:56Z")
Count me in the camp of “Loved LOTR, loved BOTR.” I agree that a parody can be based on loving the original work, or based on scorning the original work. Either can be successful. I think BOTR is in the former camp. Personally, BOTR has made me appreciate LOTR all the more. Whether I’m re-reading the book or re-watching the movies, it’s like I’m enjoying it on two different levels at the same time. “This is indeed a queer river,” said Bromosel, as the water lapped at his thighs. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2015, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-other-tolkien-fan-bored-of-the-rings-abstainers/723896/45 "2015-07-01T16:34:30Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > And after those parts, they get to the jokes, yes? 😃 Spike Jones did the eye joke 20 years before BotR. I should reread it to see if I find it any funnier today than before. I certainly got all the jokes, including the Mass. jokes since I went to the good university in Cambridge. I thought High School Yearbook was pretty good. They also did one, “Not the Bible” which was great. But parody is hard to keep up at very long lengths, even if your book is about 10% of the source material. However, my boredness with Bored may come from my not being a giant Tolkien fan. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2015, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-other-tolkien-fan-bored-of-the-rings-abstainers/723896/46 "2015-07-01T16:54:30Z")
I was always sort of disappointed and pissed off that the sex scene from the excerpt in the front cover isn’t actually in the book. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2015, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-other-tolkien-fan-bored-of-the-rings-abstainers/723896/47 "2015-07-01T17:08:34Z")
> [@Voyager](#): > > :I thought High School Yearbook was pretty good. The Sunday Newspaper Parody was just as good – and some of the characters were in both. My favorite was a pretty subtle subplot involving Larry Kroger and Tammy Croup. In the HS Yearbook, Larry clearly had an unreciprocated crush on Tammy Crump. In the newspaper, a front page article shows Larry attempts suicide. Later, there’s a small article about Tammy Croup, who’s a Hollywood star and who says, “I may have been happier if i stayed here. There was a boy — Larry Kroger – and I may have been better off with him.” The interview was on a TV program that aired just before Larry attempted suicide. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2015, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-other-tolkien-fan-bored-of-the-rings-abstainers/723896/48 "2015-07-01T17:20:50Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > And after those parts, they get to the jokes, yes? Yeah, I have to admit I am always really puzzled by discussions of this book. Exactly like **Miller** , I see people list the stuff that’s supposed to be the _really good jokes_ and I’m just left wondering, “how is that funny?” It reads to me like something some precocious 15 year olds (boys of course) came up with, who had no sense of when _not_ to commit something to paper. And hey maybe those kids may go on to great things (maybe?), but they’ll always cringe a little when reminded that they wrote this once. They’ll excuse themselves with a “we were kids…” ETA: I mean seriously–a metaphorical reference to eyes turns out to be literal? _That’s the joke_?? Am I in a Bugs Bunny cartoon? ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2015, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-other-tolkien-fan-bored-of-the-rings-abstainers/723896/49 "2015-07-01T17:27:01Z")
_BotR_ was sophomoric and stupid, but sometimes I like sophomoric and stupid. I appreciated both _Bored_ and _Lord_ after I had read both. > [@Trinopus](#): > > Open with “We Boggies are a hairy folk” as a password, and you’ll get the countersign, “Who like to eat until we choke.” “Loving all like friend and brother, And hardly ever eat each other.” Am I in the club? Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2015, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-other-tolkien-fan-bored-of-the-rings-abstainers/723896/50 "2015-07-01T17:33:13Z")
Enjoyed 'em both. From the Caucus of Orlon: > [@](#): > > “Arrowroot, son of Arrowshirt, heir of Barbisol and King of Minas Troney, at your service,” he said, rather loudly. > > Bromosel looked up to the top of the page and winced. “At least another chapter to go,” he groaned. > > “Then the Ring is yours,” cried Frito, and eagerly tossed it into Arrowroot’s hat. > > “Well, not exactly,” said Arrowroot, dangling the band at the end of its long chain. “Since it’s got magic powers, it belongs to someone more in the mumbo-jumbo, presto-changeo line. To wit, a wizard, for example,” and he neatly slipped the Ring over the end of Goodgulf’s wand. > > “Ah, yes, verily, in truth,” said Goodgulf quickly. “That is to say, yes and no. Or perhaps just plain no. As any fool can see, it’s a clear case of habeas corpus or tibia fibia, since although this particular gizmo was the work of a wizard–Sorhed, to be exact–this sort of thing was invented by elves, and he was only working under a license, you might say.” > > Orlon held the Ring in his hand as if it were an annoyed tarantula. “Nay,” he said, gravely, "I cannot claim this great prize, for it is said, ‘Finders keepers, losers weepers,’ " and brushing away an invisible tear, he looped the chain around Dildo’s neck. > > "And ‘Let dogs lie if they are sleepers,’ " said Dildo, and slipped it into Frito’s pocket. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2015, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-other-tolkien-fan-bored-of-the-rings-abstainers/723896/51 "2015-07-01T17:37:44Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > Enjoyed 'em both. From the Caucus of Orlon: None of that even made me crack a smile! Instead it was just annoying! So yes, I guess I am with Miller and with Frylock. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2015, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-other-tolkien-fan-bored-of-the-rings-abstainers/723896/52 "2015-07-01T17:46:49Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > None of that even made me crack a smile! Instead it was just annoying! So yes, I guess I am with Miller and with Frylock. I’m on this bandwagon. It has never made me laugh. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2015, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-other-tolkien-fan-bored-of-the-rings-abstainers/723896/53 "2015-07-01T17:47:09Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > None of that even made me crack a smile! Instead it was just annoying! My reaction exactly. It is, indeed, annoying, and nothing more! ETA: In fact though the humor is of a different type, my feeling on reading it is very much the same as my feeling on having _The Annoying Orange_ playing in the background while my kids are laughing uproariously over it. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2015, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-other-tolkien-fan-bored-of-the-rings-abstainers/723896/54 "2015-07-01T17:59:31Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > “Loving all like friend and brother, > And hardly ever eat each other.” “Anything edible we’ve got dibs on Hope we all die with our bibs on Ever gay, we’ll never grow up Come and sing and play and throw up” –done from memory, NOT googled. [sub]what a waste of perfectly good memory neurons[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2015, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-other-tolkien-fan-bored-of-the-rings-abstainers/723896/55 "2015-07-01T18:07:27Z")
“Ah, yes, verily, in truth,” said Goodgulf quickly. “That is to say, yes and no. Or perhaps just plain no.” I’ve used this bit of subtlety to agreeably disagree with many silly arguments. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2015, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-other-tolkien-fan-bored-of-the-rings-abstainers/723896/56 "2015-07-01T18:07:56Z")
It is vaguely reassuring to me that someone can hold a responsible position, and have a head just as chock full of trivia as I have. Regards, Shodan PS - “The same thing happened twice last month, Oh heaven help the working elf!” ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2015, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-other-tolkien-fan-bored-of-the-rings-abstainers/723896/57 "2015-07-01T18:13:41Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > PS - “The same thing happened twice last month, > Oh heaven help the working elf!” That quote triggered a sudden recitation of the whole poem, to no one in particular. “An elven maid there was of old, a stenographer by day…” I could go on but will let curious others look it up. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2015, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-other-tolkien-fan-bored-of-the-rings-abstainers/723896/58 "2015-07-01T18:15:56Z")
I can do pretty well from memory, but when copies of the book’s entire text are online, why settle for memory? Here’s Goodgulf’s encounter with the Ballhog: > [@](#): > > As Goodgulf stepped onto the bridge the passage echoed with an ominous dribble, dribble, and a great crowd of narcs burst forth. In their midst was a towering dark shadow too terrible to describe. In its hand it held a huge black globe and on its chest was written in cruel runes, “Villanova.” > “Aiyee,” shouted Legolam. “A ballhog!” > Goodgulf turned to face the dread shadow, and as he did, it slowly circled toward the bridge, bouncing the grim sphere as it came. The Wizard reeled back and, clutching at the ropes, raised his wand. “Back, vile hoopster,” he cried. > At this the ballhog strode forward onto the bridge, and stepping back, the wizard drew himself up to his full height and said, “Avaunt, thin-clad one!” > Arrowroot waved Krona. “He cannot hold the bridge,” he shouted and rushed forward. > “E pluribus unum,” cried Bromosel and leaped after him. > “Esso extra,” said Legolam, jumping behind him. > “Kaiser Frazer,” shouted Gimlet, running up to join them. > The ballhog sprang forward, and raising the dread globe over his head, uttered a triumphant cry. > “Dulce et decorum,” said Bromosel, hacking at the bridge. > “Above and beyond,” said Arrowroot, chopping a support. > “A far, far better thing,” said Legolam, slicing through the walkway. > “Nearer my God to thee,” hummed Gimlet, cutting the last stay with a quick ax stroke. > With a loud snap, the bridge collapsed, spilling Goodgulf and the ballhog into the abyss. Another favorite of mine is when they’re trying to get into Doria, and before they’re attacked by a Thesaraus (“Maim!” roared the monster. “Mutilate, mangle, crush. See HARM.”), Goodgulf is trying to figure out what magic word opens the door. Then: _Suddenly the Wizard sprang to his feet. “The knob,” he cried._ ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2015, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-other-tolkien-fan-bored-of-the-rings-abstainers/723896/59 "2015-07-01T18:21:55Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > That quote triggered a sudden recitation of the whole poem, to no one in particular. > > “An elven maid there was of old, > a stenographer by day…” > > I could go on but will let curious others look it up. > > 😃 Can’t forget “I sit on the floor and pick my nose…” ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2015, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-other-tolkien-fan-bored-of-the-rings-abstainers/723896/60 "2015-07-01T18:23:23Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > Can’t forget “I sit on the floor and pick my nose…” “And think of many things of deviant dwarves in rubber hose and elves who drub their drings” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-other-tolkien-fan-bored-of-the-rings-abstainers/723896.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-other-tolkien-fan-bored-of-the-rings-abstainers/723896.md?page=4)