# Any other Tolkien-fan "Bored of the Rings" abstainers? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 30, 2015, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-other-tolkien-fan-bored-of-the-rings-abstainers/723896 "2015-06-30T19:18:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2015, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-other-tolkien-fan-bored-of-the-rings-abstainers/723896/61 "2015-07-01T18:24:08Z")
I wonder if there is a correlation between not liking _Bored of the Rings_ and not liking Captain Janeway. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2015, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-other-tolkien-fan-bored-of-the-rings-abstainers/723896/62 "2015-07-01T18:25:03Z")
Like so many others, I can quote passages at length from BotR, but couldn’t even tell you half of the characters of LotR. In fact, if it wasn’t for the movies and the slot machines, the percentage would be even less. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2015, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-other-tolkien-fan-bored-of-the-rings-abstainers/723896/63 "2015-07-01T18:26:06Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > I wonder if there is a correlation between not liking _Bored of the Rings_ and not liking Captain Janeway. \*\*CP \*\*- No. I love BotR and absolutely _loathe_ Janeway. To the point of regarding her the same way I regard _Highlander 2_. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2015, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-other-tolkien-fan-bored-of-the-rings-abstainers/723896/64 "2015-07-01T18:38:35Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > I wonder if there is a correlation between not liking _Bored of the Rings_ and not liking Captain Janeway. Huh? Why? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2015, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-other-tolkien-fan-bored-of-the-rings-abstainers/723896/65 "2015-07-01T18:43:47Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > Can’t forget “I sit on the floor and pick my nose…” And I believe it’s “I sit on the _pot_ and pick my nose”. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2015, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-other-tolkien-fan-bored-of-the-rings-abstainers/723896/66 "2015-07-01T18:50:33Z")
Wellllllll…I think I’ve read enough in this thread. Count me in as a continuing abstainer. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2015, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-other-tolkien-fan-bored-of-the-rings-abstainers/723896/67 "2015-07-01T19:18:10Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > I wonder if there is a correlation between not liking _Bored of the Rings_ and not liking Captain Janeway. I’m okay with Captain Janeway. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2015, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-other-tolkien-fan-bored-of-the-rings-abstainers/723896/68 "2015-07-01T19:20:28Z")
Like okay, sorry to keep on with this, but please indulge my curiosity. What kind of funny are we talking about here? Like, do you have to stop reading because you’re laughing so hard? Or do you just kind of chuckle? Or is it just that you find a grin happening while you read? Or what? ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2015, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-other-tolkien-fan-bored-of-the-rings-abstainers/723896/69 "2015-07-01T19:58:23Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > None of that even made me crack a smile! Instead it was just annoying! So yes, I guess I am with Miller and with Frylock. BotR to me is much like reading the screenplay to a great comedy movie like, say, Airplane or Caddyshack. The wordplay and narrative isn’t nearly clever enough to succeed on its own merits, and seems random and simple. It lays a foundation for serious laughs that are dependent on the delivery of the lines. In the case of the movies, the director and actors push it into hilarity. BotR lacks any additional support and depends purely on its words, which then rely on the reader’s minds-eye to coax it into being funny. Unlike truly clever comedy writing that can stand on its own like from Adams, Pratchett, or Morgenstern, BotR needs the reader’s willingness to ante up the laughs to make up for its shortcomings. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2015, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-other-tolkien-fan-bored-of-the-rings-abstainers/723896/70 "2015-07-01T21:40:06Z")
> [@GargoyleWB](#): > > BotR needs the reader’s willingness to ante up the laughs to make up for its shortcomings. Much like my own humor. At least according to my daughters. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2015, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-other-tolkien-fan-bored-of-the-rings-abstainers/723896/71 "2015-07-01T21:41:46Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > I can do pretty well from memory, but when copies of the book’s entire text are online, why settle for memory? > > Here’s Goodgulf’s encounter with the Ballhog: > Another favorite of mine is when they’re trying to get into Doria, and before they’re attacked by a Thesaraus (“Maim!” roared the monster. “Mutilate, mangle, crush. See HARM.”), Goodgulf is trying to figure out what magic word opens the door. Then: _Suddenly the Wizard sprang to his feet. “The knob,” he cried._ Well, I was wrong about it being funny when you’re 15. Maybe 12, tops. My 15 year old self would have thought it witless and puerile. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2015, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-other-tolkien-fan-bored-of-the-rings-abstainers/723896/72 "2015-07-01T21:48:38Z")
> [@Penfeather](#): > > Well, I was wrong about it being funny when you’re 15. Maybe 12, tops. My 15 year old self would have thought it witless and puerile. Meh, it’s funny. ---
**Author:** ![racepug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@racepug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racepug)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2015, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-other-tolkien-fan-bored-of-the-rings-abstainers/723896/73 "2015-07-01T22:00:00Z")
I’ve read both. I’m a HUGE fan of LoTR and at the same time I found BoTR to be QUITE entertaining. But I concede that some of its references are somewhat dated (matter of fact I enlisted some help from my wife - 11 years [2 months and 3 weeks] my senior - in finding out what some of the terms in BoTR mean). ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2015, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-other-tolkien-fan-bored-of-the-rings-abstainers/723896/74 "2015-07-01T23:37:31Z")
I sit on the floor and pick my nose and think of dirty things Of deviant dwarves who suck their toes and elves who drup their dings. I sit on the floor and pick my nose and dream exotic dreams Of dragons who dress in rubber clothes and trolls who do it in teams I sit on the floor and pick my nose and wish for a thrill or two For a goblin who goes in for a few no-noes Or an orc with a thing about glue. And all of the while I sit and pick I think of such jolly things Of whips and screws and leather slacks Of frottages and stings. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2015, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-other-tolkien-fan-bored-of-the-rings-abstainers/723896/75 "2015-07-01T23:39:29Z")
The best line in the whole book: “THE KNOB!” ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2015, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-other-tolkien-fan-bored-of-the-rings-abstainers/723896/76 "2015-07-01T23:42:46Z")
> [@AncientHumanoid](#): > > I sit on the floor and pick my nose > and think of dirty things > Of deviant dwarves who suck their toes > and elves who drup their dings. > > I sit on the floor and pick my nose > and dream exotic dreams > Of dragons who dress in rubber clothes > and trolls who do it in teams > > I sit on the floor and pick my nose > and wish for a thrill or two > For a goblin who goes in for a few no-noes > Or an orc with a thing about glue. > > And all of the while I sit and pick > I think of such jolly things > Of whips and screws and leather slacks > Of frottages and stings. As teens in High School, my buddy and I set this to guitar chords and performed it in our music class. Yeah, we got a lot of tail. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2015, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-other-tolkien-fan-bored-of-the-rings-abstainers/723896/77 "2015-07-01T23:43:18Z")
If I just read the forward, I probably would have given up on it. It seemed like Oglaf in text form. Now that I’ve read a little more, I’m intrigued. ---
**Author:** ![AtomicDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ac91a4/32.png) [@AtomicDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AtomicDog)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2015, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-other-tolkien-fan-bored-of-the-rings-abstainers/723896/78 "2015-07-02T00:02:14Z")
“It’s a pity I’ve run out of bullets.” I still use that line every chance I get. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2015, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-other-tolkien-fan-bored-of-the-rings-abstainers/723896/79 "2015-07-02T00:08:13Z")
> [@AncientHumanoid](#): > > The best line in the whole book: > > “THE KNOB!” No, the best line is “don’t prefer machines more complicated than a garotte or a Luger.” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![OttoDaFe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ottodafe/32/356_2.png) [@OttoDaFe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OttoDaFe)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2015, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-other-tolkien-fan-bored-of-the-rings-abstainers/723896/80 "2015-07-02T05:33:10Z")
One of my favorite exchanges:Lavalier sighed deeply. “Your journey is long and hard,” she said. “Yes,” said Cellophane, “you bear a great burden.” “Your enemies are powerful and merciless,” said Lavalier. “You have much to fear,” said Cellophane. “You leave at dawn,” said Lavalier.Which in turn brings to mind:“So be it. You shall leave when the omens are right,” said Orlon, consulting a pocket horoscope, “and unless I’m very much mistaken, they will be unmatched in half an hour.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-other-tolkien-fan-bored-of-the-rings-abstainers/723896.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-other-tolkien-fan-bored-of-the-rings-abstainers/723896.md?page=5)