# Any self-help book recommendations on silencing an "inner critic"? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 13, 2011, 9:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-self-help-book-recommendations-on-silencing-an-inner-critic/581766 "2011-05-13T09:51:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 4\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 9:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-self-help-book-recommendations-on-silencing-an-inner-critic/581766/1 "2011-05-13T09:51:34Z")
Here’s my problem. Anyone know a book (or term) to go with it? Whenever I get something done, I have this reflex: “It wasn’t that hard, I should have done it better, and sooner”. Or: “Anyone could have done that, so I shouldn’t have had trouble with it, I’m So Intelligent after all”. It don’t have the kind of inner critic that belittles me personally, I don’t tell myself I am ugly or a loser or anything like that. It is just about my efforts, which should always be better then they are. I am a psychologist, but it took me 40 year to see it like that. All those years I thought my inner critic was right, was just telling an uncomfortable truth! Of course I could have worked harder, done more. Look what I accomplished when I finally stopped procrastinating the night before any exam and got to work. But hope sprang eternal, and I told myself that I would do better in the future. Then a mid-life crisis set in, I had a kid, had no time anymore, and all I could do was half-assing everything even more then before and hoping to get by. Forced to admit that no, I am not going to live up to my potential anytime soon, I could either admit that maybe my standards are too high, or I could get out the mental whip and start flogging my self. Which is painful, and also, ew. So, any how-to guides on this? ---
**Author:** ![Merneith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@Merneith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merneith)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-self-help-book-recommendations-on-silencing-an-inner-critic/581766/2 "2011-05-13T10:24:14Z")
You might look into cognitive behavior therapy. It’s designed to do exactly what you want - shut up that inner critic. I’ve had a lot of success with it but of course, each of us is different. Feeling Good the New Mood Therapy is, despite its dippy name, a well known book that gives a good explanation of what CBT is and practical ways you can implement it in your life. It’s a pretty easy read, too. It was first published in 1980 and it’s still relevant today. > **[Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy: David D. Burns: 8580001040905: Amazon.com:...](https://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-New-Mood-Therapy/dp/0380810336)** > > Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy \[David D. Burns\] on Amazon.com. \*FREE\* shipping on qualifying offers. Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy You might also consider the books by Albert Ellis. Ellis did the initial work on which CBT was based. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-self-help-book-recommendations-on-silencing-an-inner-critic/581766/3 "2011-05-13T12:56:06Z")
A very simple and effective book for me: [There is Nothing Wrong With You](http://www.amazon.com/There-Nothing-Wrong-You-Self-Hate/dp/0971030901) by Cheri Huber. It’s a quick read but for me it can really help turn my attitude around. Huber is a Zen teacher, so it definitely has a Buddhist orientation, but not explicitly so, just in terms of the ideas presented. Good luck fighting your inner critic. It can be a lifelong battle. ETA: Strongly second either David Burns or Ellis for CBT. Ellis is a little hardcore in his approach, though… maybe not what you’re looking for when you’re already feeling vulnerable to criticism. ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-self-help-book-recommendations-on-silencing-an-inner-critic/581766/4 "2011-05-13T13:15:05Z")
> [@Merneith](#): > > Feeling Good the New Mood Therapy is, despite its dippy name, a well known book that gives a good explanation of what CBT is and practical ways you can implement it in your life. It’s a pretty easy read, too. It was first published in 1980 and it’s still relevant today. > [Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy: David D. Burns: 8580001040905: Amazon.com: Books](http://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-Therapy-Revised-Updated/dp/0380810336/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1305281903&sr=8-1) Seconded. It’s not necessarily easy, but you can retrain your thoughts. I also recommend the “Feeling Good Handbook” to go along with it, but read the other book first so you can really understand what you’re doing.