# Any Straight Dopers in Assboink, Idaho? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 30, 1999, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-straight-dopers-in-assboink-idaho/2759 "1999-10-30T03:53:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![SanibelMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@SanibelMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanibelMan)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 1999, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-straight-dopers-in-assboink-idaho/2759/21 "1999-10-31T22:50:00Z")
Hey, does anyone know where Satan and heatherlee are moving to after they get married (if they do)? 'Cause I think I might have an idea… ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 1999, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-straight-dopers-in-assboink-idaho/2759/22 "1999-10-31T23:46:00Z")
## Sanibel… YOW!!! That was a classic…I’m speechless. I can’t believe I missed that. ::high five:: Zette A friend is someone who likes you even though you’re as ugly as a hat full of assholes. [Zettecity](http://www.angelfire.com/ny3/zettecity/index.html) ---
**Author:** ![ChrisCTP](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@ChrisCTP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisCTP)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 1999, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-straight-dopers-in-assboink-idaho/2759/23 "1999-11-01T04:48:00Z")
> [@](#): > > I was particularly amused with ChrisCTP ordering me off the board, as if he wasn’t just some fuckwit member like the rest of us. Agreed. ChrisCTP is indeed a fuckwit. That is why SHE checks out the board two or three times a day rather than tending to HER real life. Except I didn’t order you off the board. I told you to take your trolling elsewhere. In fact, you were trolling, as your (albiet humorously worded) OP suggested that the members of this board were desperate and was obviously designed to provoke defensive responses. Glad to know that I could provide you with your amusement for the day, though. * * * “ChrisCTP-…the sweetheart of the SDMB…” --Diane Chris’ Homepage: [Domestic Bliss](http://www2.crosswinds.net/~domesticbliss/) ---
**Author:** ![Triskadecamus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@Triskadecamus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Triskadecamus)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 1999, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-straight-dopers-in-assboink-idaho/2759/24 "1999-11-01T06:10:00Z")
Does this mean that there isn’t going to be a party? ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 1999, 9:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-straight-dopers-in-assboink-idaho/2759/25 "1999-11-01T09:38:00Z")
Revtim said: " Go felch yourself, ya flaming ass lizard! " Wow ! If ‘Go Felch Yourself !’ is gonna be the new expletive, I’m deifnately moving into the 5 foot bending straw business. Straws !! Get your telescopic flexible straws here ! Only $4.95 each ! - Coldfire, still wondering about some biological limitations regarding auto-felching… especially the deposit-part… \* * * * Coldfire * * * “You know how complex women are” - Neil Peart, Rush (1993) ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 1999, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-straight-dopers-in-assboink-idaho/2759/26 "1999-11-01T17:24:00Z")
To give credit where credit is due, I got the “go felch yourself” line from somebody else on this board. Don’t remember who, though. I don’t see why anybody would have problems with the deposit part though… – RevDirkDiggler ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 1999, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-straight-dopers-in-assboink-idaho/2759/27 "1999-11-01T17:35:00Z")
I think it was Alphagene. Or “Der FelchMeister,” as he’s known around town. * * * Uke ---
**Author:** ![Alphagene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Alphagene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alphagene)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 1999, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-straight-dopers-in-assboink-idaho/2759/28 "1999-11-01T21:14:00Z")
Naw, 'tweren’t me, Uke. I prefer the term “Bubblefuck, Idaho.” Besides, I’m not afraid to flame under my real name! Or am I going to have to remind you of my love of threads involving felines with soft stools? * * * Back off, man. I’m a scientist. ---
**Author:** ![Flypsyde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Flypsyde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flypsyde)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 1999, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-straight-dopers-in-assboink-idaho/2759/29 "1999-11-01T21:19:00Z")
Now, see, _I’d_ always heard it as “Bumblefuck”-actually, West Bumblefuck, Iowa. But my personal favorite (courtesy of my father), is Bullpecker Falls, Minnesota. * * * And the problem with small furry animals in corners is that, just occasionally, one of them’s a mongoose. Terry Pratchett, _Witches Abroad_ ---
**Author:** ![Alphagene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Alphagene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alphagene)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 1999, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-straight-dopers-in-assboink-idaho/2759/30 "1999-11-01T21:20:00Z")
Oh, felch me. Nevermind my last post. I’m getting my threads confused. Felching should be easy for me, considering my head is up my ass today… * * * Back off, man. I’m a scientist. ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 1999, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-straight-dopers-in-assboink-idaho/2759/31 "1999-11-01T22:59:00Z")
No, no, no - It’s Bumfuck Egypt * * * \>^,^\< KITTEN Seven days of sex makes a whole week. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 1999, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-straight-dopers-in-assboink-idaho/2759/32 "1999-11-01T23:07:00Z")
Yup, I always heard Bumfuck, Egypt. Although its not nearly as humorous as Assboink, Idaho. Hi Diane. 😉 * * * **Dopeler effect:** The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 1999, 9:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-straight-dopers-in-assboink-idaho/2759/33 "1999-11-02T09:50:00Z")
Revtim, When auto-felching (so, felching yourself), I would imagine depositing the liquids to be felched with the aforementioned straw (incidently available at Coldfire Chains ‘n’ Whips, Inc.) have to be deposited by yourself too. Now, I dunno about you, but in a non-flaccid state, the male member would be a hard thing to shove up one’s OWN ass. Unless you take the definition of auto-felching less literal, in which case your best mate can do the depositing whereas you restrict yourself to the straw action (straws still available ! order now ! etc. etc.). ## Please enjoy your breakfast, America. Now, back to our live coverage from Assboink, Idaho… Coldfire * * * “You know how complex women are” - Neil Peart, Rush (1993) ---
**Author:** ![jazzmine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jazzmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jazzmine)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 1999, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-straight-dopers-in-assboink-idaho/2759/34 "1999-11-02T15:03:00Z")
Am I the only one that has noticed Coldfire’s _fascination_ with felching? trisha ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 1999, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-straight-dopers-in-assboink-idaho/2759/35 "1999-11-02T16:28:00Z")
Hiiiiii UnnnnncleBeeeeeerrrrr 😉 Oh yeah, I have noticed the felching thing too. * * * \>^,^\< KITTEN Seven days of sex makes a whole week. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 1999, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-straight-dopers-in-assboink-idaho/2759/36 "1999-11-02T16:33:00Z")
Huh… just because I have a vivid imaginatiom doesn’t mean I’m fascinated by it… _grumble_ ## OK, I’ll stop talking about the felching thing as soon as someone buys these here 1 million telescopic straws from me 🙂 Coldfire * * * “You know how complex women are” - Neil Peart, Rush (1993) ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 1999, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-straight-dopers-in-assboink-idaho/2759/37 "1999-11-02T16:37:00Z")
Cfire, I’ll buy the damn things if that’s all it takes to make you stop. * * * **Dopeler effect:** The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. ---
**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 1999, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-straight-dopers-in-assboink-idaho/2759/38 "1999-11-02T17:05:00Z")
Coldfire, I have no use for the straws, however, I might be willing to order some whips, chains and leather underware from you. After all Christmas is almost upon us ! The LION be surprised to see his sweet wife decked out like that. Better make the chains heavy duty, I have a feeling he will try to fight me when he woke up to the first flick of the whip ! * * * Ayesha - Lioness * * * You sound reasonable. Must be time to up my medication. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 1999, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-straight-dopers-in-assboink-idaho/2759/39 "1999-11-02T17:21:00Z")
## I was kidding before, but I’m pretty sure I’m gonna start up that Chains ‘n’ Whips joint for real now 🙂 Coldfire * * * “You know how complex women are” - Neil Peart, Rush (1993) ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 1999, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-straight-dopers-in-assboink-idaho/2759/40 "1999-11-02T17:21:00Z")
## I was kidding before, but I’m pretty sure I’m gonna start up that Chains ‘n’ Whips joint for real now 🙂 Coldfire * * * “You know how complex women are” - Neil Peart, Rush (1993) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-straight-dopers-in-assboink-idaho/2759.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-straight-dopers-in-assboink-idaho/2759.md?page=3)