# Any strategies for becoming less of a grouch? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 28, 2015, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-strategies-for-becoming-less-of-a-grouch/736013 "2015-10-28T20:43:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2015, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-strategies-for-becoming-less-of-a-grouch/736013/41 "2015-11-01T23:08:16Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > I get grumpy when I don’t have time to myself. Are you giving yourself enough quality “me” time? This right here. I think I’m going through this right now in my adjustment phase as a new wife. Fortunately, my husband seems to understand when I need my me time. He volunteered to go grocery shopping this afternoon and that allowed me to recharge. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2015, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-strategies-for-becoming-less-of-a-grouch/736013/42 "2015-11-03T01:01:23Z")
I suggest that the OP cultivate the demeanor known as “silent rage”. Study Clint Eastwood and Lee Marvin – you want to be able to shut people up with a look. It’s arguable whether this is less grouchy, but it’s certainly less snippy. ---
**Author:** ![Jeff\_Lichtman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeff_lichtman/32/1531_2.png) [@Jeff\_Lichtman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff_Lichtman)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2015, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-strategies-for-becoming-less-of-a-grouch/736013/43 "2015-11-03T01:14:24Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > I suggest that the OP cultivate the demeanor known as “silent rage”. Study Clint Eastwood and Lee Marvin – you want to be able to shut people up with a look. I think it’s better not to be angry when you have little to be angry about. **Lowdown** , we haven’t heard from you in a little while. People have given some advice and asked some questions. What do you think? ---
**Author:** ![HeXen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@HeXen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeXen)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2015, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-strategies-for-becoming-less-of-a-grouch/736013/44 "2015-11-03T01:19:34Z")
For me it’s because I have less tolerance. Especially when I’m 39 and I have put forth the effort to grow and mature, change habits for the good only to see people older than I am that act like children or can’t control their behaviors, have no self discipline…etc. For example, I purposefully have changed eating habits over the years to where I eat or drink unhealthy things on rare occasion, as a treat then I see someone who weights 300b’s and eats junk every single day without a first thought…just like a child would do. It’s just a pure lack of self discipline and these people are fully grown adults…it makes me sick and I have no tolerance for such people so I yeah I get pissy because I have certain expectations of people based on their age. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2015, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-strategies-for-becoming-less-of-a-grouch/736013/45 "2015-11-03T10:47:08Z")
The problem, HeXen, would appear to be you having expectations of people who owe you nothing. Maybe work on changing that using the same techiques you used to change your eating habits. OTOH, maybe feeling outraged and superior is too enjoyable to give up. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2015, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-strategies-for-becoming-less-of-a-grouch/736013/46 "2015-11-03T14:40:23Z")
Get in the habit of doing at least one mitzvah a day. Do something nice for someone else with no expectation of a return. Do it because it makes you a better person. And it will. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2015, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-strategies-for-becoming-less-of-a-grouch/736013/47 "2015-11-03T15:45:06Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Get in the habit of doing at least one mitzvah a day. Do something nice for someone else with no expectation of a return. Do it because it makes you a better person. > > And it will. I usually buy a drink for someone when I’m out relaxing. A bar-mitvah? Oy vey ! ---
**Author:** ![Lowdown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c57346/32.png) [@Lowdown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lowdown)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2015, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-strategies-for-becoming-less-of-a-grouch/736013/48 "2015-11-03T16:11:47Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > I get grumpy when I don’t have time to myself. Are you giving yourself enough quality “me” time? I get the same way. With two tiny-ass kids it’s nearly impossible to get _enough_ alone time, but my wife and I do okay with it. I’m certain the decline in me-time isn’t helping, but the problem is more of a generally lower threshold for dealing with annoyances. > [@you\_with\_the\_face](#): > > Have you had any big life changes recently? When did the grouchiness start and did this coincide with an event or an experience? Well, the two little kids have totally amped up the everyday stress level, but it feels like this has been a slow buildup over time. > [@Jeff\_Lichtman](#): > > I think it’s better not to be angry when you have little to be angry about. > > **Lowdown** , we haven’t heard from you in a little while. People have given some advice and asked some questions. What do you think? Thanks for all the advice, guys! This is great. Making the post seems to have helped a bit, because now I feel like my pissy attitude is being tracked and monitored! Heh. Seriously though, while I’ve admitted it to myself and talked to my wife about it, it’s been one of those things that you try at a little but tend to let slide for more immediate things. But now I’ve gone and told a bunch of internet strangers so it’s time to get my shit together. Soooooo, after my first marriage ended I went into a serious funk, for a long ass time. The way I finally snapped out of that was by immediately trying to switch my thoughts to something Better when I caught myself sliding into woe-is-me territory. This sounds easy but it isn’t. I really had to work at it and stay on top of it. As soon as I had that first sad-sack thought, I’d switch gears or get up and do something, anything, and eventually I stopped thinking about those things. Anyway, I’ve been trying the same thing with this. Again, it’s not easy, because it can be hard to come down from that burning rage at the pair of socks left on the floor. You know? It’s been working. I think I got pissed at maybe one or two things at home this week, but only for a few seconds. Also made a few half-assed attempts at road rage, but my heart wasn’t in it. Takes the fun out of it. ---
**Author:** ![ThisSpaceForRent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thisspaceforrent/32/345_2.png) [@ThisSpaceForRent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThisSpaceForRent)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2015, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-strategies-for-becoming-less-of-a-grouch/736013/49 "2015-11-03T19:50:11Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Yep. The rare times that I run out I notice little shit really grates. I third this answer…life is too short to smoke Schwag…get the KGB [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-strategies-for-becoming-less-of-a-grouch/736013.md?page=2)