# Any tattoos you have suddenly come alive and try to kill you. How screwed are you? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 28, 2017, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-tattoos-you-have-suddenly-come-alive-and-try-to-kill-you-how-screwed-are-you/797550 "2017-09-28T23:00:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![JHBoom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/13edae/32.png) [@JHBoom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JHBoom)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2017, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-tattoos-you-have-suddenly-come-alive-and-try-to-kill-you-how-screwed-are-you/797550/21 "2017-09-29T18:13:36Z")
Wife’s name, so… two wives. Not sure if excited or scared. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2017, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-tattoos-you-have-suddenly-come-alive-and-try-to-kill-you-how-screwed-are-you/797550/22 "2017-09-29T18:36:45Z")
I think the pink butterfly on my sprig of ivy would just fly away. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2017, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-tattoos-you-have-suddenly-come-alive-and-try-to-kill-you-how-screwed-are-you/797550/23 "2017-09-29T19:31:23Z")
My octopus would be scary. My mermaid would take my mind off the octopus. My NOLA zombie would kill all of us. ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2017, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-tattoos-you-have-suddenly-come-alive-and-try-to-kill-you-how-screwed-are-you/797550/24 "2017-09-29T19:57:33Z")
I got a snake that’s going to be pissed because I’ve already made 1 attempt on its life, with more scheduled. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2017, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-tattoos-you-have-suddenly-come-alive-and-try-to-kill-you-how-screwed-are-you/797550/25 "2017-09-29T19:57:48Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > I’ve got a little gray spot on the heel of my right hand where a kid stabbed me with a pencil in middle school. What counts as “full sized” for one of those? > > Anyway, I’m pretty sure that I’ll be OK. Worst case, I get a free pencil. Those are always useful. Like this, kinda, only I have three. All from the same kid - me. 'Cause everyone knows that putting the pencil in your back pocket point down would cause it poke you in the butt when you sat. Or some logic like that. Anyway, I feel pretty safe. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2017, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-tattoos-you-have-suddenly-come-alive-and-try-to-kill-you-how-screwed-are-you/797550/26 "2017-09-29T20:15:42Z")
[My only tattoo](https://orig03.deviantart.net/637e/f/2016/123/a/c/bi__crescent_moon_symbol_by_pride_flags-da12fqf.png), so I guess it would have to depend on whether they were actually the size of crescent moons or not. ---
**Author:** ![SingleMalt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/singlemalt/32/3961_2.png) [@SingleMalt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SingleMalt)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2017, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-tattoos-you-have-suddenly-come-alive-and-try-to-kill-you-how-screwed-are-you/797550/27 "2017-09-29T21:38:12Z")
I have the Eye of Sauron on one shoulder. I think we’d all be screwed. Especially the hobbits. ---
**Author:** ![dwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dwyr/32/363_2.png) [@dwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwyr)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2017, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-tattoos-you-have-suddenly-come-alive-and-try-to-kill-you-how-screwed-are-you/797550/28 "2017-09-29T22:39:13Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > I’ve got a little gray spot on the heel of my right hand where a kid stabbed me with a pencil in middle school. What counts as “full sized” for one of those? > > Anyway, I’m pretty sure that I’ll be OK. Worst case, I get a free pencil. Those are always useful. Likewise, my only tattoo is a little dot on my index finger from being stabbed with a glass sliver covered in india ink. I think I’m good. ---
**Author:** ![leftfield6](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leftfield6/32/18780_2.png) [@leftfield6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leftfield6)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2017, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-tattoos-you-have-suddenly-come-alive-and-try-to-kill-you-how-screwed-are-you/797550/29 "2017-09-29T23:12:06Z")
I have a string of amino acids on one shoulder. No idea what that would do if they were animated. None of my other tats are viable in this scenario. ---
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2017, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-tattoos-you-have-suddenly-come-alive-and-try-to-kill-you-how-screwed-are-you/797550/30 "2017-09-30T00:19:04Z")
hmmm, well nothing for y’all to fear from me. I’d maybe get a nasty cut on my leg and maybe a couple of burns, but otherwise it’s just skulls, regardless of how funky and groovy they look. OTOH, I’m looking into a possible Santa Muerte tat in the near future sooo, timing might be everything. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2017, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-tattoos-you-have-suddenly-come-alive-and-try-to-kill-you-how-screwed-are-you/797550/31 "2017-09-30T00:26:14Z")
I’ve got a black panther that’s looking really pissed off. Hopefully I can get a door closed between me and it before it decides what it’s upset about. I suppose it’s a good thing I never got around to that Cthulhu tat. ---
**Author:** ![racer72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/racer72/32/3075_2.png) [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2017, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-tattoos-you-have-suddenly-come-alive-and-try-to-kill-you-how-screwed-are-you/797550/32 "2017-09-30T17:27:28Z")
I have an anchor on my left arm. Guess I would have to say away from large bodies of water. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2017, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-tattoos-you-have-suddenly-come-alive-and-try-to-kill-you-how-screwed-are-you/797550/33 "2017-09-30T17:43:47Z")
All I have is freckles. Will Howdy Doody come, to Destroy Us All? Destroy Us All… Destroy Us All… Destroy Us All… ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2017, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-tattoos-you-have-suddenly-come-alive-and-try-to-kill-you-how-screwed-are-you/797550/34 "2017-09-30T19:30:37Z")
Hmm. I’m in the market for a new tattoo lately and I’ve considered an Americana pin-up. This thread gives me fresh perspective. ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2017, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-tattoos-you-have-suddenly-come-alive-and-try-to-kill-you-how-screwed-are-you/797550/35 "2017-10-01T01:11:41Z")
I guess I’d be left with three gorgeous narcissus blossoms and some greenery. No thorns and not poisonous, so I’m guess I’m safe. I also have a grey speck on my right knee where I got stabbed by a pencil in first grade…over 40 years ago. I think I’d kind of miss it if it was gone. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2017, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-tattoos-you-have-suddenly-come-alive-and-try-to-kill-you-how-screwed-are-you/797550/36 "2017-10-01T05:55:40Z")
I have no tattoos myself. My wife, though, has our son’s name (in Hebrew) on her left forearm, the phrase “Lego Ergo Sum” on her right shoulder, and a cherub reading a book on her torso. The only potential problem there would be the cherub, and he’s pretty small and chubby. He might bop her on the head with his book. ---
**Author:** ![Gleena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b3f665/32.png) [@Gleena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gleena)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2017, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-tattoos-you-have-suddenly-come-alive-and-try-to-kill-you-how-screwed-are-you/797550/37 "2017-10-01T20:52:59Z")
Not too much trouble - A stylised bird, three moths, a stylised sparrow and a humming bird, and a little kitty. And the Lady Justice, who is blindfolded and unlikely to hurt me. I mean the Opera House and the Sydney Harbour Bridge would squash me, I guess. Other than that, I have roses, iris, and a plectrum. So no trouble there, I guess. (Yes, that’s more than one tattoo.) ---
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2017, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-tattoos-you-have-suddenly-come-alive-and-try-to-kill-you-how-screwed-are-you/797550/38 "2017-10-02T14:27:01Z")
**Idle Thoughts** , I don’t think you’ve thought this through completely with respect to inanimate objects being harmless. The Raven on my shoulder is probably not going to be an issue as he’ll likely perch nearby. The mountain directly behind him however will be when it crushes the city. So, pretty much screwed. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2017, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-tattoos-you-have-suddenly-come-alive-and-try-to-kill-you-how-screwed-are-you/797550/39 "2017-10-02T14:44:33Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > If the star on my arm turned into an actual star, we’re all fucked. Seconded. So, between the two of us, all life on Earth is destroyed, I reckon. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2017, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-tattoos-you-have-suddenly-come-alive-and-try-to-kill-you-how-screwed-are-you/797550/40 "2017-10-04T17:42:48Z")
The treble clef on my right ankle probably wouldn’t be much of a problem, but the wolf on my upper left arm… :eek: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-tattoos-you-have-suddenly-come-alive-and-try-to-kill-you-how-screwed-are-you/797550.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-tattoos-you-have-suddenly-come-alive-and-try-to-kill-you-how-screwed-are-you/797550.md?page=3)