# Any transgender Dopers?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-transgender-dopers/622685
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [May 22, 2012, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-transgender-dopers/622685 "2012-05-22T02:34:11Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@surrounded\_by\_literalists](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/surrounded_by_literalists)
#### Post date: [May 22, 2012, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-transgender-dopers/622685/1 "2012-05-22T02:34:11Z")
Recently I have become well aquainted with two women who used to be guys. Both are wonderful people who seem content with their choices. In the course talking with these women, I have become aware of a number of different issues surrounding the transgender community that I have never really considered until now. Because I fear being rude and insensitive, I have resisted ‘grilling’ my new friends about their experiences. Also, no two people have the same experiences.
So… Any transgender Dopers…
Was the change all you thought it would be?
What are the downsides of changing gender?
How did your family, friends, and community react to your gender change?
Were you able to navigate the legal aspects of gender change easily? or did you run into roadblocks, either intentional or unintentional?
What would you like mainstream, straigt folk to understand about your experiences?
Do you welcome honest questions about your gender change?
and last
Is it wrong of me to be resentful (but in a good way) that my two transgender friends, who have only been girls a relatively short period of time, look way better as chicks than I, who has been a girl my whole life, ever will?
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### Author:  [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)
#### Post date: [May 22, 2012, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-transgender-dopers/622685/2 "2012-05-22T05:24:24Z")
Umm… look, OP, this board has a very prominent and highly respected poster who happens to be transgender. However, knowing her (insomuch as I may presume to know her), I highly doubt she’ll be posting in this thread. It just ain’t her style.
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### Author:  [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)
#### Post date: [May 23, 2012, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-transgender-dopers/622685/3 "2012-05-23T18:42:14Z")
There are several Dopers who are transgendered, although it’s not my place to name them. If you do a search for transgender or transsexual on the boards, you’ll find a lot of discussion on the topics you’re asking about, and a lot of personal testimony about being trans.
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### Author:  [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)
#### Post date: [May 23, 2012, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-transgender-dopers/622685/4 "2012-05-23T18:49:53Z")
I know you’re not trying to be rude or insensitive, but saying things like “they used to be guys” and “they changed genders” starts you off on the wrong foot.
They have always been women, they just had the misfortune to be born with the wrong physical characteristics.
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### Author:  [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)
#### Post date: [May 23, 2012, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-transgender-dopers/622685/5 "2012-05-23T20:05:46Z")
> [@bouv](#):
>
> I know you’re not trying to be rude or insensitive, but saying things like “they used to be guys” and “they changed genders” starts you off on the wrong foot.
>
> They have always been women, they just had the misfortune to be born with the wrong physical characteristics.
That is a matter of opinion. And, in the view of the law, it is factually incorrect.
So, no, that blanket statement is not true, and no need to force the OP into “correct thinking” on the subject.
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### Author:  [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)
#### Post date: [May 23, 2012, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-transgender-dopers/622685/6 "2012-05-23T21:17:26Z")
The combination of the thread title and the OP’s username amuses me for some reason.
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### Author:  [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)
#### Post date: [May 23, 2012, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-transgender-dopers/622685/7 "2012-05-23T21:32:56Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#):
>
> That is a matter of opinion. And, in the view of the law, it is factually incorrect.
>
> So, no, that blanket statement is not true, and no need to force the OP into “correct thinking” on the subject.
Really?? No, I mean **really??** Hoo boy.
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### Author:  [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)
#### Post date: [May 23, 2012, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-transgender-dopers/622685/8 "2012-05-23T21:48:02Z")
> [@surrounded\_by\_literalists](#):
>
> Is it wrong of me to be resentful (but in a good way) that my two transgender friends, who have only been girls a relatively short period of time, look way better as chicks than I, who has been a girl my whole life, ever will?
Most of the transgendered people I have known and seen online have spent a LOT of time and energy, not to mention expensive and painful surgery, to look the way they think they should look. I would certainly hope they look fantastic.
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### Author:  [@tumbleddown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tumbleddown)
#### Post date: [May 23, 2012, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-transgender-dopers/622685/9 "2012-05-23T21:57:25Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#):
>
> That is a matter of opinion. And, in the view of the law, it is factually incorrect.
And when a person’s gender identity is a legal question first and foremost you’ll have a point. Since legal considerations fall somewhere on the list between “what does my fourth cousin twice removed I met once in Cleveland that time I had a layover think of Robert Ludlum?” and “what brand of dog food does Jim Parsons feed his Yorkies?” in terms of importance, you don’t.
> [@](#):
>
> So, no, that blanket statement is not true, and no need to force the OP into “correct thinking” on the subject.
And since this doesn’t apply to you and you’re directly contradicting other people’s lived experience, maybe you’re the one who should stop forcing your perspective, which is blatantly wrong, into the discussion.
And by the by, for everyone playing, it’s _transgender_. (The OP got it right.) Not transgendered. There is no -ed. Stop with the damned -eds already. Transgender. Often shorthanded as trans or trans\*. Opposite: cisgender.
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### Author:  [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)
#### Post date: [May 23, 2012, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-transgender-dopers/622685/10 "2012-05-23T22:00:41Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#):
>
> That is a matter of opinion. And, in the view of the law, it is factually incorrect.
>
> So, no, that blanket statement is not true, and no need to force the OP into “correct thinking” on the subject.
Actually, **bouv** ’s statement is factually correct, in that, if you don’t want to appear rude or insensitive, then you should avoid language like that when talking to or about transpeople.
If you don’t care about being rude or insensitive to transpeople, knock yourself out.
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### Author:  [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)
#### Post date: [May 23, 2012, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-transgender-dopers/622685/11 "2012-05-23T22:05:12Z")
> [@Miller](#):
>
> If you don’t care about being rude or insensitive to transpeople, knock yourself out.
Literally?
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### Author:  [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)
#### Post date: [May 23, 2012, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-transgender-dopers/622685/12 "2012-05-23T22:05:31Z")
> [@tumbleddown](#):
>
> And by the by, for everyone playing, it’s _transgender_. (The OP got it right.) Not transgendered. There is no -ed. Stop with the damned -eds already. Transgender. Often shorthanded as trans or trans\*. Opposite: cisgender.
What’s wrong with “transgendered”?
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### Author:  [@cynyc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cynyc)
#### Post date: [May 23, 2012, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-transgender-dopers/622685/13 "2012-05-23T22:29:04Z")
LOVE your ID!
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#):
>
> What’s wrong with “transgendered”?
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### Author:  [@cynyc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cynyc)
#### Post date: [May 23, 2012, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-transgender-dopers/622685/14 "2012-05-23T22:33:02Z")
That’s all I can say…
Click on the speaker thing.
[http://www.npr.org/player/v2/mediaPlayer.html?action=1&t=1&islist=false&id=90247842&m=90259905](http://www.npr.org/player/v2/mediaPlayer.html?action=1&t=1&islist=false&id=90247842&m=90259905)
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### Author:  [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)
#### Post date: [May 23, 2012, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-transgender-dopers/622685/15 "2012-05-23T22:47:02Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#):
>
> What’s wrong with “transgendered”?
Sounds to me like it indicates something that has been done, rather than a condition that has existed since birth.
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### Author:  [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)
#### Post date: [May 23, 2012, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-transgender-dopers/622685/16 "2012-05-23T22:58:53Z")
> [@tumbleddown](#):
>
> Opposite: cisgender.
By opposite you mean… hasn’t had surgery? Straight?
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### Author:  [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)
#### Post date: [May 24, 2012, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-transgender-dopers/622685/17 "2012-05-24T00:50:45Z")
> [@tumbleddown](#):
>
> And when a person’s gender identity is a legal question first and foremost you’ll have a point. Since legal considerations fall somewhere on the list between “what does my fourth cousin twice removed I met once in Cleveland that time I had a layover think of Robert Ludlum?” and “what brand of dog food does Jim Parsons feed his Yorkies?” in terms of importance, you don’t.
If you were the only person in the world, that would matter. But you aren’t and so it doesn’t. There are dozens of situations where the legal definition of one’s gender is all that is going to matter-- insisting that Bob is a girl might be politically correct, but not always operationally useful.
So, while I can appreciate your informing us of the etiquette involved, let’s not transform etiquette rules into unassailable facts.
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### Author:  [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)
#### Post date: [May 24, 2012, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-transgender-dopers/622685/18 "2012-05-24T01:26:59Z")
> [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](#):
>
> By opposite you mean… hasn’t had surgery? Straight?
Opposite as in, gender matches biology. In other words (and I apologize in advance for not being completely open in my language; it’s hard for a person unpracticed to get the vocabulary right), people with girl bodies who are girls, and people with boy bodies who are boys. (ie, most people).
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### Author:  [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)
#### Post date: [May 24, 2012, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-transgender-dopers/622685/19 "2012-05-24T02:21:11Z")
> [@tumbleddown](#):
>
> And by the by, for everyone playing, it’s _transgender_. (The OP got it right.) Not transgendered. There is no -ed. Stop with the damned -eds already. Transgender. Often shorthanded as trans or trans\*. Opposite: cisgender.
Are you sure about that? I did a quick Google and found countless LGTB sites that use ‘transgendered’.
(I’m too lazy to cite more than one, so here ya go)
[LINK](http://www.gaycenter.org/node/1020)
> [@](#):
>
> Columbia Queer Alliance: CQA is the primary social, political, and educational organization for lesbian, bisexual, gay, transgendered and questioning students at Columbia College…
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### Author:  [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)
#### Post date: [May 24, 2012, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-transgender-dopers/622685/20 "2012-05-24T02:43:39Z")
I believe the most modern, up-to-date terminology is transman (for a man who was born with a vagina) and transwoman (for a woman who was born with a penis). Transfolk would not say “I am transgendered.” They would say, “I am trans/transgender” or “I am a transwoman/transman.” You can call transfolk “transgendered” if you want, but it’s not what they call themselves. I don’t know why, that’s just how it’s done. If you want to be sensitive to transfolk, then call them what they call themselves. If you don’t want to be sensitive to transfolk, then act like **John Mace** is acting in this thread.
“Cisgender” is a neologism, coined to mean the opposite of transgender. “Cis” is a Latin prefix meaning “on the same side as” ([wiki definition](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cis)). It just means your internalized gender concept has matched your physical genitalia for your entire life. And similar to the abbreviated form “trans,” people who aren’t trans but are active in the sexual identity community may call themselves “cis.” “I’m cis,” means I’m a woman who was born with a vagina, and I have always felt like a woman (or man, penis, etc).
There are also people who go back and forth, are undecided, don’t feel like EITHER gender, or feel like a third gender. They refer to themselves as “genderqueer.”
[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-transgender-dopers/622685.md?page=2)