# Any whistlers here? Anyone here who'd like to STRANGLE them?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-whistlers-here-anyone-here-whod-like-to-strangle-them/774310>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [December 9, 2016, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-whistlers-here-anyone-here-whod-like-to-strangle-them/774310 "2016-12-09T22:05:36Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 15\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![eulalia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eulalia/32/457_2.png) [@eulalia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eulalia)\
**Post date:** [December 10, 2016, 8:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-whistlers-here-anyone-here-whod-like-to-strangle-them/774310/21 "2016-12-10T08:53:52Z")

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> [@Eddie The Horrible](#):
>
> [http://isitnormal.com/story/i-hate-people-who-whistle-38895/](http://isitnormal.com/story/i-hate-people-who-whistle-38895/)
> 
> Ok now…
> 
> I’m a whistler.  
> I’m a gardener.  
> And, literally, I whistle as I work.
> 
> Tunes like:
> 
> Roxy Roller  
> Scotland the Brave  
> Wonderful Tonight  
> 1812 Cannonization cannons bit  
> Whiter Shade of Pale  
> Elenore  
> Peg (yes, **Scabpicker** …Peg)  
> New Years Day/Mysterious Ways  
> themes from “Way We Were”, “Room 222”, “Magnificent 7”, “The Waltons”, “Bob Newhart Show”, “Pink Panther”, “Quincy” (the last one being super shitty, hence extra enjoyable)  
> particularly like Bohemian Rhapsody for the challenge and Dancing Days for the Page/Plant call and response  
> a Stevie Wonder number whose title escapes me but starts off literally singing, phonetically:  
> na na  
> na, na, na, na,  
> na na  
> na, na, NAA, na… (that “NAA” going slightly higher)  
> Baba O’Reilly  
> Whip It  
> Cars  
> side 2 of Abbey Road  
> Chopin’s third etude  
> shitload of Scott Joplin  
> Surfer Girl  
> Men of Harlich  
> Millenium  
> She’s Leaving Home  
> Ravel’s Bolero  
> Who Loves the Sun  
> Land of Hope and Glory  
> Yummy Yummy Yummy I’ve Got Love I My Tummy  
> Sitting On the Dock of the Bay  
> Sweet Leaf/Changes  
> Eine kleine Nachtmusik  
> Riders on the Storm/People Are Strange  
> Maggie Mae  
> Bus Stop/I Breathe the Air That I Breathe  
> Magic Man  
> Black Magic Woman  
> Just What I Needed (in its entirety - maybe my fave)  
> Sugar, Sugar  
> Good Morning, Starshine  
> Pick Up The Pieces
> 
> and a _WHOLE_ slew more…
> 
> These are not tunes I particularly covet - I certainly wouldn’t throw them onto an ipod, especially considering I don’t own one - they’re just catchy earworms that I can exorcise out of my noggin only by giving vent by whistling. I also wouldn’t do this in a confined office space.  
> One time, waiting in emergency, the doctor decided to chat with the receptionist about the holidays he just got back from, instead of attending to me, like, three feet away, so after _several_ unbelievable minutes of this, I started whistling, _really loud_, “Jingle Balls” (it was in summer).  
> He quickly wrapped up his vacay recap, and this was the only time I intentionally tried to whistle someone into a quivering mass of gelatinous inferiority and shame.  
> So then…come at me, then, all you whistle haters…  
> Come at me with me your pitchforks!!!  
> Hey and what’s really worse is that whistlers bug _me_, (except maybe if they’re _at least_ hitting the notes of something readily identifiable), so, I’m being both the hypocritical cause _and_ victim of this. Not helping at all, am I?  
> So yeah, pile on, pillock me, throw at me what ya got - I’ll be like De Niro in that scene from Cape Fear. Ha!
> 
> LET’S FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!..I’LL FUCK ANYTHING THAT MOOOOOOOOOVES, A-HEH-HEH-HEH!!!\*
> 
> \*ok maybe different flick - just trying to create ambiance and mood.
> 
> regards, Eddie The Horrible

If you can do it on key, it would probably be fine with me. It’s all the people with tin ears who think they are Tamas Hacki that make me want to strangle them. Some of us are NOT tone deaf.

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**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\
**Post date:** [December 10, 2016, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-whistlers-here-anyone-here-whod-like-to-strangle-them/774310/22 "2016-12-10T10:50:54Z")

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Why is it I can whistle in tune, but can’t sing in tune? Isn’t it the same auditory circuit that hears a vocalization and modifies it to tune it?

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**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\
**Post date:** [December 10, 2016, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-whistlers-here-anyone-here-whod-like-to-strangle-them/774310/23 "2016-12-10T18:52:35Z")

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> [@Leaffan](#):
>
> I am a master whistler: no really.  
> There’s a guy at work who hums or whistles constantly. I share an office space with him now, but haven’t always.  
> Thankfully he does not whistle at his desk, but he cannot walk down the hall without whistling, but here’s the worst part: he doesn’t whistle a tune. It’s just a loud, random, attack of absolute random nonsense.  
> Now THAT is annoying as shit, especially when I’m stressed and he’s whistling like a fucking songbird looking to mate.
> 
> Sent from my adequate mobile device using Tapatalk.

Trust me-if you’re whistling at work, you’re 100% as annoying.

As someone who works with a whistler who is able to keep perfectly on key BUT NEVER FUCKING STOPS, it’s just as annoying as someone who plays their music at work. When I’m at work, I do _not_ want to hear your music or anyone else’s.

Whistling is like masturbation: there’s nothing wrong with it but do it in the privacy of your own home and not in public.

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**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\
**Post date:** [December 10, 2016, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-whistlers-here-anyone-here-whod-like-to-strangle-them/774310/24 "2016-12-10T18:56:14Z")

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I don’t whistle at work. Did I say I did?

I don’t jerk off at work either. Well, not in a couple of decades at least. 🙂

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**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\
**Post date:** [December 10, 2016, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-whistlers-here-anyone-here-whod-like-to-strangle-them/774310/25 "2016-12-10T19:24:54Z")

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That’s why I said “IF you’re whistling at work…” I’m all about nuance! 😃 😉

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**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\
**Post date:** [December 10, 2016, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-whistlers-here-anyone-here-whod-like-to-strangle-them/774310/26 "2016-12-10T19:50:54Z")

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> [@Fenris](#):
>
> …“[edit]Writing[edit] is like masturbation”…

- **Starving Artist**?

Seriously, though, I even do _that_ sometimes, while whistling.  
Usually the “hey sexy!” whistle\*.

\*ok this means I’m impressed at how well-endowed I am.

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**Author:** ![Iggy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iggy/32/3364_2.png) [@Iggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iggy)\
**Post date:** [December 10, 2016, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-whistlers-here-anyone-here-whod-like-to-strangle-them/774310/27 "2016-12-10T20:50:20Z")

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Three hours [stuck in a plane with a whistler](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=777986). I was ready to show him the emergency exit from 34,000 feet.

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**Author:** ![scabpicker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scabpicker/32/8268_2.png) [@scabpicker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scabpicker)\
**Post date:** [December 10, 2016, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-whistlers-here-anyone-here-whod-like-to-strangle-them/774310/28 "2016-12-10T21:13:28Z")

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> [@Eddie The Horrible](#):
>
> But for hailing a cab, aren’t you supposed to do that annoying multiple-fingers-in-mouth type of whistle that’s extremely loud and piercing? Also used for hailing pets and shit. I can’t do that type of whistle, myself, which for some incredibly retarded reason makes me feel like I have some kind of shortcoming. Like, it makes me feel less virile, or something.

I can make that sound without putting my fingers in my mouth. However, I whistle in a strange way. The noise is made between my tongue and palate. I can whistle the normal way by pursing my lips, but I suck at it compared to the other method. I can’t do the fingers thing, but have never needed to.  
Not only do I whistle while at work, I full on sing and whistle the instrumental parts. With the exception of a couple of hours of overlap at the beginning and end of my shift I am alone. I have _some_ discipline, so I only annoy folks when I forget they’re there. The few times I’ve done that, it’s pretty embarrassing. I come around the corner singing “My Bucket’s Got a Hole in it” at full volume, almost run into someone who I see maybe twice a week, then trail off while smiling weakly. :o\*

Like **digs** and **ETH** , it’s a result of having a jukebox in my head. Over the summer, for a couple of weeks it was “Judy in Disguise”. The week after? Yep, it was “Peg” (It will come back to you). “My Old School” was in there recently, too. 🙂

Ok, I can dish it out, but can I take it? Sure, I’d usually rather my co-workers whistle than talk to me.

\*Fortunately, no one has caught me dancing down the server aisles that I know of (It’s on the secuirty cams, I’m sure). I am so lucky I work alone.

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**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\
**Post date:** [December 11, 2016, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-whistlers-here-anyone-here-whod-like-to-strangle-them/774310/29 "2016-12-11T01:59:31Z")

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> [@scabpicker](#):
>
> I can make that sound without putting my fingers in my mouth. However, I whistle in a strange way. The noise is made between my tongue and palate. I can whistle the normal way by pursing my lips, but I suck at it compared to the other method. I can’t do the fingers thing, but have never needed to.

gee thanks for making me feel, like, _extra_ all wussy now.

> [@scabpicker](#):
>
> Fortunately, no one has caught me dancing down the server aisles that I know of (It’s on the secuirty cams, I’m sure). I am so lucky I work alone.

Please contact your employer immediately to acquire pertinent cam footage for posting here for our pernicious enjoyment.  
Thank-you.

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**Author:** ![scabpicker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scabpicker/32/8268_2.png) [@scabpicker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scabpicker)\
**Post date:** [December 11, 2016, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-whistlers-here-anyone-here-whod-like-to-strangle-them/774310/30 "2016-12-11T05:47:51Z")

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> [@Eddie The Horrible](#):
>
> gee thanks for making me feel, like, _extra_ all wussy now.

Well, I can make the noise, but can’t do the dynamic fingers-in mouth gesture…

> [@Eddie The Horrible](#):
>
> Please contact your employer immediately to acquire pertinent cam footage for posting here for our pernicious enjoyment.  
> Thank-you.

No no no no no noooooo. I have access to the box the recordings are on, but do not look at them anymore. The one time I did, I wondered who that bald and fat fucker was, and then quickly realized the answer.

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**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\
**Post date:** [December 11, 2016, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-whistlers-here-anyone-here-whod-like-to-strangle-them/774310/31 "2016-12-11T05:53:40Z")

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I prefer whistling to farting.

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**Author:** ![scabpicker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scabpicker/32/8268_2.png) [@scabpicker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scabpicker)\
**Post date:** [December 11, 2016, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-whistlers-here-anyone-here-whod-like-to-strangle-them/774310/32 "2016-12-11T06:33:49Z")

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> [@Morgenstern](#):
>
> I prefer whistling to farting.

…yeah, so lucky I work alone.

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**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\
**Post date:** [December 11, 2016, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-whistlers-here-anyone-here-whod-like-to-strangle-them/774310/33 "2016-12-11T08:22:31Z")

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> [@scabpicker](#):
>
> No no no no no noooooo. I have access to the box the recordings are on, but do not look at them anymore.

oh, oh, I see…_riiiight_…  
You just wanted to, just…dangle it out there…a little…

%&@!# tease.  
(was hoping to check out some totally unhinged moves busted out to _Gloria_…the Laura Branigan version, that is…)(probably no fuckin audio anyway) \< not sour grapes

[go straight to 2:08 - just after ill-advised Felix graphic, Monty does his killer version.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8DpR-N108gk)  
Sadly, I couldn’t find the equally urbane and peppy Tony Randall version anywhere on the internet (to compare, and, to show why he was kinda pissed with Monty burning him like that)

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**Author:** ![scabpicker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scabpicker/32/8268_2.png) [@scabpicker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scabpicker)\
**Post date:** [December 11, 2016, 9:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-whistlers-here-anyone-here-whod-like-to-strangle-them/774310/34 "2016-12-11T09:18:38Z")

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> [@Eddie The Horrible](#):
>
> oh, oh, I see…_riiiight_…  
> You just wanted to, just…dangle it out there…a little…
> 
> %&@!# tease.  
> (was hoping to check out some totally unhinged moves busted out to _Gloria_…the Laura Branigan version, that is…)(probably no fuckin audio anyway) \< not sour grapes

Hehehe, no, really. It’s horribly embarrassing, and we’re in the era where that nonsense goes viral…hmm…ok, will see what I can do. I have no pride.

And no, no audio on the current system. But, in a previous incarnation of the company, the CEO was more than a little paranoid. You could see bud microphones scattered in the ceiling tiles of the facilities. It was assumed that they were attached to a system that recorded anything above a certain volume. When I realized this after about a year of working there, I was delighted that they’d probably have to sift through about 20 hours a week of me just spewing out the musical department of my brain. [You get to drink from the fire hose!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXc5ltzKq3Y)

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**Author:** ![Sangahyando](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f14d63/32.png) [@Sangahyando](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sangahyando)\
**Post date:** [December 11, 2016, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/any-whistlers-here-anyone-here-whod-like-to-strangle-them/774310/35 "2016-12-11T12:01:56Z")

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> [@River\_Hippie](#):
>
> Whistling to a captive audience is the aural equivalent to lighting a big stinky cigar in the company of non-smokers.

Agreed – particularly maybe, if the whistling is untuneful / random.

I like the adaptation of the “Swans sing…” couplet:

“Swans sing before they die; a good thing this’ll  
Be, if some people die before they whistle.”

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