# Anybody else feel bad after being vulnerable with close friend? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 27, 2017, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-else-feel-bad-after-being-vulnerable-with-close-friend/780975 "2017-02-27T20:22:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 4\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2017, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-else-feel-bad-after-being-vulnerable-with-close-friend/780975/21 "2017-03-07T23:57:21Z")
> [@jz78817](#): > > my life experience has taught me that “friend” means “someone who hasn’t thrown you under the bus _yet_.” . . . > > Because friends are not to be trusted. they’ll sell you out at the first opportunity if they think it’ll get them something. I most vigorously disagree, and am speaking from several decades of experience. Sure, there are false friends. But there are also true, blue, life-sharing, trustworthy, loving and caring friends. They are a major part of why life is worth living. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2017, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-else-feel-bad-after-being-vulnerable-with-close-friend/780975/22 "2017-03-11T05:38:21Z")
Count yourself lucky. A close friend and I had an agreement that we would clear the air if one of us felt that the other had hurt her. Please come and tell me if I’ve hurt your feelings, and we’ll talk it out and fix it. We value each other’s friendship enough not to let things fester. I would want to make it right. Etc. The day came when she did something that hurt me. I went to her and calmly said, look, I’m upset that you did X. And she immediately turned into a snarling monster. Oh no, don’t give me that bullshit, we never agreed Y (even though we frequently talked to people about Y and it was pretty much public knowledge – nice gaslighting), you have no right to feel bad, it’s too bad you worked yourself into a tizzy … She gave me sarcasm and belittlement and called my ability to run my own life into question. All because she is never wrong and cannot admit that something she did hurt the feelings of one of her (supposedly, by her own words) dearest friends. Could not express the slightest regret for having caused me pain, or that perhaps she should not have done X or should have come and talked to me about it. I would never have dreamed of attacking her like that. And this after I supported her unconditionally through some terrible things that happened. I shared the details with a few other friends, some who know her, some who do not, and every single one was “WTF?” I don’t need “friends” like that. She’s no longer in my life. All because of her unassailable ego. Her loss. I was a great friend to her and she threw me under a bus. ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2017, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-else-feel-bad-after-being-vulnerable-with-close-friend/780975/23 "2017-03-11T12:04:08Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > I most vigorously disagree, and am speaking from several decades of experience. I am speaking from several decades of experience as well. > [@](#): > > Sure, there are false friends. But there are also true, blue, life-sharing, trustworthy, loving and caring friends. They are a major part of why life is worth living. then our individual decades of experience have been very, very different. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2017, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-else-feel-bad-after-being-vulnerable-with-close-friend/780975/24 "2017-03-11T12:49:42Z")
In my decades of life experience, toothbrushes are always in a ceramic holder to the right of the bathroom sink, and all feet wear a size 10 1/2 shoe. Some people may say otherwise, but I know because I was there and lived through it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-else-feel-bad-after-being-vulnerable-with-close-friend/780975.md?page=1)