# Anybody ever used a paid people finder service? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 9, 2006, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-ever-used-a-paid-people-finder-service/360048 "2006-06-09T12:33:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![indecisive1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/41988e/32.png) [@indecisive1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/indecisive1)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2006, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-ever-used-a-paid-people-finder-service/360048/1 "2006-06-09T12:33:09Z")
Did you find your person? Why yes, it is my highschool sweetheart I want to find. Problem is he has a really common first and last name, and everyone lost track of him back in 1979. He has an unusual middle name, though. I know his birthdate, except I don’t know the year for sure (I can guess within a year or two) and at least one college he went to. Anybody ever done a paid search? Should I? I’d really like to know how life turned out for him. Maybe I could quit having dreams about the guy! ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2006, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-ever-used-a-paid-people-finder-service/360048/2 "2006-06-09T12:59:31Z")
> [@indecisive1](#): > > Did you find your person? > > Why yes, it is my highschool sweetheart I want to find. Problem is he has a really common first and last name, and everyone lost track of him back in 1979. He has an unusual middle name, though. I know his birthdate, except I don’t know the year for sure (I can guess within a year or two) and at least one college he went to. > > Anybody ever done a paid search? Should I? I’d really like to know how life turned out for him. Maybe I could quit having dreams about the guy! I did it. I was given information on previous addresses that went waaaay back. Like 15 years, I think. It’s not very expensive…I think $40 or so. And I believe the more you pay, the more info you can get. The person I was looking for was flying under the radar for some time. No credit history, no phone, etc., so I only got address info, as I recall. I was actually looking to see if he was even alive, as it had been a while since we’d heard from him. ---
**Author:** ![indecisive1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/41988e/32.png) [@indecisive1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/indecisive1)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2006, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-ever-used-a-paid-people-finder-service/360048/3 "2006-06-09T13:09:19Z")
> [@Kalhoun](#): > > I did it. I was given information on previous addresses that went waaaay back. Like 15 years, I think. It’s not very expensive…I think $40 or so. And I believe the more you pay, the more info you can get. > > The person I was looking for was flying under the radar for some time. No credit history, no phone, etc., so I only got address info, as I recall. I was actually looking to see if he was even alive, as it had been a while since we’d heard from him. Did you feel confident that it was actually the person you were looking for? I can’t imagine I’d have the problem of someone who was actively hiding (unless he suddenly became a different person) but when he has the same name as about 27-million-thousand other people, how do you know you have the right person? ---
**Author:** ![Omega\_Glory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/7c8e57/32.png) [@Omega\_Glory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omega_Glory)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2006, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-ever-used-a-paid-people-finder-service/360048/4 "2006-06-09T14:31:06Z")
Yes, and they found the correct person. I did the search for someone else, since they didn’t own a computer. He wrote all of the matches, and the correct person wrote back. ---
**Author:** ![Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angel_of_the_lord/32/2949_2.png) [@Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_of_the_Lord)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2006, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-ever-used-a-paid-people-finder-service/360048/5 "2006-06-09T14:39:30Z")
I’ve never used a paid service, but I have had luck finding people on veromi.info. I just never pay for any of the extra information. This is what happens when you have way too much time at work. . . ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2006, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-ever-used-a-paid-people-finder-service/360048/6 "2006-06-09T14:55:11Z")
> [@indecisive1](#): > > Did you feel confident that it was actually the person you were looking for? I can’t imagine I’d have the problem of someone who was actively hiding (unless he suddenly became a different person) but when he has the same name as about 27-million-thousand other people, how do you know you have the right person? Well, it was my brother so I knew from previous addresses that it was him. Your situation might be a little sketchier, since he has a common name and there’s been no contact for many, many years. However, that middle name thing might be your ace in the hole. Depending on your budget, it’s not much of an investment, particularly if you’re dreaming about this guy! Go for it!!! ---
**Author:** ![A.R.Cane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ee7513/32.png) [@A.R.Cane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/A.R.Cane)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2006, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-ever-used-a-paid-people-finder-service/360048/7 "2006-06-09T15:08:22Z")
You might try USSearch. com or [Zabasearch.com](http://Zabasearch.com), both have the ability to search the name by age and you only need to approximate the year. Both will return names w/ unpublished phone numbers. You can choose to pay for more info. if it’s needed. I am somewhat protective of my personal info., but I don’t go to any extremes. It’s nearly impossible to find me on the internet. ---
**Author:** ![dre2xl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/34f0e0/32.png) [@dre2xl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dre2xl)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2006, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-ever-used-a-paid-people-finder-service/360048/8 "2006-06-09T15:13:32Z")
I wanted to find a cousin who cut off his family & went into hiding. I didn’t find any more information on him than I did on unpaid sites, so it was a waste of $40. ☹ We got a detective to find him eventually, but he still doesn’t want to re-establish communication. It’s all very sad, especially since his parents already lost a child and now they’ve effectively lost another. ---
**Author:** ![indecisive1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/41988e/32.png) [@indecisive1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/indecisive1)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2006, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-ever-used-a-paid-people-finder-service/360048/9 "2006-06-09T15:31:28Z")
So I go to **angle of the lord’s** suggested site and type in a first and last name with date of birth and year guess and um… there he is. I think… but the middle name and birthday and age and all are right. Can’t say I’d have ever thought he’s end up in that state though, but what do I know? Wow! Now what? I’f you were a 45-ish year old guy who suddenly got a letter from a highschool girlfriend what would you think? I must assume he’s married, I’d rather not cause friction for anybody, but damn-it-all I want to know how he is and if he has kids and if he ever realized that Bob Dylan has a really bad voice. Plus, he needs to stop showing up in my dreams, cause it is starting to make me feel crazy(er). ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2006, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-ever-used-a-paid-people-finder-service/360048/10 "2006-06-09T15:42:28Z")
> [@indecisive1](#): > > So I go to **angle of the lord’s** suggested site and type in a first and last name with date of birth and year guess and um… there he is. I think… but the middle name and birthday and age and all are right. Can’t say I’d have ever thought he’s end up in that state though, but what do I know? > > Wow! Now what? > > I’f you were a 45-ish year old guy who suddenly got a letter from a highschool girlfriend what would you think? I must assume he’s married, I’d rather not cause friction for anybody, but damn-it-all I want to know how he is and if he has kids and if he ever realized that Bob Dylan has a really bad voice. Plus, he needs to stop showing up in my dreams, cause it is starting to make me feel crazy(er). My husband’s boss’s wife did exactly that. They were married a few years later. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, as they say. ---
**Author:** ![indecisive1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/41988e/32.png) [@indecisive1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/indecisive1)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2006, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-ever-used-a-paid-people-finder-service/360048/11 "2006-06-09T15:42:29Z")
> [@dre2xl](#): > > I wanted to find a cousin who cut off his family & went into hiding. I didn’t find any more information on him than I did on unpaid sites, so it was a waste of $40. ☹ > > We got a detective to find him eventually, but he still doesn’t want to re-establish communication. It’s all very sad, especially since his parents already lost a child and now they’ve effectively lost another. **dre2xl** I’m really sorry about your cousin ducking out. I hope that your family can enjoy those who are with them and forgive those who are not. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2006, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-ever-used-a-paid-people-finder-service/360048/12 "2006-06-09T15:47:16Z")
> [@indecisive1](#): > > I’f you were a 45-ish year old guy who suddenly got a letter from a highschool girlfriend what would you think?). I’d think “Whoa!” What the hell, go ahead and write. I’m guessing he’s thought about you once or twice over the last quarter century. ---
**Author:** ![indecisive1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/41988e/32.png) [@indecisive1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/indecisive1)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2006, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-ever-used-a-paid-people-finder-service/360048/13 "2006-06-09T15:49:26Z")
> [@Kalhoun](#): > > My husband’s boss’s wife did exactly that. They were married a few years later. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, as they say. Oh. My. God. This really is a mid-life crisis isn’t it? I thought I was done with that. Does everybody do this? Why can’t I stop thinking about this guy? ---
**Author:** ![indecisive1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/41988e/32.png) [@indecisive1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/indecisive1)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2006, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-ever-used-a-paid-people-finder-service/360048/14 "2006-06-09T15:56:33Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > I’d think “Whoa!” > > What the hell, go ahead and write. I’m guessing he’s thought about you once or twice over the last quarter century. Quarter century. Hurmf. That’s a another thread… why does so many decades, or a half a century or what-ever sound like so much more time than 25 or 50 years. Does one need to lose weight before sending a letter to past love? ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2006, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-ever-used-a-paid-people-finder-service/360048/15 "2006-06-09T16:10:04Z")
> [@indecisive1](#): > > Oh. My. God. This really is a mid-life crisis isn’t it? I thought I was done with that. Does everybody do this? Why can’t I stop thinking about this guy? Because he was hot and studly! You really need to do this or you’ll be on your deathbed whispering his name with your last breath. Don’t go down that path. Take the plunge! ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2006, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-ever-used-a-paid-people-finder-service/360048/16 "2006-06-09T16:19:40Z")
Tee hee. **Kalhoun** said “plunge.” ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2006, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-ever-used-a-paid-people-finder-service/360048/17 "2006-06-09T16:20:50Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > Tee hee. **Kalhoun** said “plunge.” I should have said “_studly_ plunge.” ---
**Author:** ![indecisive1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/41988e/32.png) [@indecisive1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/indecisive1)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2006, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-ever-used-a-paid-people-finder-service/360048/18 "2006-06-09T16:27:51Z")
> [@Kalhoun](#): > > Because he was hot and studly! You really need to do this or you’ll be on your deathbed whispering his name with your last breath. Don’t go down that path. Take the plunge! Heh! The man darn near did me in last night in my dream… and not with sex, but with the desire for sex. So there goes my previous statement about how I just want to know how his life turned out, eh? ::deathbed:: no, really, Mr. common name, I just want to know that you have had a good life. Can I help you with those slacks? ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2006, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-ever-used-a-paid-people-finder-service/360048/19 "2006-06-09T17:09:08Z")
I’ve been thinking about using a paid service or hiring a PI to locate my birth father. He had gone his own way before he knew my mother was pregnant. (that’s another story) These personal ancedotes are nice to hear, makes me think I might go ahead and do it. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2006, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-ever-used-a-paid-people-finder-service/360048/20 "2006-06-09T19:20:23Z")
Now that you know what state he lives in, you might be able to do better Google searches for him. Might find his name in a company profile, community news or newspaper article. Heck, if you know what county he lives in and that county has good online records, you can search property listings for him and also court records 🙂 Not that I do this a lot, or anything… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-ever-used-a-paid-people-finder-service/360048.md?page=2)