# Anybody got any clever jokes? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 14, 2017, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-got-any-clever-jokes/786602 "2017-05-14T18:19:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Noel\_Prosequi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b19c9b/32.png) [@Noel\_Prosequi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noel_Prosequi)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2017, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-got-any-clever-jokes/786602/41 "2017-05-18T03:45:38Z")
My fave, which I learned here: Q: What does the middle B in Benoit B Mandelbrot stand for? A: Benoit B Mandelbrot ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2017, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-got-any-clever-jokes/786602/42 "2017-05-18T03:56:08Z")
> [@IfItComesUp6](#): > > There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those that understand binary and those that don’t. There are two kinds of people in the world, those who can extrapolate from incomplete data. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2017, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-got-any-clever-jokes/786602/43 "2017-05-18T04:36:27Z")
**Anybody got a clever joke?** I do. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2017, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-got-any-clever-jokes/786602/44 "2017-05-18T06:19:16Z")
Two birds on a perch. One says to the other: “Do you smell fish?” ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2017, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-got-any-clever-jokes/786602/45 "2017-05-18T07:07:03Z")
Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes? A: A fsh. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2017, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-got-any-clever-jokes/786602/46 "2017-05-18T12:48:45Z")
> [@Noel\_Prosequi](#): > > My fave, which I learned here: > > Q: What does the middle B in Benoit B Mandelbrot stand for? > > A: Benoit B Mandelbrot Hah! Took me a few seconds to get that one… Q: How do you know you’re dealing with the physics mafia? A: They make you an offer you can’t understand. Q: How do you know you’re dealing with the quantum physics mafia? A: You find a horse on your bed that’s both dead and alive. ---
**Author:** ![Mikeisskeptical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@Mikeisskeptical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mikeisskeptical)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2017, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-got-any-clever-jokes/786602/47 "2017-05-18T13:09:50Z")
Oxygen and potassium went on a date. It went OK. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2017, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-got-any-clever-jokes/786602/48 "2017-05-18T13:27:18Z")
> [@Noel\_Prosequi](#): > > My fave, which I learned here: > > Q: What does the middle B in Benoit B Mandelbrot stand for? > > A: Benoit B Mandelbrot Sort of on-topic, because it is a joke: try googling _ **recursion** _ ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2017, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-got-any-clever-jokes/786602/49 "2017-05-18T14:11:52Z")
What’s worse, ignorance or indifference? I don’t know and I don’t care. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2017, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-got-any-clever-jokes/786602/50 "2017-05-18T14:26:10Z")
Three statisticians are out hunting. Suddenly a rabbit leaps out of a bush and starts running in front of them. The first statistician raises his gun, fires, and overshoots it. The second statistician raises his gun, fires, and undershoots it. The third statistician says, “We got him!” ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Sanchez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e19adc/32.png) [@Rick\_Sanchez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Sanchez)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2017, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-got-any-clever-jokes/786602/51 "2017-05-18T14:33:38Z")
“What do we want?” “TIME TRAVEL!” “When do we want it?” “IRRELEVANT!” ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2017, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-got-any-clever-jokes/786602/52 "2017-05-18T18:00:33Z")
> [@EmilyG](#): > > What’s worse, ignorance or indifference? > > I don’t know and I don’t care. Hear that one as: What’s the difference between ignorance, apathy, and ambivalence? I don’t know and I don’t care, one way or the other. ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2017, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-got-any-clever-jokes/786602/53 "2017-05-19T00:13:41Z")
Ha! That’s a good one,\*\* Malleus, Incus, Stapes!.\*\* ---
**Author:** ![Mikemike2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikemike2/32/305_2.png) [@Mikemike2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mikemike2)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2017, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-got-any-clever-jokes/786602/54 "2017-05-19T21:37:34Z")
My friend has a trophy wife, but not first place Steven Wright ---
**Author:** ![jaycat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jaycat/32/3015_2.png) [@jaycat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jaycat)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2017, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-got-any-clever-jokes/786602/55 "2017-05-20T01:27:33Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > I guy is getting ready for a trip to Boston. Several friends tell him, “When you get there you have to try the local fish specialty called scrod.” > > The guy gets off the airplane in Boston, gets in a cab, and asks the cabbie, “Do you know where I can get scrod around here?” > > The cabbie replies, “I’ve heard that question asked many different ways before, but never in the pluperfect subjunctive.” My father used to tell me that joke, may God rest his soul. Going back 50 years now. I ran into a friend of mine who was recently married, and asked, “how’s it going?” “Not so good, she’s cut me back to twice a week.” “Oh, that’s nothing,” I replied. “There’s a couple of guys she’s cut out altogether.” ---
**Author:** ![x-ray\_vision](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/x-ray_vision/32/351_2.png) [@x-ray\_vision](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/x-ray_vision)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2017, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-got-any-clever-jokes/786602/56 "2017-05-20T02:46:19Z")
> [@Noel\_Prosequi](#): > > My fave, which I learned here: > > Q: What does the middle B in Benoit B Mandelbrot stand for? > > A: Benoit B Mandelbrot Q: What’s an anagram of Banach-Tarski? A: Banach-Tarski Banach-Tarski ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2017, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-got-any-clever-jokes/786602/57 "2017-05-20T02:55:52Z")
> [@buddha\_david](#): > > Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes? > > A: A fsh. Q. What do you have if you have a deer with no eyes? A. You got no-eye deer. Q. What do you have if the deer with no eyes dies? A. Still no-eye deer. Today, I had a few extra minutes, so I taught my kids how to write limericks. At the end, I showed them my favorite series: There once was a man from Barfour Whose limericks stopped at line four. The poems were fine Until the fifth line … I once knew a girl from Dundee Whose limericks stopped at line three. And never did finish … There was an old man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two … A silly young lass from Verdun … [There’s one more in the series, but all I remember is that it’s about Emperor Nero] ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2017, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-got-any-clever-jokes/786602/58 "2017-05-20T05:39:39Z")
Q. What do you call a female hog? A. A sow. Q. What do you call a male deer? A. A buck. Q. What do you call 50 female hogs and 50 male deer? A. A hundred sows and bucks. Q. What do you get if you cross an elephant and a rhinoceros? A. Elefino. ---
**Author:** ![Noel\_Prosequi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b19c9b/32.png) [@Noel\_Prosequi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noel_Prosequi)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2017, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-got-any-clever-jokes/786602/59 "2017-05-20T08:13:08Z")
> [@x-ray\_vision](#): > > Q: What’s an anagram of Banach-Tarski? > > A: Banach-Tarski Banach-Tarski Up till now, the Mandelbrot joke was the nerdiest one I knew. Hail the new King. ---
**Author:** ![saucywench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/85e7bf/32.png) [@saucywench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saucywench)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2017, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-got-any-clever-jokes/786602/60 "2017-05-22T21:34:34Z")
What is a pirate’s favorite letter? Ye would think, but no,…his heart belongs to the “C.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-got-any-clever-jokes/786602.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-got-any-clever-jokes/786602.md?page=4)