John Travolta turned me into a newt once.
But I’m much better now.
Birds of a feather…
Clearly, you need to contact Stephen Colbert on this matter.
I drove past a Scientology Center once. There was a guy outside smoking a cigerette. I wanted to roll down the window and shout, “Hey, that is not good for you!” but then realized he might think that I was telling him fags were unhealthy, not the L. Ron Hubbard stuff.
I once ordered a plate of steamers, and when they arrived, I could have sworn I heard one crying, “Help me, Tom Cruise! Help Me!!!”