# Anybody know of a good way to get rid of smurfs? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 17, 2005, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-know-of-a-good-way-to-get-rid-of-smurfs/308653 "2005-06-17T04:43:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Jet\_Jaguar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jet_jaguar/32/3562_2.png) [@Jet\_Jaguar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jet_Jaguar)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-know-of-a-good-way-to-get-rid-of-smurfs/308653/1 "2005-06-17T04:43:50Z")
I’m having trouble with some pests and I’m looking for advice. My garden is infested with smurfs. Recently they flooded my back yard when they dammed the stream out back, so now I’m getting desperate. I’ve been strangling the little bastards as fast as I can catch them, but they’re worse than ever. I used to use Dursban to control them, but you can’t get that anymore and I haven’t found anything else that really works. Any help would be appreciated. ---
**Author:** ![MaceMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@MaceMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaceMan)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-know-of-a-good-way-to-get-rid-of-smurfs/308653/2 "2005-06-17T04:51:54Z")
Psychiatric medications are your best option for eradicating smurfs. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Liz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/liz/32/17737_2.png) [@Liz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liz)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-know-of-a-good-way-to-get-rid-of-smurfs/308653/3 "2005-06-17T04:51:56Z")
Dude, whenever you find out, be sure to tell [this guy](http://www.maths.tcd.ie/~snpower/images/smurfs/Smurfs/Gargamel/gargamel1.gif). He’s got the same issue. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-know-of-a-good-way-to-get-rid-of-smurfs/308653/4 "2005-06-17T05:08:37Z")
Fuel Air Explosive are the only sure non radioactive method of eradicating the great blue evils. (Rhymes with Weevils) ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Bruin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Queen\_Bruin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Bruin)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-know-of-a-good-way-to-get-rid-of-smurfs/308653/5 "2005-06-17T05:11:14Z")
Toss them over the hedge. “Geroff, geroff!” Free cookie to the first one to spot the reference. ---
**Author:** ![thirdwarning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecccb3/32.png) [@thirdwarning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thirdwarning)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-know-of-a-good-way-to-get-rid-of-smurfs/308653/6 "2005-06-17T05:23:23Z")
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Garden gnomes at The Burrow. I like oatmeal spice, thank you. ---
**Author:** ![Phnord\_Prephect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/df705f/32.png) [@Phnord\_Prephect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phnord_Prephect)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-know-of-a-good-way-to-get-rid-of-smurfs/308653/7 "2005-06-17T05:25:21Z")
Get a cat. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-know-of-a-good-way-to-get-rid-of-smurfs/308653/8 "2005-06-17T05:25:59Z")
I can say for certain that a ginger tomcat is useless. ---
**Author:** ![inkleberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f17d59/32.png) [@inkleberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inkleberry)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-know-of-a-good-way-to-get-rid-of-smurfs/308653/9 "2005-06-17T05:28:02Z")
They seem to be attracted to oddly faced franch kids with magical flutes. I’d give it a shot. ---
**Author:** ![inkleberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f17d59/32.png) [@inkleberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inkleberry)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-know-of-a-good-way-to-get-rid-of-smurfs/308653/10 "2005-06-17T05:29:13Z")
oh, and if that doesn’t work, see if you can rent Mr. Roger’s Hennrietta Pussycat. She speaks Reverse Smurf Language, and I think putting them all together makes them cancel each other out. Kinda like -1 +1. ---
**Author:** ![psycat90](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@psycat90](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psycat90)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-know-of-a-good-way-to-get-rid-of-smurfs/308653/11 "2005-06-17T05:33:12Z")
A smurfy trap should do the trick. At least 3 apples high. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-know-of-a-good-way-to-get-rid-of-smurfs/308653/12 "2005-06-17T05:37:55Z")
We could then wipe out all of them. I still suggest some form of overly deadly explosives. You could truck in fresh topsoil after the fact. ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-know-of-a-good-way-to-get-rid-of-smurfs/308653/13 "2005-06-17T06:07:26Z")
Smurfs? Try getting Snorks out of your fucking water feature. Pansy. ---
**Author:** ![LorieSmurf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a587f6/32.png) [@LorieSmurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LorieSmurf)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 10:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-know-of-a-good-way-to-get-rid-of-smurfs/308653/14 "2005-06-17T10:08:14Z")
It’s impossible to be rid of us. IMPOSSIBLE!! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! ---
**Author:** ![cabdude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@cabdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cabdude)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 10:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-know-of-a-good-way-to-get-rid-of-smurfs/308653/15 "2005-06-17T10:16:43Z")
Out of curiousity, what colour do they turn when you strangle them? ---
**Author:** ![RunSilent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e0b2c6/32.png) [@RunSilent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RunSilent)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-know-of-a-good-way-to-get-rid-of-smurfs/308653/16 "2005-06-17T11:43:22Z")
1920s Style Death Ray. ---
**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-know-of-a-good-way-to-get-rid-of-smurfs/308653/17 "2005-06-17T12:03:19Z")
Try a lawn mower, even if it means mowing the garden. ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-know-of-a-good-way-to-get-rid-of-smurfs/308653/18 "2005-06-17T12:11:26Z")
\ My apartment is currently overrun by koala bears. It is the cutest infestation ever. \ ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-know-of-a-good-way-to-get-rid-of-smurfs/308653/19 "2005-06-17T12:12:01Z")
> [@Harborwolf](#): > > Try a lawn mower, even if it means mowing the garden. 😃 Definitely high speed & low mulching blade. Are they good fertilizer at least? ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-know-of-a-good-way-to-get-rid-of-smurfs/308653/20 "2005-06-17T12:31:45Z")
> [@Phnord Prephect](#): > > Get a cat. What might one name that cat. . . [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-know-of-a-good-way-to-get-rid-of-smurfs/308653.md?page=2)