# Anybody know the Star Trek parody of CW McCall's "Convoy"? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** star-trek-paramount, music\ **Created:** [November 6, 2022, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-know-the-star-trek-parody-of-cw-mccalls-convoy/974462 "2022-11-06T11:53:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2022, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-know-the-star-trek-parody-of-cw-mccalls-convoy/974462/1 "2022-11-06T11:53:56Z")
I learned it back in the '70s, but think I’ve forgotten some parts. I can’t find it on the Internet either. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2022, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-know-the-star-trek-parody-of-cw-mccalls-convoy/974462/2 "2022-11-06T12:43:07Z")
Oddfish. I’m very much into parodies, even have a few of my own published online. But I have never heard of this. Is it possible you heard it on a local radio station done by local DJ’s therefore it did not have national exposure and thus you will never find it. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2022, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-know-the-star-trek-parody-of-cw-mccalls-convoy/974462/3 "2022-11-06T12:43:41Z")
Do you mean “Star Trekkin” by the Firm? > **[The Firm (comedy) – Star Trekkin](https://genius.com/The-firm-comedy-star-trekkin-lyrics)** > > The biggest hit for the comedy band The Firm, Star Trekkin' makes fun of the then-current craze for Star Trek with impersonations of most of the main characters: in order of ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2022, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-know-the-star-trek-parody-of-cw-mccalls-convoy/974462/4 "2022-11-06T12:57:13Z")
No, I’m familiar with that one. The one I’m thinking of starts out (to the best of my recollection) _It was Star Date 3416.9, and we’d swung the phasers 'round,_ _I said “Scotty, this here’s Captain Kirk, and I’m gonna put the hammer down!”_ _We were sailin’ through interstellar space about 90 times the speed of light,_ _we met a cave full of Klingon Smokey Bears, and we passed 'em on the right._ _They said “Hold on, Federation Roger Ramjet, the limit here’s Factor 3!”_ _I said “Uhura, did you hear Smokey ask if he could open a hailin’ frequency?”_ _‘Cause we got ourselves a Star Fleet, trekkin’ through the night._ _Yes, we got ourselves a Star Fleet, ain’t she a beautiful sight?_ _Come on and join our Star Fleet, ain’t nothin’ gonna get in our way!_ _We’re gonna take our mighty Star Fleet across the Milky Way!_ _Star Fleet!_ _Star Fleet!_ ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2022, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-know-the-star-trek-parody-of-cw-mccalls-convoy/974462/5 "2022-11-06T13:02:07Z")
Wow, I know I’ve never heard that, because I’d have remembered! Sounds clever. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2022, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-know-the-star-trek-parody-of-cw-mccalls-convoy/974462/6 "2022-11-06T13:04:14Z")
Here’s a palate cleanser between Google searches… [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/HoXevAtEhJY/hqdefault.jpg "Convoy sung by the one and only William Shatner") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HoXevAtEhJY) ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2022, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-know-the-star-trek-parody-of-cw-mccalls-convoy/974462/7 "2022-11-06T13:05:38Z")
A fellow member of the SCA wrote it down for me at the party following a tournament. I carried the notebook around with me for about six months and then lost it. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2022, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-know-the-star-trek-parody-of-cw-mccalls-convoy/974462/8 "2022-11-06T13:07:25Z")
And that was … vintage Shatner! 🤣 ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2022, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-know-the-star-trek-parody-of-cw-mccalls-convoy/974462/9 "2022-11-06T13:19:57Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > The one I’m thinking of starts out (to the best of my recollection) I haven’t listened to @Elmer_J.Fudd ’s ‘Shatner singing Convoy’ link yet, but I totally read this in my head using Shatner voice. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2022, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-know-the-star-trek-parody-of-cw-mccalls-convoy/974462/10 "2022-11-06T13:23:26Z")
The rest of the lyrics I remember are _We were half a parsec front door to back, and a light-year edge to edge,_ _and we showed them Klingon Smokey Bears how far the Treaty’d stretch._ _We had cargo liners, cruisers, scouts; we had dreadnoughts fore and aft,_ _and 16 long-eared Vulcan hippies in a rented shuttlecraft._ _[Pshhht!] Uh, put them Vulcans in behind the cargo liner, his computer’s gone out! [Pshhht!]_ _[Chorus]_ _Well, we’d just come out of Klingon space, and what should lie ahead,_ _but a Romulan border checkpoint, and my phaser banks were dead!_ _I said “Scotty, this here’s Captain Kirk, I don’t believe I can read that sign!”_ _So we shot the gate at Warp Factor 8, and we left 'em all behind!_ _[Chorus]_ _[Pshhht!] Ah, ten-four, good buddy, keep the matter side in and the anti-matter side out! [Pshhht!]_ ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2022, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-know-the-star-trek-parody-of-cw-mccalls-convoy/974462/11 "2022-11-06T16:50:38Z")
Maybe it was a thing that only traveled in SCA circles like numerous other of their parody songs. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2022, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-know-the-star-trek-parody-of-cw-mccalls-convoy/974462/12 "2022-11-06T16:53:19Z")
Could have been. I don’t remember him telling me where it was from, or even if I asked him that. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2022, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-know-the-star-trek-parody-of-cw-mccalls-convoy/974462/13 "2022-11-07T04:07:56Z")
Wow, I’ve been a C.W. McCall fan since the mid-Seventies, and I thought I’d heard all the parodies. That’s a new one for me! ---
**Author:** ![Pavelb1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/439d5e/32.png) [@Pavelb1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pavelb1)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2022, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-know-the-star-trek-parody-of-cw-mccalls-convoy/974462/14 "2022-11-07T07:16:04Z")
Similarly (As far as maybe it was just a local thing) at my first convention around 1978, a guy was selling xerox copies of a comic parody of “Where No Man Has Gone Before” The only joke I remember was “I’ll crush you! Crush you like elephants!”…“Thinks big doesn’t he?” I assume this was something the guy himself had done. I loved the bootlegness of old old conventions. We saw Trek eps, the TOS bloopers, showings of When The Earth Stood Still. All in rooms about as big as a large living room. Holy crap check out this program. Masquerade ball at 10pm? Yikes. And “What its like to sleep with a Sci-Fi writer” with Guy Haldeman (Joes wife) Needless to say, I was just there for a few hours during the day, and missed the drunk Sci-Fi debauchery Im sure went on. > **[OKon II Program Book - Front Cover - Front Cover - Mark Wallace](https://fanac.org/fanzines/OKon/OKon2-fc.html)** > > OKon II Program Book - Front Cover - Front Cover - Mark Wallace ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2022, 8:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-know-the-star-trek-parody-of-cw-mccalls-convoy/974462/15 "2022-11-07T08:18:36Z")
My guess is it’s amateur filk. > **[Filk music](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filk_music)** > > Filk music is a musical culture, genre, and community tied to science fiction, fantasy, and horror fandom and a type of fan labor. The genre has existed since the early 1950s and been played primarily since the mid-1970s. > The term "filk" (originally a typographical error) predates 1955. (See also below.) > As Interfilk's "What is it?" page demonstrates, there is no consensus on the definition of filk. ---
**Author:** ![Bicycle\_Bill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bicycle_bill/32/6208_2.png) [@Bicycle\_Bill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bicycle_Bill)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2022, 8:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-know-the-star-trek-parody-of-cw-mccalls-convoy/974462/16 "2022-11-07T08:44:35Z")
> [@Infovore](#): > > Wow, I’ve been a C.W. McCall fan since the mid-Seventies, and I thought I’d heard all the parodies. That’s a new one for me! Ditto!! And speaking of C. W. McCall, are you aware that his back-up band for “Convoy” still sort-of exists and performs yet today… as “Mannheim Steamroller”? Yup, Chip Davis had been working as a advertising executive in the Omaha area and created the character of C.W. for a series of bread commercials. He had also formed a ‘New Age’ musical group in 1974 that would eventually become “Mannheim Steamroller”, and tapped several of these original members for the commercials and, later on, the C.W. McCall recordings (where they were credited as “The Fort Calhoun Nuclear Power Plant”). And if you listen to some of the later C.W. McCall stuff, like “There Won’t Be No Country Music”, “Aurora Borealis”, or “Roses for Mama”, and pay attention to the backing music, you can hear the Mannheim sound starting to gel even back then. _ **-“BB”-** _ ---
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2022, 10:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-know-the-star-trek-parody-of-cw-mccalls-convoy/974462/17 "2022-11-07T10:16:17Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > The rest of the lyrics I remember are How are you able to remember all of those lyrics? Did you hear the song over and over? If so, how? Was it played on a local radio station? ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2022, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-know-the-star-trek-parody-of-cw-mccalls-convoy/974462/18 "2022-11-07T15:50:17Z")
> [@Pavelb1](#): > > missed the drunk Sci-Fi debauchery Im sure went on. Did some not quite famous writer try to drink a bottle of booze sitting on a window ledge, and fall to his death? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2022, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-know-the-star-trek-parody-of-cw-mccalls-convoy/974462/19 "2022-11-07T17:04:21Z")
I made it a point to memorize them while I still had the notebook in my possession. I remember performing the song once around a campfire at a folk festival on the Isle of Man in June 1976. As mentioned above, the lyrics were written out for me by someone I’d never met before and whose name I don’t recall. (This was in March 1976.) I have never heard it performed by anyone else, nor have I ever found another person who knows of it. Hence the question asked in my original post. ---
**Author:** ![mixdenny](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mixdenny/32/2962_2.png) [@mixdenny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mixdenny)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2022, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-know-the-star-trek-parody-of-cw-mccalls-convoy/974462/20 "2022-11-07T17:07:57Z")
The size of that convoy was impressive! Must have made staying in formation kind of tough with the radio lag and all. Or did the Star Trek universe solve that problem and allow instant communication. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-know-the-star-trek-parody-of-cw-mccalls-convoy/974462.md?page=2)