# Anybody mind if I gripe about my inlaws a bit? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 9, 2009, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-mind-if-i-gripe-about-my-inlaws-a-bit/499175 "2009-06-09T01:53:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Jettboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/85e7bf/32.png) [@Jettboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jettboy)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-mind-if-i-gripe-about-my-inlaws-a-bit/499175/21 "2009-06-10T18:55:47Z")
Oh my God, you’re **ME**! Except I’m a dude, and my child is a boy, but other than that… > [@PeskiPiksi](#): > > You know, my daughter did inherit some traits from me and my side of the family. So far you’ve claimed her curly hair, biggish feet, tendency to tiptoe, liking of sweets, late teething, easy-going personality, liking of sweet potatoes, enjoyment of banging on the toy piano, the list goes on. Anything she does is a result of her genes from her Dad’s side, according to you. She’s half me, too, lady!? I hear you, Sister. My in-laws try to pin specifics of my child’s behavior and physical traits on their far-flung hillbilly kinfolk rather than say he might have got anything from me. No, he _doesn’t_ have Uncle Bocephus’s jaw; he has MY jaw. No, he didn’t inherit Crazy Aunt EmmaJeanJoBob’s artistic talent; he has MINE. > [@PeskiPiksi](#): > > No, the world would not come to an end if our daughter turns out to be gay. Geesh, you’d think it would be more acceptable for her to be a serial murderer or something. According to my in-laws, the only thing my son could do that’s _worse_ than being gay would be to grow up and marry a “nigra” woman. > [@PeskiPiksi](#): > > Please stop talking. Please. That’s my father-in-law, also known as The Professor of Everything and Keeper of Universal Wisdom, as well. Whenever he starts on one of his 20-minute-long pontifications, my inner voice is screaming “Shut up! Please! God, I’m not really sure I believe in you, but if you’ll silence that old man over there I’ll devote the remainder of my life to your service!” ---
**Author:** ![ENugent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/4af34b/32.png) [@ENugent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ENugent)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-mind-if-i-gripe-about-my-inlaws-a-bit/499175/22 "2009-06-10T19:16:42Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > I guess the issues can be summed up in a single incident: at a party with both sides of the family present, my dad had a long and amicable conversation with my mother in law’s brother - and afterwards, with my wife present, said something like “you know, I was talking to [uncle], and - he reads!” > > Words cannot express the surprise he put into that statement, which conveyed like a slap in the face his utter conviction that my wife’s family are a bunch of illiterate boors. I hope you said something to him at the time. ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-mind-if-i-gripe-about-my-inlaws-a-bit/499175/23 "2009-06-10T19:25:06Z")
My mom does the same thing with our kids. I think it’s an evolutionary thing—each tribe trying to claim the new offspring as their own, or some such bullshit. Still, it drives me crazier than it does my husband, and he’s the one whose genes are being shunned. Well, no, there was the day when she went on and on about how our daughter had the same “denim blue” eyes as her cousins (on our side of the family) and, after my mom left, he swore he would gouge our daughter’s eyes out with a grapefruit spoon if they didn’t change colors and he had to listen to that forever. Fortunately, they eventually turned brown. My in-laws rock, though. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2009, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-mind-if-i-gripe-about-my-inlaws-a-bit/499175/24 "2009-06-10T19:35:27Z")
> [@ENugent](#): > > I hope you said something to him at the time. I let him have it, but it did no good - the problem is that he & my mom both believe this to be true, and no amount of my telling them not to be snobs will ever change that: at best, I can perhaps convince them not to _display_ an offensive degree of snobbery. My wife is smart and knows all of this, and is certainly willing to make allowances for my aged parents: but it rankles, even though my parents are always perfectly nice towards her (their view appears to be that her evident smarts & education is all the more admirable, comming from such a background). ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Woodhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@Miss\_Woodhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Woodhouse)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2009, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-mind-if-i-gripe-about-my-inlaws-a-bit/499175/25 "2009-06-11T04:31:55Z")
My sympathies on the gifts and other frustrations. I’ve developed a happy peace with the fact that my MIL does not buy me gifts. I get a very small Christmas present if they are feeling flush (They almost never have money) and I have never received a birthday present from them. Of course, their son hasn’t gotten a birthday present from them since we got married either. I’m ok with this though, because she and I have extremely different taste and she has no clue. One year, early in my marriage, she got me a kit for sewing an over sized vest. It had bird houses on it. With cute birds. and flowers. I felt obligated to actually make the darn thing _and then wear it._ I would rather never get another gift from them than appear in public in another bird house vest. They are lovely people, though, even if I refuse to give them my e-mail address so they can’t send me e-mail forwards. ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2009, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-mind-if-i-gripe-about-my-inlaws-a-bit/499175/26 "2009-06-11T05:38:06Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > I kind of got the hint that I wasn’t one of my MIL’s favorites when we found a Glamour Shot photo we’d given her of me gathering dust in the garage. > > . Why would you have a picture taken of you gathering dust in a garage? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-mind-if-i-gripe-about-my-inlaws-a-bit/499175.md?page=1)