# Anybody Need Some Tiny Rants? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 7, 2006, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-need-some-tiny-rants/363561 "2006-07-07T22:08:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2006, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-need-some-tiny-rants/363561/161 "2006-07-11T23:29:10Z")
**THERE…ARE…THREE…FIRES!** ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2006, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-need-some-tiny-rants/363561/162 "2006-07-11T23:31:52Z")
…wierd typo…must be these little puppets. The little button eyes keeping sticking between the keys. ---
**Author:** ![Faruiza](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecd19e/32.png) [@Faruiza](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Faruiza)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2006, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-need-some-tiny-rants/363561/163 "2006-07-11T23:43:35Z")
[QUOTE=carnivorousplant] …wierd typo…must be these little puppets. The little button eyes keeping sticking between the keys. [/QUOTE] I…I just…_snorted._ 😃 ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2006, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-need-some-tiny-rants/363561/164 "2006-07-11T23:49:42Z")
[QUOTE=Faruiza] **carnivorous** , How much does a fire cost? [/QUOTE] Oh, yeah, yeah. Will, it kinda depends. Does it have to look like an accident? ---
**Author:** ![Susie\_Derkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Susie\_Derkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Susie_Derkins)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2006, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-need-some-tiny-rants/363561/165 "2006-07-12T00:57:40Z")
[QUOTE=lisacurl] And… sig. [/QUOTE] Too 🆒! ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2006, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-need-some-tiny-rants/363561/166 "2006-07-12T01:03:04Z")
[QUOTE=homeskillet] Did you send that into Reader’s Digest? _Or just lift the idea!_ I could swear I read the exact same story, only I thought it was about a couch, in _Life in These United States_. [/QUOTE] Haven’t read _Reader’s Digest_ in years (except for an occasional skim at the doctor’s office if I’ve forgotten my book), and nor have I sent anything to them. It’s possible that I’ve read it somewhere and it stuck in my sub-concious, but I thought it was an original idea when I suggested it to him. ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2006, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-need-some-tiny-rants/363561/167 "2006-07-12T01:17:08Z")
Two rants, both work-related: First, to retail and office computer users: Please don’t put cute little stickers on your monitors. I don’t care if it’s a little fuzzy cat that makes you laugh, or if that damn sticker saved your life in Korea. Some poor bastard is going to have to scrape that sticker off someday, and let me tell you, it’s a tiring and frustrating job. Same goes for drawing on your computer with marker. Just don’t. And don’t spill drinks on your cash register either. :mad: Second, to my (hopefully former) cow-orker: I really have to wonder what your home life is like. Is your husband some kind of brain-dead tyrant? You’re so fucking obsequious. You apoligize for everything you do. The mildest bit of advice is followed by “Just a friendly reminder.” Your bare wisps of humor, which are apparently insanely hilarious to you, are not funny, and you do not need to tell me you were “just making a little joke”, and certainly not in a tone that suggests that I might not have gotten it and and that this was your humor ration for the day, carefully hoarded. You don’t have to make a careful explanation of where you’re going and where you’ve been every time I see you; I am not the boss. If you weren’t a tiny, frail little old woman I’d just rip into you one day. But perhaps I’ll just shatter your “helpful” collecting of soda can tabs instead. :mad: Other cow-worker: I’m sorry that you have epilepsy. I’m sorry that you had an attack so severe that you injured your jaw and lower teeth and so had to visit the doctor. But how, pray tell, will your can-a-day of chewing tobacco help your poor chompers? Moron. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2006, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-need-some-tiny-rants/363561/168 "2006-07-12T01:25:58Z")
[QUOTE=Love Rhombus] But perhaps I’ll just shatter your “helpful” collecting of soda can tabs instead. [/QUOTE] PLease elaborate on the above…collection. [QUOTE=Love Rhombus] will your can-a-day of chewing tobacco help your poor chompers? Moron. [/QUOTE] While stupid, that’s why they call it addictive. I quite smoking when they locked me in the hospital for three days, cut off my leg (well, almost) and gave me morphine on a stick. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2006, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-need-some-tiny-rants/363561/169 "2006-07-12T02:46:53Z")
[QUOTE=carnivorousplant] PLease elaborate on the above…collection. [/QUOTE] She dug my empty can of soda out of the trash and proceeded to “educate” me on the amazing program whereby one can trade tabs fo time on a liver dialyasis machine. I’m a Snopes reader, so I can’t help but feel a certain evil temptation to print out their explanation of the legend and take it into work. Is that wrong? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2006, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-need-some-tiny-rants/363561/170 "2006-07-12T04:36:26Z")
[QUOTE=Love Rhombus] She dug my empty can of soda out of the trash and proceeded to “educate” me on the amazing program whereby one can trade tabs fo time on a liver dialyasis machine. I’m a Snopes reader, so I can’t help but feel a certain evil temptation to print out their explanation of the legend and take it into work. Is that wrong? [/QUOTE] Print it out and leave it anonymously in the lunchroom. 😃 ( **carnivorousplant** , you’re really weird. I like that.) ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2006, 11:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-need-some-tiny-rants/363561/171 "2006-07-12T11:13:59Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally Posted by **Love Rhombus** > She dug my empty can of soda out of the trash and proceeded to “educate” me on the amazing program whereby one can trade tabs fo time on a liver dialyasis machine. I’m a Snopes reader, so I can’t help but feel a certain evil temptation to print out their explanation of the legend and take it into work. Is that wrong? [QUOTE=featherlou] Print it out and leave it anonymously in the lunchroom. 😃 [/QUOTE] I’d print it out and leave it right on her desk. But I’m mean when it comes to crap like that. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2006, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-need-some-tiny-rants/363561/172 "2006-07-12T12:40:21Z")
[QUOTE=Love Rhombus] one can trade tabs fo time on a liver dialyasis machine. [/QUOTE] Okay, I’m torn here. Email here the Snopes page. Leave print outs of the UL on here desk, in the break room. -OR- Ask her if she isn’t worried about industrial magnets with that much metal lying around. (Yeah, it’s AL, but she’ll probably freak out anyway.) ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2006, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-need-some-tiny-rants/363561/173 "2006-07-12T12:41:47Z")
[QUOTE=carnivorousplant] on here desk [/QUOTE] I can’t type with thise damn puppets! The eyes get caug… OHMIGOD! HAL’S EYE FELL OUT! ---
**Author:** ![Faruiza](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecd19e/32.png) [@Faruiza](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Faruiza)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2006, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-need-some-tiny-rants/363561/174 "2006-07-12T15:58:31Z")
[QUOTE=carnivorousplant] Oh, yeah, yeah. Will, it kinda depends. Does it have to look like an accident? [/QUOTE] Not really. See, it just has to look like it wasn’t _me._ And after this: [QUOTE=carnivorousplant] I can’t type with thise damn puppets! The eyes get caug… OHMIGOD! HAL’S EYE FELL OUT! [/QUOTE] I’m hoping that you’re male, because I think I need to breed with you. If you’re female…um, so what? How _you_ doin’? 😉 That was quite possibly the funniest thing I’ll read all week. Possibly all month. It’s in the top ten for the year. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2006, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-need-some-tiny-rants/363561/175 "2006-07-12T16:10:50Z")
[QUOTE=Faruiza] I’m hoping that you’re male, [/QUOTE] Shut up and help me find Hal’s eye! It fell between the D and the F, Gof famnn it! ---
**Author:** ![Faruiza](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecd19e/32.png) [@Faruiza](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Faruiza)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2006, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-need-some-tiny-rants/363561/176 "2006-07-12T18:03:08Z")
Take it easy, take it easy!! Unbend a paper clip, stick a tiny wad of chewed gum on the tip. Stick it between the D and F. There, don’t you feel better? Or is Hal now screaming because you stabbed his eye with such an obviously wicked tool? ---
**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2006, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-need-some-tiny-rants/363561/177 "2006-07-12T18:36:23Z")
Hey, you know what? I like playing World of Warcraft! I’m a huge fan of the game! My husband and I spent most of the evening last night questing together to get a non-combat sprite darter pet. We had a freaking blast. I’m not trying to get anyone to play the game who isn’t interested, okay, so I’d appreciate if people who don’t know shit about computers, let alone gaming could perhaps tone down the smirks and joking name-calling of “geek”. You know what I think is a geeky hobby? Scrapbooking! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2006, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-need-some-tiny-rants/363561/178 "2006-07-12T18:39:25Z")
I asked, “can you see anthing?” and Hal said, “Yes, wondefull things.” Then I shook the keyboard upside down and his eye rolled under the desk. I glued it back on with Liquid Paper. TM He blinks a lot. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2006, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-need-some-tiny-rants/363561/179 "2006-07-12T18:54:22Z")
Would you guys on the subway please stop spreading your legs so wide you take up the space of two people on a subway bench-seat. We all know, IT AIN’T THAT BIG! ---
**Author:** ![ArrMatey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/arrmatey/32/3522_2.png) [@ArrMatey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArrMatey)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2006, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-need-some-tiny-rants/363561/180 "2006-07-12T19:43:19Z")
[QUOTE=ArrMatey!] I’m sick of hosting the party. I’m sick of entertaining. I’m sick of being the one to bring the gift every time, only to find when it’s time for me, nothing happens. And before anyone says, “You need to tell them that.” I have. I’ve gotten nothing but empty promises for my trouble. This, however, is a big enough rant for its own thread… I’m just too annoyed and exhausted to type it all up. Besides, I’m expected to host in another 2 hours. Gotta be ready. :mad: [/QUOTE] As a follow-up. Another session of ‘telling them’ later, and… Well… It didn’t go as well as I’d like. Pretty much I’ve come to a place where I have to recognize that my friends aren’t that interrested in entertaining others as I’d like them to be. Harsh awakening, but… At least, hopefully, the empty promises will cease. ☹ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-need-some-tiny-rants/363561.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-need-some-tiny-rants/363561.md?page=10)