# Anybody See "Artificial Heart Guy" on the News? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 22, 2001, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-see-artificial-heart-guy-on-the-news/77555 "2001-08-22T15:39:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-see-artificial-heart-guy-on-the-news/77555/1 "2001-08-22T15:39:53Z")
I’m the first one to say “huzzah!” and I think it’s a great advance and in another 100 years or so it will doubtless save many lives. And Heartless Guy seems awfully sweet. But somewhere, deep from my Transyvanian ancestry, perhaps, a teeny bit of me was kinda creeped-out, and I had the tiniest urge to grab the nearest flaming torch and take to the streets screaming “zombie! undead!” like Una O’Connor . . . ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-see-artificial-heart-guy-on-the-news/77555/2 "2001-08-22T15:41:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > **And Heartless Guy seems awfully sweet.** I’d like to be the first to say I LOVE this statement. ---
**Author:** ![Podkayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Podkayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Podkayne)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-see-artificial-heart-guy-on-the-news/77555/3 "2001-08-22T15:45:13Z")
He said that he misses his heartbeat. The pump just makes a constant whirring sound. Now, I’m a technophile, and I think the lifesaving potential of artificial organs is fantastic and that this is an amazing time to be alive. But when I heard that, I felt profoundly sad. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-see-artificial-heart-guy-on-the-news/77555/4 "2001-08-22T15:50:06Z")
“Originally posted by Eve: And Heartless Guy seems awfully sweet.” “I’d like to be the first to say I LOVE this statement.” —Actually, now that I think of it, that has pretty much been the sad story of my life . . . ---
**Author:** ![CommonMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a698b9/32.png) [@CommonMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CommonMan)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-see-artificial-heart-guy-on-the-news/77555/5 "2001-08-22T18:12:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Podkayne \* > \*\*He said that he misses his heartbeat. > > The pump just makes a constant whirring sound. > > Now, I’m a technophile, and I think the lifesaving potential of artificial organs is fantastic and that this is an amazing time to be alive. > > But when I heard that, I felt profoundly sad. \*\* When I read this, it gave me the shivers. I think putting my hand on my chest and not feeling a heartbeat would be very, very weird. I imagine I could tune out the whirring after a while, but no heartbeat? _Brrrr_. Does anyone know if Heartless Guy (too funny **Eve** ) has a pulse? Or does the artificial heart move blood through the veins at a constant rate? ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-see-artificial-heart-guy-on-the-news/77555/6 "2001-08-22T18:24:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Podkayne \* > \*\*He said that he misses his heartbeat. > > The pump just makes a constant whirring sound. > > Now, I’m a technophile, and I think the lifesaving potential of artificial organs is fantastic and that this is an amazing time to be alive. > > But when I heard that, I felt profoundly sad. \*\* I totally understand your visceral response, but think of it this way: One way or another, this guy was going to end up without a heartbeat very soon. I’m sure he prefers this option. ---
**Author:** ![Palmyra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/57b2e6/32.png) [@Palmyra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palmyra)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-see-artificial-heart-guy-on-the-news/77555/7 "2001-08-22T18:39:49Z")
AND… Once he regains his strength and his nutrition and body weight are much improved he can be put back on the transplant list. I think that’s what the New York Times article said [I’ll have to re-read it to be sure]. ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-see-artificial-heart-guy-on-the-news/77555/8 "2001-08-22T18:41:41Z")
“I left my artificial, electro-mechanical blood pumping apparatus in San Francisco…” Nah, it does nothing for me. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-see-artificial-heart-guy-on-the-news/77555/9 "2001-08-22T18:52:32Z")
“Once he regains his strength and his nutrition and body weight are much improved he can be put back on the transplant list.” —From what I heard on the news last night (and they phrased it more diplomatically) he will be darned lucky to make it through the summer. ---
**Author:** ![Podkayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Podkayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Podkayne)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-see-artificial-heart-guy-on-the-news/77555/10 "2001-08-22T18:54:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CommonMan \* > Does anyone know if Heartless Guy (too funny **Eve** ) has a pulse? Or does the artificial heart move blood through the veins at a constant rate? From [CNN.com](http://www.cnn.com/2001/HEALTH/conditions/07/03/artificial.heart/index.html): “The AbioCor is designed to move blood through the lungs and to the rest of the body, simulating the rhythm of a heartbeat.” The circulatory system (not to mention all the organs it services) is designed to work with a pulse; I imagine it would be bad to keep the blood under constant pressure. When you lie awake at night listening to your heartbeat, I wonder what you’re hearing, the heartbeat itself, or the pulse of blood in your ears? I’m happy for the guy, **Ogre** , really I am. And if I had a choice between an artificial heart and Certain Death, well, duh. I just had an unusual pang of superstitious dread, that’s all. : ) ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-see-artificial-heart-guy-on-the-news/77555/11 "2001-08-22T19:11:33Z")
[The AbioMed site](http://www.abiomed.com/Fabiocor.html) says the AbioCor simulates the pulsations of a heartbeat, and adds elsewhere that certain organs require it. A diagram in the local paper, more detailed than anything on the Web site, showed 2 tubes representing the left and right ventricles, with a motor and cam arrangement between them. The cam apparently alternately squeezes the tubes, providing peristaltic pumping action. Check valves are part of the system, too. Mr. Tools said himself that he’d have been dead seven weeks ago, and there was no decision to make. Who wouldn’t? As for his remaining life span, consider that point. He was on the verge of death, and any recovery from that condition will take a long time to the extent it occurs at all. Don’t blame the artificial heart for that. This is a major development, folks, on the level of the development of anesthesia. Now, if your heart goes bad, you don’t have to wait for someone else to die suddenly to get it replaced. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-see-artificial-heart-guy-on-the-news/77555/12 "2001-08-22T19:19:44Z")
“This is a major development, folks, on the level of the development of anesthesia. Now, if your heart goes bad, you don’t have to wait for someone else to die suddenly to get it replaced.” —Oh, I agree 100 percent. It’s just my inner Una O’Connor who won’t stop screeching, “zombie! undead!!” ---
**Author:** ![Fiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e274bd/32.png) [@Fiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiver)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-see-artificial-heart-guy-on-the-news/77555/13 "2001-08-22T19:47:20Z")
I think it would be pretty cool not to have a heartbeat, but maybe I’ve just been watching too much _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_. And, **CommonMan** , I’m sure the artificial heart “beats” and that Mr. Tools has a pulse. But the movement is probably internal to the heart; you wouldn’t see the movement just looking at it (just like the fuel pump in your car doesn’t move relative to the car). I know the purpose of artificial hearts is to buy the patient some time while waiting for a biological donor heart to become available, but it seems reasonable to guess that as this technology improves it will become less and less important for people to get the fake ticker replaced. Two questions occur to me at this time: - One of the body’s responses to a “fight or flight” stimulus is an increased heartrate. Mr. Tools’s new heart can’t sense or respond to that, can it? What happens when he becomes stressed? - I also suppose Mr. Tools’s heart can’t ramp up on demand from exercise either. Does this limit how vigorously he can exercise, or just put strain on the heart when he does? Will future versions of the heart have a dial? ---
**Author:** ![bughunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@bughunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bughunter)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-see-artificial-heart-guy-on-the-news/77555/14 "2001-08-22T19:59:02Z")
> [@](#): > > **The pump just makes a constant whirring sound.** Actually, I heard on NPR that Mr. Tools said he _likes_ the whirring sound because it reminds him he’s alive. I want to know why, for the press conference and photo op, they had to tape that oxygen tube to his nose so that it came _straight out of his face!_ I mean, he looked like some sort of bizarre little tin man or something… all he needed was a funnel hat. All in all, I’m happy for him and as I age I am more and more grateful for every succesive medical advance announced! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Britt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Britt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Britt)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-see-artificial-heart-guy-on-the-news/77555/15 "2001-08-22T20:15:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > \*\*“This is a major development, folks, on the level of the development of anesthesia. Now, if your heart goes bad, you don’t have to wait for someone else to die suddenly to get it replaced.” > > —Oh, I agree 100 percent. It’s just my inner Una O’Connor who won’t stop screeching, “zombie! undead!!” \*\* Well that will teach you to improve your diet, and stick to a newer brand of screen legends. And here I was thinking cannibals all came from Borneo or darkest Africa. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-see-artificial-heart-guy-on-the-news/77555/16 "2001-08-22T20:16:53Z")
I appreciate what he is doing for the advancement of Big-S-Science. We could not make the advances we do without people like him who realize they are dead anyway and they might as well do something for others while on their way out. He has gone through considerable discomfort he could have avoided and I find that heroic. ---
**Author:** ![CommonMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a698b9/32.png) [@CommonMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CommonMan)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-see-artificial-heart-guy-on-the-news/77555/17 "2001-08-22T21:23:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CommonMan \* > > Does anyone know if Heartless Guy (too funny **Eve** ) has a pulse? Or does the artificial heart move blood through the veins at a constant rate? \*\* Thanks **Podkayne** , **ElvisL1ves** ,and **Fiver** for clearing that up. I wasn’t aware that organs required a pulse to function properly. How about that, you can even learn something in MPSIMS. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-see-artificial-heart-guy-on-the-news/77555/18 "2001-08-22T21:44:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ElvisL1ves \* > A diagram in the local paper, more detailed than anything on the Web site, showed 2 tubes representing the left and right ventricles, with a motor and cam arrangement between them. Come to [http://www.coronarysluts.com](http://www.coronarysluts.com)! We’ll show you close ups of the _inside_ of the chest cavity of barely legal teens. Our heart cams give you such a large view, you’ll see both the arteries AND veins of hundreds of horny housewives across America. Watch as the our skank machine guzzles buckets full of blood every minute just for you! We’ve even set up an audio file so you can hear the beat beat beat of pulmanary device while you beat and pull yourself in the process! [sub]oh that was wrong. so, so, so wrong.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![SuperNelson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7feea3/32.png) [@SuperNelson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuperNelson)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-see-artificial-heart-guy-on-the-news/77555/19 "2001-08-22T22:10:35Z")
As for the whirring sound, he’ll get used to it. I’ve had a mechanical valve since 1984. The ticking drove me nuts at first, but after a while it got to the point where I had to concentrate to hear it. Granted, Heartless Guy has a lot more to get used to, but if he’s around long enough, he won’t notice the whirring at all. Just hope he has that time. Sounds to me like he deserves it. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-see-artificial-heart-guy-on-the-news/77555/20 "2001-08-22T22:28:33Z")
This is one of the first times that I have been left nearly speechless by a medical advance. Dear Goddess, I hope that man lives long enough to get a transplant. What an amazing breakthrough, and I second **Eve** on the “huzzah!” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-see-artificial-heart-guy-on-the-news/77555.md?page=2)