# Anybody seen my keys? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 21, 2000, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-seen-my-keys/15007 "2000-03-21T02:17:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Breckinshire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/71c47a/32.png) [@Breckinshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Breckinshire)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-seen-my-keys/15007/1 "2000-03-21T02:17:00Z")
Anyone? Bueller? Bueller? * * * _A hush fell over the courtroom, killing six._ ---
**Author:** ![Billdo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billdo/32/315_2.png) [@Billdo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billdo)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-seen-my-keys/15007/2 "2000-03-21T02:23:00Z")
Did you check your jacket pocket? ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-seen-my-keys/15007/3 "2000-03-21T02:24:00Z")
I’m pretty sure I saw them in MPSIMS… * * * [Change Your Password, Please](http://204.95.48.199/cgi-bin/ubbcgi/ubbmisc.cgi?action=getannounce&ForumNumber=3&Start=2451545.99&End=2451911&Session=2451598.1854) and don’t use HTML, as it has been disabled, but you can learn about superscripts [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum2/HTML/000795.html) ---
**Author:** ![CanadianSue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@CanadianSue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanadianSue)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-seen-my-keys/15007/4 "2000-03-21T02:40:00Z")
Found mine today… locked inside my car on the seat. * * * We are, each of us angels with only one wing,and we can only fly by embracing one another ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-seen-my-keys/15007/5 "2000-03-21T02:47:00Z")
They’re under the couch. ---
**Author:** ![kinoons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a698b9/32.png) [@kinoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kinoons)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-seen-my-keys/15007/6 "2000-03-21T02:50:00Z")
Yeah, I saw the car key gnomes walking off with them. Yeah, the same damn gnomes that hide all of your small items that take forever to find there after. There is a warrent for their arrest, dead or alive * * * Kinooning it up for 20 years and counting ---
**Author:** ![mega\_the\_roo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3da27b/32.png) [@mega\_the\_roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mega_the_roo)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-seen-my-keys/15007/7 "2000-03-21T03:15:00Z")
to hell with your keys! where the hoo did the moon go? * * * if wishes were fishes, we could walk on the ocean. ---
**Author:** ![Bluepony](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Bluepony](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bluepony)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-seen-my-keys/15007/8 "2000-03-21T03:41:00Z")
Your keys probably went to the mysterious pocket universe MY DAMN SOFTBALL MITT WENT TO!!! Shit, the season is starting soon… * * * _…send lawyers, guns, and money…_ ``` Warren Zevon ``` ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Watson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Dr.Watson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Watson)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-seen-my-keys/15007/9 "2000-03-21T03:53:00Z")
Boy, this is a pretty nice car. A new paint job and a little work on that VIN and I think this could do just nicely . . . You really ought to clean your house, by the way . . . Dr. Watson “If you wish to drown, do not torture youself with shallow water.” ---
**Author:** ![Sue\_Duhnym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Sue\_Duhnym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_Duhnym)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-seen-my-keys/15007/10 "2000-03-21T04:12:00Z")
Florida…they’re in FLORIDA!!! * * * A woman needs four animals in her life: A mink in the closet, a Jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bedroom, and an ass to pay for it all. —Zsa Zsa Gabor ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-seen-my-keys/15007/11 "2000-03-21T04:15:00Z")
Do you have any young kids in the house? Especially ones that like to play with the toilet handle? ---
**Author:** ![Surgoshan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Surgoshan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surgoshan)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-seen-my-keys/15007/12 "2000-03-21T05:37:00Z")
Yeah, and if you want them back, send me your 16 year old daughter. If you don’t have a 16 year old daughter, then send me enough money to buy one of my own. Ask Satan for the address. * * * I sold my soul to Satan for a dollar. I got it in the mail. ---
**Author:** ![Lexicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ac8455/32.png) [@Lexicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lexicon)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-seen-my-keys/15007/13 "2000-03-21T05:52:00Z")
They’re behind the couch… ---
**Author:** ![Minxsmom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d07c76/32.png) [@Minxsmom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Minxsmom)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-seen-my-keys/15007/14 "2000-03-21T06:57:00Z")
They’re in the freezer next to the frozen banana guacamole * * * Princess of the Time and Space Continuum since 1969 (upgraded to Goddess 01/07/00) **=^…^=** Yes, I did see the plan for the bypass. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying ‘Beware of the Leopard’ - Arthur Dent ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-seen-my-keys/15007/15 "2000-03-21T07:06:00Z")
HERE they are, in my kid’s toybox! No wait…that’s my set of spares, that disappeared 3 months ago. Over here! Are these them? Heeeeeyyyyy…this is my set of keys to my ex-boyfriend’s car! Oh my, here’s another set. Are these yours? They’re not? Well, I don’t recognize these at all. That is not one of my keyrings. It’s rather pretty, though. Hm. Excuse me, I’m going to go see if hy husband perhaps knows who these belong to. Just keep looking for your keys, dear, and ignore any bloodcurdling screams you may hear from the next room, okay? I’ll be right back. * * * This space blank, until Wally thinks up something cool to put here. ---
**Author:** ![NothingMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b77776/32.png) [@NothingMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NothingMan)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 10:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-seen-my-keys/15007/16 "2000-03-21T10:18:00Z")
Just curious . . . why is there a tampon hanging on the key hook ? ::ducking thrown objects:: Hey. HEY !! It was a joke, sheesh !! I’m outta here. * * * I’ll be in the back slapping the big nosed rasta man. ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-seen-my-keys/15007/17 "2000-03-21T14:36:00Z")
I think I saw them at the [Guardian’s Notes and Queries](http://www.guardianunlimited.co.uk/notesandqueries/index.html) site. * * * DON PEDRO: Your silence most offends me, and to be merry best becomes you; for, out of question, you were born in a merry hour. BEATRICE: No, sure, my lord, my mother cried; but then there was a star danced, and under that was I born. -Much Ado About Nothing, Act II, Sc: i ---
**Author:** ![Durno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e79b87/32.png) [@Durno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Durno)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2000, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-seen-my-keys/15007/18 "2000-03-21T19:00:00Z")
No, depend on it, they’re down the back of the sofa, along with three odd socks and half a piece of v old toast * * * …because Durnovarianus had too many letters ---
**Author:** ![Jo3sh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a587f6/32.png) [@Jo3sh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jo3sh)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-seen-my-keys/15007/19 "2000-03-22T04:20:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Minxsmom: > \*\*They’re in the freezer next to the frozen banana guacamole > > \*\* Actualy, they’re where you THOUGHT you out the frozen banana guacamole when you came home from the grocery store late last night. The banana guacamole is in your jacket pocket, where you should’ve put your keys. Wash it in cold water, before the stain sets. ---
**Author:** ![Girlbysea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Girlbysea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girlbysea)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-seen-my-keys/15007/20 "2000-03-22T04:24:00Z")
After drinking this glass of wine, I think I see them… * * * * * * Girlbysea (AKA: ChiefScott’s GBS) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anybody-seen-my-keys/15007.md?page=2)