# Anyone, anytime, any way you want.... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 7, 2000, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-anytime-any-way-you-want/44435 "2000-12-07T04:06:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Tygr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@Tygr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tygr)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2000, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-anytime-any-way-you-want/44435/41 "2000-12-07T19:41:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lexicon \* > \*\*If you could have hot, sweaty, nasty, whorish, porn-star style, heavy breathing, no-holds-barred, pig sex with anyone in the whole world, who would it be? \*\* Mrs. Tygr… every f\*\*\*\*n’ night. Ohh, yeah… Bein’ married is the bestest.😛 …or maybe Nikki Cox. I gotta believe she f\*\*ks like a demon. > [@](#): > > \*\*Who would you pick to be your willing sex slave if you were the omnipotent dark overlord of the world? \*\* Grace Kelly, most beautiful woman ever. I’ll admit, I’ve wondered what she looked like nekkid. Same for Katherine Heigl. Those are the only blondes. > [@](#): > > \*\*Who would you pick to do you bidding in bed, given that they would do anything your twisted, kinky little mind desires? \*\* Liddle Miss Spears. Not 'coz I find her attractive, just to be able to wipe that smug, I’m-so-innocent-acting smirk off her face. > [@](#): > > \*\*Who would you choose to live out your deepest, darkest, most private sexual fantasies with? \*\* Sandra Bullock, Charisma Carpenter, C. Z. Jones ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2000, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-anytime-any-way-you-want/44435/42 "2000-12-07T19:58:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jess \* > **Well, shoot if we have any time to choose from, I want to change my choice.** What Jess said. Vera Ellen in her White Christmas days… yow. ---
**Author:** ![MissBHaven](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missbhaven/32/7170_2.png) [@MissBHaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissBHaven)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2000, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-anytime-any-way-you-want/44435/43 "2000-12-07T20:13:46Z")
I’m thinking Gary Cooper or James Dean from yesteryear and Russell Crowe, Mel Gibson or Bratt Pitt today. Oh baby! ---
**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2000, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-anytime-any-way-you-want/44435/44 "2000-12-07T20:39:29Z")
If I was suddenly bereft of the lovely and talented Mrs. B. hmmmm…I think Sela Ward is hot. I also think Deborah Norville is cuter than a speckled pup. If I could cast loose in time though, I usta have this thing for Elke Somers. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2000, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-anytime-any-way-you-want/44435/45 "2000-12-07T20:52:46Z")
So, “tea and cookies” is what they’re calling it back east these days?! Oh! You were actually talking about eating and drinking? Tea and cookies with you, **Eve** , would be pretty hard to beat, and I am feeling a mite peckish. But since you _are_ several hundred miles away, dear, and Emmanuele Beart is knocking on the door … ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2000, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-anytime-any-way-you-want/44435/46 "2000-12-07T20:53:26Z")
O ho. So we’re time traveling now, are we? I’m in the mood for a **Helen of Troy/Marie Antoinette** sandwich. Or maybe **Kathleen Burke** , dressed up in her **Lota the Panther Woman** costume from ISLAND OF LOST SOULS (1933). ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2000, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-anytime-any-way-you-want/44435/47 "2000-12-07T20:56:37Z")
So whaddya tink, Ike? Emma Bovary. Would ya do her? ---
**Author:** ![RonA](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/73ab20/32.png) [@RonA](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RonA)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2000, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-anytime-any-way-you-want/44435/48 "2000-12-07T21:36:41Z")
Michael Jordan, Oscar de la Hoya, Tyrese. Or any combination thereof. ---
**Author:** ![malkavia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malkavia/32/5621_2.png) [@malkavia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/malkavia)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2000, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-anytime-any-way-you-want/44435/49 "2000-12-07T22:37:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lexicon \* > \*\*[hijack] > Malkavia, how did you come up with your name? > [/hijack] \*\* _tries to answer without disrupting the thread too much_ Whitewolf’s Vampire: the Masquerade has an antideluvian vampire named Malkav. He was cursed with insanity… pretty nifty story, really. In any case, Malkavia is a feminine version of the name Malkav. _shuffles out quietly_ ---
**Author:** ![ReservoirDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8edcca/32.png) [@ReservoirDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ReservoirDog)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2000, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-anytime-any-way-you-want/44435/50 "2000-12-07T22:42:27Z")
Chelsea Clinton I, for one, think she came out of her awkward years quite well. Plus it would just be really cool. ---
**Author:** ![malkavia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malkavia/32/5621_2.png) [@malkavia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/malkavia)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2000, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-anytime-any-way-you-want/44435/51 "2000-12-07T23:05:34Z")
Giovanni Ribisi, That vampire guy in Blade _drool_, Zach De La Rocha formerly from Rage Against the Machine… because he seems pretty energetic and possibly a bit of a freak. =) Im developing a thing for Triple H from WWF too. But it passes whenever I catch sight of his face. =( I have to admit, Ben Affleck does it for me too. I hate to be trendy, but he -is- witty, cute and -extremely- charming. Guh… what a little hornball I am. Dean Martin, back in the day… _drool_ James Dean and Elvis too. And Marilyn. Guh. Even when I feel like a nut… Im all over Marilyn… she’s the pinnacle of beauty. Maynard from Tool, as well. Just because its Tool! _mm…Tool_ If Cuthbert from Stephen Kings Dark Tower series existed, him too. =) ---
**Author:** ![LCP2972](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@LCP2972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LCP2972)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 9:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-anytime-any-way-you-want/44435/52 "2000-12-08T09:27:50Z")
Salma Hyak, oh my Nikki Cox, Meg Ryan that girl from the noxema commercials,it may have been clearasil though I dont know her name but she had really curly hair what’s her name, from Caroline in the city,main character Marilyn Monroe I can go on,and on, ---
**Author:** ![2nd\_Law](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/2/f475e1/32.png) [@2nd\_Law](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2nd_Law)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 9:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-anytime-any-way-you-want/44435/53 "2000-12-08T09:51:06Z")
Merdith Baxter, just about anywhere on the timeline. And for years I’ve had a thing for Linda Blair. ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-anytime-any-way-you-want/44435/54 "2000-12-08T14:35:58Z")
So we’ve got: Anna Kournikova …oh, the things you could do with her hair… Charlize Theron…yeah, I could see some sweaty, wax on the nipple goings on with her… Jesica Alba…I’d love to see what’s under those skin tight pants… Anniz…just kidding [sub]no I’m not :)[/sub] Nichol Kidman…just thinking about her in _Far and Away_… Angelina Jolie…nice, full lips, mmmmm…sorry, what was the question again? Gabrielle Reece…with an overhand serve to give you shivers… Mrs. **Maru** …’cuz she’s an occasional doper Christinna Ricci…yeah, I could see some dark, randy moments with her, too. And yes, she has gotten quite busty lately Meg Ryan…sweet, soft Meg. _Presidio_ or _Harry met Sally_ Meg. Catherine-Zeta Jones…though she might have to wait…that whole child-birth thing Brittaney Spears…you just know she’s dirty, I see porn in her natural future Jamie Lee Curtis…good pick, still a stunning woman, great legs \ Alina Labaeva…when she’s of age, of course…crazy, gumby sex Gwenneth Paltrow and Winona Ryder…sure, why not? Erika, from Accounting…very nice (though Sandi, in Operations is quite stunning, too) **Eve** …because she says she’s through, she’d know what to do…and she’d make cookies! Mena Suvari…sure, but the rose petals would be a bitch to clean up! Barbara Carrera…ummm, okay. Audrey Hepburn…good call, _very_ good call… **racinchikki** …naked on the infield at Daytona, the roar of the crowd in our ears… Grace Kelly…one of my original picks. A form of distilled beauty. Sela Ward…another **TS** original. I do believe there is a deep well of passion in that there woman… Chesea Clinton…who, I would agree, has managed her awkward years quite well (and it would be fun to see the Secret Service guys come running at the sound of all the moaning and passionate screams…) The Gore girls, all of them…for the same reasons as above, except they never seemed to have “awkward years” Marilyn Monroe…absolutely…and throw in Rita Hayworth to hand out towels and glasses of Gatoraid… Also, in no particular order: Tracy Gold, Enya, **struuter** …just because, **fierra** …for a little spice and flavor…, Misti Rain, Christy Canyon and Nikki Coxx…to teach _me_ things (‘cuz you should never stop learning) ---
**Author:** ![poohpah\_chalupa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/91b2a8/32.png) [@poohpah\_chalupa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/poohpah_chalupa)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-anytime-any-way-you-want/44435/56 "2000-12-08T15:15:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by LCP2972 \* > **…that girl from the noxema commercials,it may have been clearasil though > I dont know her name but she had really curly hair…** **Rebecca Gayheart**. Yeow. current: \*\*Salma Hayek Vanessa Williams Helen Hunt\*\*…something about her is simply _irresistible_ past: **Betty Page** …all this reminds me: [hijack] Where’s **AudreyK** with my lapdance? I passed my 500th post awhile back…I want my mindless debauchery! [/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-anytime-any-way-you-want/44435/57 "2000-12-08T16:30:20Z")
lets see… Past Grace Kelly (Rear Window) Sports Niccole Bobeck My Past Cindy L#\*@#&&d Entertainment Kate Winslet Way Past Madame Curie intelligence is such a turn on) ---
**Author:** ![horowitz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@horowitz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/horowitz)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2000, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-anytime-any-way-you-want/44435/58 "2000-12-08T16:55:02Z")
**Fairuza Balk** - Those eyes…that mouth…hurt me baby hurt me. ---
**Author:** ![Brynda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Brynda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brynda)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2000, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-anytime-any-way-you-want/44435/59 "2000-12-09T02:44:47Z")
John Irving. YUM! I saw him once at a reading just before he published Cider House Rules. He is amazingly sexy. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2000, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-anytime-any-way-you-want/44435/60 "2000-12-10T02:51:19Z")
For me, it would be **Jennifer Connelly** , whose talent and beauty are being wasted on Fox’s ‘The Street’. And **Terri Garr** when she played in ‘Young Frankenstein’. And **Drew Barrymore** when she wore the black wig in ‘Charlie’s Angels’… mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm… ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2000, 10:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-anytime-any-way-you-want/44435/61 "2000-12-11T10:54:53Z")
> [@](#): > > ## quote: > > Originally posted by ReservoirDog > Chelsea Clinton > > I, for one, think she came out of her awkward years quite well. > > Plus it would just be really cool. Me too! Chelsea turned out to be pretty hot!! And it’d be fun to say “Who’s yer Daddy!!” while doing her… If we’re talking about the past, then I have to include: Judie Garland, from the **Wizard of Oz** era _(Oh my!)_ Rita Haywood (oooooooooh!) Ms. Monroe, of course (the mostest perfect woman EVER) Grace Kelly (need I say more?) Barbara Eden (“Yes, Master? What can I do for you?”) and, visiting **cartoonland** : Betty Boop (Boop, INDEED!!) Wilma Flinstone! (_YABBA DABBA DO!!!_) Betty Rubble (I repeat, _YABBA DABBA DO!!!_) Daphne, from **Scooby Doo** Judy, from **The Jetsons** Again, I repeat: So **many** women, so little chance!!! _Astro needs ANOTHER shower!!!_ I’m a **SICK** puppy! But that’s what my fiancee likes about me! 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-anytime-any-way-you-want/44435.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-anytime-any-way-you-want/44435.md?page=4)