# Anyone Ever Take a Mississippi River Cruise? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 10, 2008, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-ever-take-a-mississippi-river-cruise/440895 "2008-03-10T22:09:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2008, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-ever-take-a-mississippi-river-cruise/440895/1 "2008-03-10T22:09:10Z")
I have read Mark Twain since I was a boy. I’ve always been fascinated the the Rive (the “Father of the Waters”. So, I’d like to take the cruise from Memphis, TN, all the wat to NOLA. Is there enough to keep you busy? Whci boat is best (I’m looking at the MS “DELTA QUEEN”). And, in keeping with my admiration of Mark Twain-do you think the pilot would let me take the wheel for a few minutes? ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2008, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-ever-take-a-mississippi-river-cruise/440895/2 "2008-03-10T22:46:40Z")
Memphis to New Orleans? Hell, ya outta go the whole route: St Paul to New Orleans. Got a month to spare? I took some pictures of the Delta Queen as she went past a camping spot of our just below Prescott, Wisconsin. Lovely lady, she. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2008, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-ever-take-a-mississippi-river-cruise/440895/3 "2008-03-11T00:00:28Z")
I want to do this real bad. It looks like a helluva lot of fun. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2008, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-ever-take-a-mississippi-river-cruise/440895/4 "2008-03-11T02:06:34Z")
I haven’t been, but Walt Crawford, who’s a Big Man in the Library Business and also a very nice guy, and whose opinions I would trust, has. He and his wife enjoy cruises very much, and they’ve done the Delta Queen. [Here’s](http://walt.lishost.org/?p=64) his blog post on it. Nothing to do with the Mississippi River, but I met Walt Crawford when I was a library student at a conference, getting drunk on free Elsevier wine. He talked to us for more than an hour about _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ and shitty grammar and only at the very end did I realize who he was. I squealed like I’d just met Elvis and got his autograph, which for all I know is the only time somebody’s ever asked him for it. A great mind in the field and a true gentleman. ETA - when he says most of the passengers are older than he and his wife, keep in mind that he is in his 70’s. ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2008, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-ever-take-a-mississippi-river-cruise/440895/5 "2008-03-11T03:36:00Z")
You’ll want to let me know when you’re passing Vicksburg. I’ll stand on the river bridge and drop rose petals or something on you. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2008, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-ever-take-a-mississippi-river-cruise/440895/6 "2008-03-11T13:22:12Z")
I took the DQ (unfortunate initials) from Memphis to St. Louis a few years ago. You’ve got to be in the mood to do NOTHING for a week. The scenery is pleasant, but monotonous. The three 4-hour stops are in ordinary small towns where nothing much is going on. The good news is they aren’t tourist traps. The bad news is they aren’t tourist traps. You can hear the theme from _Deliverance_ playing in the wind. The cabins are adeqaute, but not at all glitzy like a modern cruise ship. On board recreation is a deck of playing cards & a passell (sp?) of rocking chairs. The band was great, provided yu like Dixieland & jazz & easy listening favorites. The food & overall service was superb. Vastly better than the Vegas buffet-crap served on big ships. We still rave about that to friends. The evening entertainment (by the whole crew, servers & all) was a bit hokey, but a lot of fun. Real, not polished to a high fake sheen. I had my cellphone with me, but signal was unavailable for most of the trip. Prepare for life without connectiivity (which for me was much of the point of the trip.) The pasengers are all 55+, mostly 60-70. In my then-early 40s I was by far the youngest passenger aboard. We spent all day & evening yakking, or just watching the world slide slowly by. Overall I really enjoyed it and would gladly do it again. But you’ve really got to be ready to do NOTHING all day for a week. And to do it in 1940s surroundings (but with air conditioning). Also, you better hurry. Ther DQ operates on a special waiver from the Coast Guard because it doesn’t meet modern safety regs and can’t practically be modified to do so. So they will have to shut down this fall unless Congress re-enacts their waiver. Since the shore is 100-150 yards away at any time & you’re going a whopping 8 knots, I say screw the safety regs & keep the history alive. But I’m nostagic that way. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2008, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-ever-take-a-mississippi-river-cruise/440895/7 "2008-03-11T13:34:05Z")
You can, however, most certainly die in a riverboat fire. The [Sultana](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sultana_(steamboat)) exploded, burned, and sank, killing 1700 people in 1865. I mean, I don’t think the DQ is dangerous, I’d have no qualms about cruising on it, but it’s not like being on a river and going slow makes you safe. A boat like that would go up in a heartbeat. ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2008, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-ever-take-a-mississippi-river-cruise/440895/8 "2008-03-11T23:47:20Z")
As I say, I’d like to see if I could recapture the wonder I felt as a kid, reading Twain’s “Life on the Mississippi” for the first time. Hope the DQ is still around-are there any other stern wheelers left? ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2008, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-ever-take-a-mississippi-river-cruise/440895/9 "2008-03-12T03:20:31Z")
**LSLGuy** pretty well nailed it. I’ve been on the _Delta Queen_ twice, both from NOLA to Natchez and back. She hasn’t quite the amenities of her sister ships, but more than makes up for it by being small. With fewer than 200 passengers, you know everyone on board – at least by sight – within a couple hours of sailing. [QUOTE=ralph124c] And, in keeping with my admiration of Mark Twain-do you think the pilot would let me take the wheel for a few minutes? [/QUOTE] No, but you can visit the wheelhouse when they’re tied up. Better – for a steam-nut like me – it that you _can_ visit the engine room, even when they’re underway.