# Anyone know any particularly OLD songs about masturbation? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 28, 2016, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-know-any-particularly-old-songs-about-masturbation/775774 "2016-12-28T14:08:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![bienville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@bienville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bienville)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2016, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-know-any-particularly-old-songs-about-masturbation/775774/1 "2016-12-28T14:08:35Z")
I’m going to guest on a podcast and the episode’s topic will be songs about masturbation. This is not a Thread looking for general suggestions for the topic, I’ve got a pretty good list together already (and there are _plenty_ of lists sprawling across the internet). I am specifically asking if anyone has any particularly _old_ examples because none of the examples I’ve come up with are particularly old. I’ve got plenty from the 70s up to the current day but the oldest one I’ve come up with is The Who’s “Pictures of Lily” from 1967. Anything pre-60s? Pre-50s? It was right here on this messageboard that I first heard about Lucille Bogan’s “Shave 'Em Dry” from 1935. So, it’s not as if dirty lyrics were never recorded before Rock n Roll. If you can give me any good examples from before 1950, PM me your street address and I will mail you a lollipop. NOTE: Looking for official recordings of songs, preferably with an identifiable songwriter. “The boys at summer camp used to sing this one when I was a kid in the 50s” doesn’t really work for my purposes. Post such examples, by all means! Just know that I can’t really use them so you might not get a lollipop out of it. ---
**Author:** ![casdave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@casdave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/casdave)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2016, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-know-any-particularly-old-songs-about-masturbation/775774/2 "2016-12-28T18:13:20Z")
Big Joe Turner - Cherry Red Its open to some interpretation, but whatever interpretation you do take, its gonna be based only on one thing ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2016, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-know-any-particularly-old-songs-about-masturbation/775774/3 "2016-12-28T18:17:15Z")
Very few bands did masturbation songs. Generally it was a solo act. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2016, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-know-any-particularly-old-songs-about-masturbation/775774/4 "2016-12-28T19:25:57Z")
> [@Ukulele\_Ike](#): > > Very few bands did masturbation songs. Generally it was a solo act. Clap. (Applause, not the disease) ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2016, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-know-any-particularly-old-songs-about-masturbation/775774/5 "2016-12-28T19:53:44Z")
Hmm, what about “My Ding-a-ling” (Dave Bartholomew, 1952)? ---
**Author:** ![minlokwat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/minlokwat/32/2844_2.png) [@minlokwat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minlokwat)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2016, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-know-any-particularly-old-songs-about-masturbation/775774/6 "2016-12-28T20:00:34Z")
I always figured “hand jiving” was more about waxing one’s carrot than some dance involving the hands. Certainly the dance from **Grease** that goes with “Born to Hand Jive” seems to suggest whacking off with ensuing payoff. It seems that song was written specifically for the musical which would date it around 1971. It’s clearly in the style of “Willie and the Hand Jive” (Johnny Otis. 1958) which apart from the “hand” in “Hand Jive” does seem to refer more to a dance. All this is to say, I got nothing. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2016, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-know-any-particularly-old-songs-about-masturbation/775774/7 "2016-12-28T22:19:24Z")
Odd. I just went through a fairly comprehensive book of dirty barroom songs, and not a one makes more than a passing mention of masturbation. I guess mistrels, vaudevillians and rock bands would rather sing about, you know, the real thing. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2016, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-know-any-particularly-old-songs-about-masturbation/775774/8 "2016-12-29T00:38:00Z")
Remember, mastubation was considered a sick form of sexual conduct (even ignoring the health warnings). Back in the 20s men would rather go to a Prostitute or another man (it wasn’t gay if you didn’t “play the woman”) than to take matters into their own hands. It would be akin to singing about pedophilia today. ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2016, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-know-any-particularly-old-songs-about-masturbation/775774/9 "2016-12-29T00:44:56Z")
Mark Twain once gave a satirical lecture about it, but he didn’t sing it. ---
**Author:** ![Bumbershoot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbershoot/32/3428_2.png) [@Bumbershoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbershoot)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2016, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-know-any-particularly-old-songs-about-masturbation/775774/10 "2016-12-29T15:29:13Z")
[Aint Got Nobody To Grind My Coffee](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYl4TfNCmO8) sung by Clara Smith in 1928 [(lyrics here)](http://lyricsplayground.com/alpha/songs/a/aintgotnobodytogrindmycoffee.shtml) doesn’t specifically talk about masturbation, but it does have these lines: > [@](#): > > My daddy used to love me pretty, I’ll confess; > Believe me, he could do it different from the rest! > Ain’t got nobody who could put me to a test, > And do my grinding for me, I say, > And do my grinding for me! ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2016, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-know-any-particularly-old-songs-about-masturbation/775774/11 "2016-12-29T15:57:06Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > Back in the 20s men would rather go to a Prostitute or another man (it wasn’t gay if you didn’t “play the woman”) than to take matters into their own hands. It would be akin to singing about pedophilia today. People whacked off just as much then as now. ---
**Author:** ![Jeff\_Lichtman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeff_lichtman/32/1531_2.png) [@Jeff\_Lichtman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff_Lichtman)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2016, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-know-any-particularly-old-songs-about-masturbation/775774/12 "2016-12-29T16:10:09Z")
[(Who’s Gonna Do Your) Sweet Jelly Rollin’?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBIP34FtZ7s&t=2m42s) by Whistling Rufus (Rufus Bridey) mentions masturbation in one verse. The record was made in 1933. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2016, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-know-any-particularly-old-songs-about-masturbation/775774/13 "2016-12-29T17:00:11Z")
I bet there are tons of such songs from earlier centuries, but the oldest one I know of is [Pierre-Jean de Béranger’s (1780-1857) _Ma grand-mère_](http://short-edition.com/classique/pierre-jean-de-beranger/ma-grand-mere), famous from Guy de Maupassant’s short story “La maison Tellier”: > [@](#): > > […] > _Quoi ! maman, vous n’étiez pas sage ? > – Non vraiment ; et de mes appas > Seule à quinze ans j’appris l’usage, > Car la nuit je ne dormais pas._ > […] > > [What, granny, you weren’t well-behaved? --No indeed, and as for my charms, I learned their use by myself at fifteen years of age, as I didn’t sleep at night.] (Hear it sung [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjl634FhNwc).) Note that this song purports to be an elderly woman’s recollection of sexual licentiousness in general: only this one verse is about masturbation specifically. ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2016, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-know-any-particularly-old-songs-about-masturbation/775774/14 "2016-12-29T23:24:36Z")
Wasn’t My Ding a Ling Chuck Berry’s only number one hit? I heard that as a factoid somewhere anyway. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2016, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-know-any-particularly-old-songs-about-masturbation/775774/15 "2016-12-29T23:41:37Z")
“She-Bop” will be old enough to run for president in a couple of years. ---
**Author:** ![Jeff\_Lichtman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeff_lichtman/32/1531_2.png) [@Jeff\_Lichtman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff_Lichtman)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2016, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-know-any-particularly-old-songs-about-masturbation/775774/16 "2016-12-30T00:48:41Z")
> [@TBG](#): > > Wasn’t My Ding a Ling Chuck Berry’s only number one hit? I heard that as a factoid somewhere anyway. That’s true for the pop charts. He had number one records on the R&B charts for Maybellene, School Day, Sweet Little Sixteen and Johnny B. Goode. My Ding a Ling only went to 42 on the R&B charts. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2016, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-know-any-particularly-old-songs-about-masturbation/775774/17 "2016-12-30T13:15:57Z")
> [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](#): > > People whacked off just as much then as now. Well, obviously there’s no data to compare the two, but in the past there was a major social stigma to masturbation, so you wouldn’t admit to doing it. Singing about it would have been too shocking, much like singing about pedophilia would be today. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2016, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-know-any-particularly-old-songs-about-masturbation/775774/18 "2016-12-30T13:47:19Z")
Old thread from the [SDMB](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=16245). Clearly, this is a topic Enquiring Minds want to know about. ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2016, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-know-any-particularly-old-songs-about-masturbation/775774/19 "2016-12-30T13:59:35Z")
> [@Jeff\_Lichtman](#): > > That’s true for the pop charts. He had number one records on the R&B charts for Maybellene, School Day, Sweet Little Sixteen and Johnny B. Goode. My Ding a Ling only went to 42 on the R&B charts. “My Ding-a-ling” was older than Chuck Berry’s hit, though. As I mentioned in post #5, Dave Bartholomew recorded it in 1952. Wikipedia tells me “In his music encyclopedia _Icons of Rock_, Scott Schinder calls the song ‘a sophomoric, double-entendre-laden ode to masturbation.’” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Ecks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bcef8e/32.png) [@Johnny\_Ecks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Ecks)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2016, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-know-any-particularly-old-songs-about-masturbation/775774/20 "2016-12-30T14:20:08Z")
Nothing specific, but there was a British comedian from the 30s and 40s named George Formby who did a lot of double entendre based songs- some of his probably qualify, like “With my Little Ukulele in my Hand” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-know-any-particularly-old-songs-about-masturbation/775774.md?page=2)