# Anyone know any particularly OLD songs about masturbation? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 28, 2016, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-know-any-particularly-old-songs-about-masturbation/775774 "2016-12-28T14:08:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2016, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-know-any-particularly-old-songs-about-masturbation/775774/21 "2016-12-30T14:21:30Z")
And those of you who will not sing You must be playing with your own ding-a-ling. If that doesn’t make the point, what would? ---
**Author:** ![Sangahyando](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f14d63/32.png) [@Sangahyando](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sangahyando)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2016, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-know-any-particularly-old-songs-about-masturbation/775774/22 "2016-12-30T14:24:10Z")
Well, there’s the rude-parody version of the English folk song _John Peel_ in honour of that famous exponent of the now-forbidden sport of fox-hunting. I first heard aforesaid version, in the 1970s: but would be willing to bet heavily on its having been around for many, many decades before that. A sample: "Do ye ken John Peel, with his coat so gay – A very funny fellow, some folks say: He doesn’t wank in the normal way, But his hounds lick his horn in the morning. When you wake up in the morning, and you’re feeling simply grand, And you get a funny feeling in your seminary gland – If you haven’t got a woman, what’s the matter with your hand? As you revel in the joys of masturbation. [Rude-version chorus]: Cats on the rooftops, cats on the tiles, Cats with syphilis, and cats with piles, Cats with their arseholes wreathed in smiles As they revel in the joys of masturbation / fornication." ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2016, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-know-any-particularly-old-songs-about-masturbation/775774/23 "2016-12-30T18:39:06Z")
I’m not sure if they were part of the sung bits, but Aristophanes’ The Clouds contains references to masturbation. ---
**Author:** ![bienville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@bienville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bienville)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2017, 8:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-know-any-particularly-old-songs-about-masturbation/775774/24 "2017-01-02T08:27:20Z")
> [@casdave](#): > > Big Joe Turner - Cherry Red > > Its open to some interpretation, but whatever interpretation you do take, its gonna be based only on one thing Hmmm, looking at the lyrics, I’d say my personal interpretation would be mutual masturbation- a hand job, to use the parlance of our times. I think it deserves an honorable mention! > [@Bumbershoot](#): > > [Aint Got Nobody To Grind My Coffee](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYl4TfNCmO8) sung by Clara Smith in 1928 > [@Jeff\_Lichtman](#): > > [(Who’s Gonna Do Your) Sweet Jelly Rollin’?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBIP34FtZ7s&t=2m42s) by Whistling Rufus (Rufus Bridey) mentions masturbation in one verse. > [@Kimstu](#): > > [Pierre-Jean de Béranger’s (1780-1857) _Ma grand-mère_](http://short-edition.com/classique/pierre-jean-de-beranger/ma-grand-mere), famous from Guy de Maupassant’s short story “La maison Tellier”) I’ll give these a listen. Thanks! > [@Skammer](#): > > “My Ding-a-ling” was older than Chuck Berry’s hit, though. As I mentioned in post #5, Dave Bartholomew recorded it in 1952. Thanks for mentioning this, **Skammer**. I only knew the Berry version from 1972. To find out that it’s actually 20 years older is great news! **ThelmaLou** , thanks for the link to the older Thread! ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Angel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d26b3c/32.png) [@Johnny\_Angel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Angel)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2017, 10:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-know-any-particularly-old-songs-about-masturbation/775774/25 "2017-01-02T10:37:51Z")
[Cleanin’ My Rifle (And Dreaming of You) - Roy Rogers](https://youtu.be/S1nwLgG8KRs) ---
**Author:** ![Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/face_intentionally_left_blank/32/288_2.png) [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Face_Intentionally_Left_Blank)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2017, 10:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-know-any-particularly-old-songs-about-masturbation/775774/26 "2017-01-02T10:52:27Z")
I remember an old blues tune sung by a woman, on my buddy’s mix tape - “Rubbin’ On That Darned Old Thing.” I got him to copy that tape for me, but of course it’s long gone now. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2017, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-know-any-particularly-old-songs-about-masturbation/775774/27 "2017-01-02T13:30:22Z")
Not a particularly _old_ song, but the David Allan Coe classic _Cum Stains On The Pillow_ fits the bill. ---
**Author:** ![CarnalK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnalk/32/486_2.png) [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2017, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-know-any-particularly-old-songs-about-masturbation/775774/28 "2017-01-02T17:29:02Z")
> [@Johnny\_Angel](#): > > [Cleanin’ My Rifle (And Dreaming of You) - Roy Rogers](https://youtu.be/S1nwLgG8KRs) Apparently, that was originally recorded by [Lawrence Welks(!) in 1943](http://www.authentichistory.com/1939-1945/3-music/11-Separation/19431202_Cleanin_My_Rifle-Lawrence_Welk.html). Makes sense as a WWII song. ---
**Author:** ![CarnalK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnalk/32/486_2.png) [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2017, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-know-any-particularly-old-songs-about-masturbation/775774/29 "2017-01-02T17:43:15Z")
On reflection, I don’t actually know the date on the Roy Rogers recording. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2017, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-know-any-particularly-old-songs-about-masturbation/775774/30 "2017-01-02T20:11:37Z")
I’m highly skeptical of the claim that “Cleanin’ My Rifle (and Dreamin’ of You)” was actually intended to be about masturbation. Obviously, given its mainstream popular-song status, it was not perceived in that way by any significant portion of the general public. Rifle cleaning was something servicemen had to do routinely, which they did publicly in the presence of their fellow soldiers. It required having the gun unloaded so there would be no chance of actually firing anything, and it required shoving a cleaning rod down the rifle bore, which I think most guys would regard as more painful than sexy if applied to genitalia. I defer to the experience of actual WWII vets as to how this song was interpreted, but I’m not convinced that just because modern non-soldiers tee-hee at the phrase “cleaning my rifle” it would have sounded dirty to the servicemen themselves. Sometimes, a military camp chore is just a mliitary camp chore. ---
**Author:** ![CarnalK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnalk/32/486_2.png) [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2017, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-know-any-particularly-old-songs-about-masturbation/775774/31 "2017-01-02T20:24:25Z")
> [@](#): > > Liittle bit lonesome, little bit blue, > Cleanin’ My Rifle, dreamin’ of you > **Beautiful mem’ries come into view, > While Cleanin’ My Rifle, And dreamin’ of you > That good-bye kiss you left on my lips > is still just like new, > And the dream you left in my heart will someday come true, > But in the meanwhile** > Think of me do, > Cleanin’ My Rifle, And dreamin’ of you. And sometimes it’s a masturbation reference. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Angel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d26b3c/32.png) [@Johnny\_Angel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Angel)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2017, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-know-any-particularly-old-songs-about-masturbation/775774/32 "2017-01-02T21:09:19Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > I’m highly skeptical of the claim that “Cleanin’ My Rifle (and Dreamin’ of You)” was actually intended to be about masturbation. Obviously, given its mainstream popular-song status, it was not perceived in that way by any significant portion of the general public. By the lyrics, I’d say that it can’t not be about masturbation. Would they have broadcast such a song as part of an armed services program, as appears to be the case in this recording? I’m reminded of the SNAFU song of which I saw a video a couple of decades ago, and on [YouTube I found what is probably the same performance](https://youtu.be/uhMRO6bMSb8). I remembered it being Andrews Sisters, but that doesn’t turn up. Not only is the song pointedly coy about what SNAFU means, there is even a gag about the word ‘pot’. Also, I recall that the preface of an etymology book I have (possibly Partridge, in the garage somewhere) that the term SNAFU was believed to have been made-up slang. This is by way of arguing that the armed forces did in fact have people working just a bit blue quite on purpose. ---
**Author:** ![bienville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@bienville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bienville)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2017, 9:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-know-any-particularly-old-songs-about-masturbation/775774/33 "2017-01-03T09:34:06Z")
I’m _not_ saying “Cleaning My Rifle” was definitely about masturbation… But pointing out that a song about masturbation wouldn’t have been performed by mainstream artists nor would have gotten mainstream play doesn’t necessarily prove that the song wasn’t about masturbation. Consider the 60s French pop song [“Les Sucettes”](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Les_sucettes). Singer France Gall was an 18 year old girl with a squeaky clean image. Songwriter Serge Gainsbourg was an old lech who thought it would be funny if he could get an 18 year old girl with a squeaky clean image to sing about blowjobs. Gall recorded the song having no idea it was about blowjobs. It got past her entire production team and her record label without anyone thinking, “Hey, this song is about blowjobs!” It wasn’t until the French music press had a field day laughing at this song that was obviously about blowjobs that anyone involved in the recording had it ever even dawn on them. I’m sure if you’d ask Lawrence Welk or Roy Rogers, both of whom were always wholesome All-American figures, if “Cleaning My Rifle” was a song about masturbation they’d be offended at the suggestion. The public listening to the song on the radio, I’m sure they’d absolutley never consider the song had anything but the literal meaning. None of this proves that songwriter Allie Wrubel didn’t write the song laughing to himself “Heh heh! ‘Cleaning My Rifle!’ Heh heh!” The guy was one of the first inductees into the Songwriters Hall of Fame. If he wanted to write a coded song about jerking off that would fly under the radar he certainly had the skills to do so. Certainly there were any number of non-phallic routine duties a serviceman had to attend to during which he could dream of his sweetie back home. ---
**Author:** ![Blues\_Man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc79bd/32.png) [@Blues\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blues_Man)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2017, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-know-any-particularly-old-songs-about-masturbation/775774/34 "2017-01-03T11:49:17Z")
IMO the kids’ song, Jimmy Crack Corn is about masturbation ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2017, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-know-any-particularly-old-songs-about-masturbation/775774/35 "2017-01-03T13:08:27Z")
> [@Blues\_Man](#): > > IMO the kids’ song, Jimmy Crack Corn is about masturbation It’s not a children’s song, it’s a minstrel song and I have never heard an interpretation close to that. It’s about a slave and his master’s death. Crack corn is often interpreted as having to do with getting drunk off of corn whiskey. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-know-any-particularly-old-songs-about-masturbation/775774.md?page=1)