# Anyone looking forward to DOOM? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 15, 2005, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-looking-forward-to-doom/326401 "2005-10-15T22:03:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Sierra\_Indigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2005, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-looking-forward-to-doom/326401/41 "2005-10-16T10:41:02Z")
Doom is being released in Australia on 27/10 (the trailer just came on as I opened this thread) - so either it’s coming out in the US tomorrow, or we’re probably looking at a worldwide release 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Banquet\_Bear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/banquet_bear/32/373_2.png) [@Banquet\_Bear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banquet_Bear)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2005, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-looking-forward-to-doom/326401/42 "2005-10-16T11:00:10Z")
> [@Lumpy](#): > > Another vote for they should have used the Doom I/II monsters rather than the Doom 3 monsters. And while there was a really poor novelization of the original Doom games (stretched out to four paperback novels wouldja believe), I myself could write a better Doom-based story longer than four pages. > > Or… maybe… they should have done it as an animated feature, with graphics based on the original Doom? **"Rip and tear your guts! You are huge, which means you have HUGE GUTS! Rip and tear!** …so sayeth the Doom guy, from the 1996 Doom Comic… [http://www.doomworld.com/10years/doomcomic/](http://www.doomworld.com/10years/doomcomic/) [http://www.doomworld.com/10years/doomcomic/comic.php](http://www.doomworld.com/10years/doomcomic/comic.php) Be warned, it is very, VERY BAD… ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2005, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-looking-forward-to-doom/326401/43 "2005-10-16T11:35:38Z")
> [@Critical1](#): > > I saw the Rundown in theaters on accident and it surprised me to no end, he was pretty damn funny in that flick. > > I think the blue gun in the trailer is the plasma gun not the bfg, cause you know the bfg shoots GREEN! > > could be wrong and if I am then they suck. Perhaps you should have a read of [this](http://www.comingsoon.net/news/topnews.php?id=11531). I haven’t yet, it’s too long and I’m sleepy. ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2005, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-looking-forward-to-doom/326401/44 "2005-10-16T12:33:24Z")
I see it as a retelling of _The Secret Life of Walter Middy_. Drew is a poor, put-upon husband. He has to take his kids to the soccer game. (Cue Duke fantasy based on soccer game.) He has to check into a hotel. (Cue Duke fantasy based on a hotel.) And so on. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2005, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-looking-forward-to-doom/326401/45 "2005-10-16T12:56:22Z")
[Apparently it’s dreadful](http://www.iesb.net/universal2005/100705b.php). (Massive spoilers!) ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2005, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-looking-forward-to-doom/326401/46 "2005-10-16T13:01:04Z")
That’s clever. (Though it’s “Walter Mitty”.) Didn’t know that stuff about “Duke Nukem” and unauthorized dialogue. Thanks for crushing a boy’s dreams. The funniest fan modification of “Doom” I recall was replacing the final monster with Barney the Dinosaur (complete with song). ---
**Author:** ![Albert\_Rose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9de053/32.png) [@Albert\_Rose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Albert_Rose)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2005, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-looking-forward-to-doom/326401/47 "2005-10-16T14:01:04Z")
I’m guessing that the movie will suck. The Rock, in my prediction, will be the best thing about the movie - IF he doesn’t try to act tough and serious. Maybe he can reprise the gay cowboy bodyguard role he played in _Be Cool_. Boy, did that comic suck. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2005, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-looking-forward-to-doom/326401/48 "2005-10-16T14:07:45Z")
> [@Quartz](#): > > [Apparently it’s dreadful](http://www.iesb.net/universal2005/100705b.php). (Massive spoilers!) MISSED? With a BFG? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2005, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-looking-forward-to-doom/326401/49 "2005-10-16T16:01:59Z")
> [@Banquet Bear](#): > > **"Rip and tear your guts! You are huge, which means you have HUGE GUTS! Rip and tear!** > > …so sayeth the Doom guy, from the 1996 Doom Comic… > > [http://www.doomworld.com/10years/doomcomic/](http://www.doomworld.com/10years/doomcomic/) > [http://www.doomworld.com/10years/doomcomic/comic.php](http://www.doomworld.com/10years/doomcomic/comic.php) > > Be warned, it is very, VERY BAD… I disagree. It may be one of the greatest things I’ve ever read- and I’m only on the first panel of the second page. ---
**Author:** ![Tentacle\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2005, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-looking-forward-to-doom/326401/50 "2005-10-16T16:45:38Z")
I’ve said this before, but I’ll say it again. DOOM will be the cinematic equivalent of a donkey punch: painful, humiliating, and perfectly capable of lowering your IQ by about 10 points. ---
**Author:** ![Domokun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c77e96/32.png) [@Domokun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Domokun)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2005, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-looking-forward-to-doom/326401/51 "2005-10-16T16:57:27Z")
Sounds like they’re shooting for “so bad it’s good”. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2005, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-looking-forward-to-doom/326401/52 "2005-10-16T17:31:17Z")
Re the Doom comic Now, that I’ve read the whole thing, I can see what they were thinking. The comic actually works well if you imagine the soldier being played by (not surprisingly) Bruce Campbell. He begins as ridiculously over the top while on the beserker pack. Then he transitions to tweaked subtle parody of action hero. When he makes the environmental speech, he starts with a stoic voice and a single manly tear. He becomes increasingly overwrought. By the time he says “Oh, the humanity!” he’s on his knees sobbing uncontrollably weeping truly excessive amounts of tears while great rivers of snot come from his nose. Then he sees the gun, asbently wipes the back of his hand across his face, stands up and is instantly composed again. ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2005, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-looking-forward-to-doom/326401/53 "2005-10-17T05:45:34Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > I disagree. It may be one of the greatest things I’ve ever read- and I’m only on the first panel of the second page. “My cause is just, my will is strong… and my gun is very very large!” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2005, 8:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-looking-forward-to-doom/326401/54 "2005-10-17T08:48:46Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > Kurt Russel. Have the rest of the movie be ridiculous, but Russel plays a Nukem who is dead serious except for his massive ego. They made that movie. It was called **Soldier** , and it was shite. Urinal drinking could only have improved it, but all we got was an old lady giving him a nice woolly scarf as a consolation for being exiled. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2005, 9:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-looking-forward-to-doom/326401/55 "2005-10-17T09:08:27Z")
> [@Banquet Bear](#): > > **"Rip and tear your guts! You are huge, which means you have HUGE GUTS! Rip and tear!** > > …so sayeth the Doom guy, from the 1996 Doom Comic… > > Be warned, it is very, VERY BAD… It’s completely brilliant! “Ahh! Chainsaw! The great communicator!” “Allow me to communicate to you my desire to have your guns! Brrrummmm!” Every panel a sig line! ---
**Author:** ![Terminus\_Est](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terminus_est/32/3087_2.png) [@Terminus\_Est](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terminus_Est)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2005, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-looking-forward-to-doom/326401/56 "2005-10-17T16:03:52Z")
If the movie were half as funny as the comic, it would be a masterpiece. > [@](#): > > It will take a strong man to bring the light of freedom back to this planet. A strong man with the biggest, baddest gun in the world! > > Amen to that. ---
**Author:** ![audiobottle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bc8723/32.png) [@audiobottle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/audiobottle)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2005, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-looking-forward-to-doom/326401/57 "2005-10-17T17:19:20Z")
After reading that comic, I feel like Jacob must have felt, as he wrestled with God at the foot of a giant ladder that ascended into heaven with angels going up and down. Or something. I’m not sure what I’m talking about, but that comic is _gold_. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2005, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-looking-forward-to-doom/326401/58 "2005-10-17T17:58:30Z")
Was this _Doom_ comic the one I’ve heard rumors about, wherein the Marine grumbles that he’d like to give the demons “a lemon-flavored suppository” with his rocket launcher? ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2005, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-looking-forward-to-doom/326401/59 "2005-10-17T18:29:46Z")
The comic is hilarious, though his bloodstain on his hand keeps changing sides, and then disappears entirely. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2005, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-looking-forward-to-doom/326401/60 "2005-10-17T18:45:51Z")
If the movie is half as good as that comic, then all my hopes and desires about it will be fulfilled. “At this particular moment in time, I don’t believe I have a healthier or more deeply felt respect for any object in the universe than this here shotgun.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-looking-forward-to-doom/326401.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-looking-forward-to-doom/326401.md?page=4)