# Anyone made a friend using an online service? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 7, 2013, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-made-a-friend-using-an-online-service/675770 "2013-12-07T20:34:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2013, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-made-a-friend-using-an-online-service/675770/1 "2013-12-07T20:34:20Z")
Something like [match.com](http://match.com) or [OKCupid.com](http://OKCupid.com), except for non-romantic, non-sexual relationships? ---
**Author:** ![Noodles\_Fellicini](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e36b37/32.png) [@Noodles\_Fellicini](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noodles_Fellicini)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2013, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-made-a-friend-using-an-online-service/675770/2 "2013-12-07T23:52:32Z")
Well, there was this one time when I met up with a guy for a date mostly because his profile said he was looking for friends. But then after I met him he said he had enough friends. Turns out he was looking for a bimbo to also help raise his son. So, no. ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2013, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-made-a-friend-using-an-online-service/675770/3 "2013-12-08T05:29:26Z")
> **[Meetup - We are what we do](https://www.meetup.com/)** > > Find Meetup events so you can do more of what matters to you. Or create your own group and meet people near you who share your interests. City/Local sections at reddit or similar. ---
**Author:** ![Happyasaclam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/7c8e57/32.png) [@Happyasaclam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happyasaclam)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2013, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-made-a-friend-using-an-online-service/675770/4 "2013-12-08T07:29:52Z")
Had fabulous results with [Meetup.com](http://Meetup.com) ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2013, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-made-a-friend-using-an-online-service/675770/5 "2013-12-08T15:37:05Z")
I have a friend who kinda made a friend via OKCupid. I think her profile said she was bi, and a girl who is a lesbian contacted her. Not sure if she contacted her to make a date or to make friends - as the lesbian person was new in town and was actually seeking out friends (but also a girlfriend). Anyway, they didn’t start dating but they became very close friends (they lived in the same neighborhood) and I became friends with her and it was all very cool. Wonderful girl! But then she moved to Europe. Boo!! You can meet friends on OKCupid. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2013, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-made-a-friend-using-an-online-service/675770/6 "2013-12-08T16:37:19Z")
You can also seek out companionship on craiglist, though [sometimes it doesn’t work out so well.](http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/12/07/21811759-newlywed-couple-found-murder-victim-on-craigslist-police-say) \*"A couple married for just three weeks lured a man to his death with a Craigslist ad because they wanted to kill someone together, police said. Elytte Barbour told officers before his arrest Friday night that he and his wife, Miranda, had planned to kill before, but their plans never worked out until last month when Troy LaFerrara responded to an online posting that promised companionship in return for money, authorities said."\* ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2013, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-made-a-friend-using-an-online-service/675770/7 "2013-12-08T18:08:58Z")
I fulfilled a therapy homework assignment by registering on one of those “friend” websites. I just read through all the profiles of people who are in my area. I’m feeling pretty “meh” about the whole thing. I wish I could muster up excitement. But it just seems so “fake” to me. I don’t know why. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2013, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-made-a-friend-using-an-online-service/675770/8 "2013-12-08T18:40:48Z")
Think of it like college. You all get dumped into this dorm based on no reason, but because of proximity you are exposed to bunches of people. While the potential relationships are based on fake reasons (random proximity) you can quickly ferret out which people could become good friends and which won’t. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2013, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-made-a-friend-using-an-online-service/675770/9 "2013-12-08T19:03:06Z")
I don’t know if I can quickly ferret out anything, though. Everyone’s profiles are pretty similar. And no one has a pic in their profile. I don’t know why this should bother me since I’m not trying to hook up with anyone. But I guess physical appearance does matter to me at least a little. I even said so in my profile but I seem to be the only one who checked that box\*. Maybe I need to add “conceited” to my personality description. \*I am relatively open-minded, but I don’t think I would handle “extremes” very well. Some extra body weight is fine. But not 600 lbs extra. I wouldn’t even notice a few tattos, but I am going to be put off by someone who takes their beauty tips from Tammy Faye (living or dead). So that’s why I said physical appearance matters a little to me. ---
**Author:** ![Tethered\_Kite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a5b964/32.png) [@Tethered\_Kite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tethered_Kite)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2013, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-made-a-friend-using-an-online-service/675770/10 "2013-12-08T19:46:32Z")
Yes. I made more than handful of friends through an entertainment forum I was on. It wasn’t something I was seeking out but rather just a lot of like-minded people who found and liked each other. We had so much fun that the sponsor finally closed us down. Not what he wanted. He called us “inbred.” While it lasted we sent things to each other, visited each other across country in each other’s homes and even went on a cruise together. I’m still in touch by email with a few of my cyberfriends. I don’t know if any of us had sex but IIRC, there were some problematic issues and at least one marriage dissolution. ---
**Author:** ![CatherineZeta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e95f7d/32.png) [@CatherineZeta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CatherineZeta)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2013, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-made-a-friend-using-an-online-service/675770/11 "2013-12-08T19:53:46Z")
I had a pen pal from the No Doubt fan forum when I was a teenager. We never met up though and gradually drifted apart. I’m twitter friends with fellow Morrissey fans, but so far we’ve never met up in person. My mom is a big fan of [meetup.com](http://meetup.com) and has met some friends there. She’s disabled and can’t work, so it’s hard for her to find friends in more conventional ways. ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2013, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-made-a-friend-using-an-online-service/675770/12 "2013-12-08T21:40:14Z")
I’m still friends 15-17 years later with people I met on a Baldur’s Gate message board and playing EQ. I mean, visiting, attending weddings and other events level of friends. We’ve even traveled together with a few of them. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2013, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-made-a-friend-using-an-online-service/675770/13 "2013-12-08T22:48:45Z")
Does the SDMB count? I was a charter member of the B.A.D.S.; pretty much all of my close friend when I lived in SF were as a direct result of this site. ---
**Author:** ![Artemis\_Tardis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4bbf92/32.png) [@Artemis\_Tardis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Artemis_Tardis)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2013, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-made-a-friend-using-an-online-service/675770/14 "2013-12-09T01:06:28Z")
Lot of my friends came from the internet. So yes, you can make friends online. ---
**Author:** ![LibrarySpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f9ae1b/32.png) [@LibrarySpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LibrarySpy)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2013, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-made-a-friend-using-an-online-service/675770/15 "2013-12-09T01:14:15Z")
I’ve made a lot of friends through the internet, like here, but never through a meet-up or dating site. Even though my therapist made me sign up for Meetup and go to a few events. I should go to more… /ennui ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2013, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-made-a-friend-using-an-online-service/675770/16 "2013-12-09T01:27:57Z")
> [@Rysler](#): > > I’ve made a lot of friends through the internet, like here, but never through a meet-up or dating site. > > Even though my therapist made me sign up for Meetup and go to a few events. I should go to more… > > /ennui I’ve gone to a few of meetups. They were just “okay”. Even the one where some of the people annoyed me wasn’t that bad. It’s just that they weren’t fun. They just felt like homework assignments. For me to break out of my routine, I need more than just “okay”, I guess. **Jack Batty** , I guess I wasn’t counting the SDMB. I do get along with you folks, and I do have my favorite posters. But are ya’ll my friends? I don’t know. I kinda-sorta thought about going to the Fairfax Dopefest, but not very seriously. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2013, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-made-a-friend-using-an-online-service/675770/17 "2013-12-09T01:51:09Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > **Jack Batty** , I guess I wasn’t counting the SDMB. I do get along with you folks, and I do have my favorite posters. But are ya’ll my friends? I don’t know. I kinda-sorta thought about going to the Fairfax Dopefest, but not very seriously. FWIW I have made serious IRL friends here on the dope. People I have gone to lunch with, had a beer with, stayed at their house overnight, had BBQ with, etc. All of those IRL things. All from the dope. There are also several members here that I consider very close friends, yet we have never met in meatspace. They know who they are, and they know I treasure their friendship. I consider their friendship every bit as real as every other friend I have. (Hey guys, you know who you are, and you know I love you!) ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2013, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-made-a-friend-using-an-online-service/675770/18 "2013-12-09T02:09:22Z")
**Monstro** … I did mean “friends,” as in when I was going through my divorce, **Rasa** and **OldScratch** drove up from San Jose to listen to me cry in my beer; that **Demo** and **Psycat** invited my to their house, putting up with my dog all the while, for my birthday; that **woodstockbirdybird** invited me to his house for Thanskgiving with his fiance and future in-laws because I had no where else to go; that in for the four weekends before I move back to Maine, **SeaDiver** , **Snoooooopy** , et al, hosted an ongoing going away party for me; that I lived on **zyzyva** ’s couch for two months; that even **Zenster** went out of his way to take care of my dog while I was in couch-surfing limbo … so, yeah, I made some good, face-to-face, friends here. But I get your point – I’m just feeling a little nostalgic tonight. ---
**Author:** ![araminty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b5e925/32.png) [@araminty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/araminty)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2013, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-made-a-friend-using-an-online-service/675770/19 "2013-12-09T04:03:40Z")
I joined a book club that I found on Craigslist. I really liked it, but it disbanded when half the members moved to Portland. Stupid Oregon! I liked that it was small (all of 5 members); we half-heartedly auditioned a few new members now and then, including after the great Portland exodus, but it fizzled out. The book clubs I see on [meetup.com](http://meetup.com) seem much larger, which doesn’t appeal as much. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2013, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-made-a-friend-using-an-online-service/675770/20 "2013-12-09T04:24:02Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > I’ve gone to a few of meetups. They were just “okay”. Even the one where some of the people annoyed me wasn’t that bad. > > It’s just that they weren’t fun. They just felt like homework assignments. For me to break out of my routine, I need more than just “okay”, I guess. Generally speaking, people on Meetup suck. Okay, I suppose they’re fine and pleasant enough people, but I almost never met folks I’d hang out with in my spare time. But you only need to meet one or two people who are cool to make it worth it. I made a few friends through Meetup and then quit. I started going to stuff when I moved to a new town, made a few friends, and haven’t gone to anything since. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-made-a-friend-using-an-online-service/675770.md?page=2)