# Anyone spotted Elvis lately? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 10, 2000, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-spotted-elvis-lately/21978 "2000-06-10T21:47:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Siddhartha\_Vicious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/919ad9/32.png) [@Siddhartha\_Vicious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siddhartha_Vicious)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2000, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-spotted-elvis-lately/21978/22 "2000-06-12T20:40:50Z")
Here I am, dammit. I’ve never been to Kalamazoo, and I ain’t never seen no aliens. I’ve been performing weddings in Vegas and directing porn videos. ---
**Author:** ![WebMasterUSA](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/87869e/32.png) [@WebMasterUSA](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WebMasterUSA)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2000, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-spotted-elvis-lately/21978/23 "2000-06-13T01:15:47Z")
Can you take MY porno wedding pictures? And can you introduce me to someone who wants to get married? ---
**Author:** ![Monster104](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Monster104](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monster104)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2000, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-spotted-elvis-lately/21978/24 "2000-06-13T01:31:35Z")
I saw him in my toilet but I had already started the flush cycle… ---
**Author:** ![Show\_Biz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/77aa72/32.png) [@Show\_Biz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Show_Biz)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2000, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-spotted-elvis-lately/21978/25 "2000-06-13T03:03:41Z")
**The spotted Elvis lives in trees, like the spotted owl.** ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2000, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-spotted-elvis-lately/21978/26 "2000-06-13T05:16:06Z")
Just the other day, I saw him crying like a baby over in Tupelo. He had a bag of microwave porkrinds and a KoolColt tallboy. Had pulled in to the Grocery Boy Jr. in a '75 Lincoln Continental, and just sat there sobbing and wiping the sweat off his forehead. He didn’t have the telltale sideburns or black pompadour. His hair was a close cropped silver gray. He was even bigger than I remember. No fancy jumpsuit or jewelry, except for a rather demure TCB neckchain. But I knew it was the King. “Are you OK?”, I asked. He looked up at me with sad eyes, shook his head, looked up again. “Hell no. You wanna go to the lake?” I found myself saying sure, and we rode out to the lake, talking long into the wee hours. Elvis doesn’t like being dead, or having to go out with such an embarrassingly bad end. He woulda done it different, but Dr. Nick was so persuasive, being a Dr. and all. Whatever. At the time , it seemed the only way out. But sitting on the sidelines has taken it’s toll. There’s plenty of money, but he really did change the hipshake of America, and it pains him to not be able to still at least have a say. And when Lisa Marie married that weird boy, well, any Daddy in his right mind would go crazy. “Sure, I’m old, and can’t fit in to my '68 Comeback leathers, but damn, I shook it UP, didn’t I?” I assured him that he did, he really changed everything, but that was the past. He was about as free as anyone could be now, and should just do what he wanted to. He smiled, and started to sing,“Bluuue Mooooonnn…” I woke up alone as the sun came up, that Lincoln was long gone. Stuck my toes in the mud and watched the blue come up onto yellow. Hope he’s doin’ alright. What a fine pretty voice. ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2000, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-spotted-elvis-lately/21978/27 "2000-06-13T14:15:01Z")
> [@](#): > > Elvis doesn’t like being dead, Dead? So your saying that the big “E” is dead? I loved what you wrote though. Since you went to the lake with him for the night I don’t suppose there are going to be any little “e” 's around anytime soon are there? ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2000, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-spotted-elvis-lately/21978/28 "2000-06-13T15:36:36Z")
I’ve always thought “Elvis” is a damn cool name. Think about it. “No, little Elvis, you may NOT play outside until you finish your corn.” I thought I saw Abraham Lincoln in a potato chip once, but not The King. ---
**Author:** ![JimmyNipples](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/eb9ed0/32.png) [@JimmyNipples](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimmyNipples)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2000, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-spotted-elvis-lately/21978/29 "2000-06-13T16:09:59Z")
Yes…he’s here in my pants…oh wait…are talking about the entertainer? Never mind then. ---
**Author:** ![Qwisp](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qwisp/32/397_2.png) [@Qwisp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qwisp)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2000, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-spotted-elvis-lately/21978/30 "2000-06-13T18:11:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Yes…he’s here in my pants… > \*\* Now we have the truth, Elvis really is dead ---
**Author:** ![bunnymom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c4cdca/32.png) [@bunnymom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bunnymom)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2000, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-spotted-elvis-lately/21978/31 "2000-06-13T21:25:37Z")
This woman has seen Elvis lately, and in the most unusual place too. [http://www.annanova.com/news/story/sm\_6818.html](http://www.annanova.com/news/story/sm_6818.html) ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2000, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-spotted-elvis-lately/21978/32 "2000-06-13T21:35:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > This woman has seen Elvis lately, and in the most unusual place too. > [http://www.annanova.com/news/story/sm\_6818.html](http://www.annanova.com/news/story/sm_6818.html) > \*\* I think they were both drunk on Guinnness ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2000, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-spotted-elvis-lately/21978/33 "2000-06-14T05:25:48Z")
The first church of Elvis… [http://chelsea.ios.com/~hkarlin1/fact.html](http://chelsea.ios.com/~hkarlin1/fact.html) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-spotted-elvis-lately/21978.md?page=1)